“My side of the family,” sighed James. “That could prove to be difficult.”
“They can’t possibly be worse than my lot,” said Myrtle.
“Difficult to say,” said James. “They have never been around.”
“Your birth certificate?” asked Myrtle.
“Says unknown for both parents,” said James.
“So you’ve seen it?” asked Myrtle.
“That’s what they told me at the orphanage,” said James.
“So you haven’t actually seen it,” said Myrtle.
“Well, no, there didn’t seem to be much point. How about you?” James asked.
“They told me it had been lost, I think the office caught fire or something,” said Myrtle. “Do you want to look into it?”
“I’m not sure,” said James.
“The alternative is that we choose names we like or friends names,” said Myrtle. “But we do need to choose names soon just so they can go on their birth certificates.”
“I hadn’t thought of that,” said James sighing.
“Let me know when you think of something,” said Enid. “Then we can go tell the Great Grandparents.”
“OK Granny,” said Myrtle.
“Granny! couldn’t you think of something a little less old sounding than that whilst you’re at it,” said Enid, slowly fading away.
“I don’t know which is worse, the slow fade out or the sudden vanish,” said James, staring at the space Enid had been in.
“I think it is the sudden appearance that’s worst,” said Myrtle, as the twins started to cry. “That sounds like a nappy to me,” she added.
“How can you tell?” James asked.
“Something about the tone of the cry, it sort of says yuck, I’ve done something, take it away,” said Myrtle.
“I’m not sure I wanted to know that,” said James as they each picked up a baby. “But I think you are right, something very smelly.”
“If we each do one, they will be happy sooner,” said Myrtle.
“But you are so much better at it than me,” said James.
“The smell will go sooner,” Myrtle added. “Also, you wont improve your nappy skills without practice.”
“OK,” he said not sounding all that sure of it, but getting the changing bag.
An hour later, with the babies cleaned, fed and once more fast asleep they were sitting relaxing on the sofa.
“I was thinking Christopher would be a good name,” said Myrtle.
“I was thinking Catherine,” said James.
“Am I right in assuming that Christopher is for the boy and Catherine for the girl?” asked Enid appearing in front of them.
“I think you were right,” James said to Myrtle.
“Of course she was right,” said Enid. “Right about what?” she added.
“Christopher for the boy and Catherine for the girl,” said Myrtle.
“Right, I’m glad that’s cleared up,” said Enid. “If we nip over now, your Grandparents are in, we can introduce them to Christopher and Catherine.”
“You just want to rattle Natasha’s cage,” Myrtle smiled.
“Of course,” smiled Enid. “It has to be one of the plus sides of being a Granny.”
“May as well get it over with,” said James. “It would be interesting to meet them.”
“You want to come as well?” asked Enid.
“They are our children,” said James. “I am a part of this family.”
“He should meet them,” said Myrtle.
“I suppose so,” said Enid, waving her wand.
“Enid!” said Natasha.
“I thought I’d bring my two Grandchildren to see two of their Great Grandparents,” smiled Enid.
“Do you mind, it makes us sound old,” snapped Natasha.
“Maybe that’s because you are old,” said Enid. “Christopher and Catherine, meet the oldies,” said Enid smiling at the two babies.
“Christopher and Catherine?” said Natasha.
“Yes,” said Myrtle.
“I think one of my Uncles was called Christopher,” said Malcolm .
“Was that the one we don’t talk about?” asked Natasha.
“No, his name was Nigel,” said Malcolm. “Christopher was the one who ran a donkey sanctuary.”
“I remember visiting it,” said Enid. “They didn’t let anyone ride on the donkey’s.”
“Maybe the donkey’s didn’t like people riding on them,” said James.
“Maybe they didn’t have any saddles,” suggested Myrtle.
“No saddles,” said Enid. “I think that was the reason.”
“Nothing wrong with running a donkey sanctuary,” said Myrtle.
“I think you had a cousin called Catherine as well,” said Natasha.
“Yes,” said Malcolm. “She was very kind, we kept getting left with her when the parents got busy.”
“That would be most of the time,” said Enid.
“Yes,” said Malcolm, looking surprised.
“Well, they look to be healthy,” said Natasha, looking at the babies and trying to think of something to say.
“Very healthy,” said James smiling.
“Who are you?” asked Natasha.
“This is James, my husband,” said Myrtle.
“So why did you bring him here?” asked Malcolm.
“Because he is part of the family,” snapped Myrtle. “I shouldn’t have to explain that.”
“Look, it’s very simple,” said Malcolm to James. “You get married, they have the babies and you carry on with your life and leave the little ones to them,” he added nodding towards the women.
“It doesn’t work that way, not now,” said James. “You miss out on so much if you aren’t part of bringing up the kids.”
“You mean like mucky nappies,” he laughed. “I think I was dodging a bullet missing out on those.”
“There’s more to babies than nappies,” said James.
“Then there’s the sleepless nights,” Malcolm continued.
“They soon get to sleep through the night,” said James. “Anyway, working as a Doctor, I’m used to having my sleep patterns messed up.”
“It’s your choice,” said Natasha. “Personally I’d put them in a nursery and pick them up when they are more coherent or get a Nanny if you must have them in your home.”
“Yes well, some people have paternal instincts,” said Enid.
“We always made sure you were cared for,” said Natasha, smiling at Enid.
“Yes, but always by someone else,” said Enid.
“We wanted the best person for the job,” said Malcolm. “It just didn’t happen to be either of us.”
“You didn’t even try,” Enid snapped.
“There was work to be done and children did rather get in the way,” said Natasha.
“Why did you bother to have us, if we were that much of an inconvenience?” asked Enid.
“Everyone I knew was having babies,” said Natasha. “It seemed like a good idea, shame the reality feel a bit short.”
“I think we had better get back,” said Myrtle, as one of the babies and then the other farted.
“Don’t tell me, it’s a nappy change,” said Malcolm.
“Yes, we had better go before they remember how messy children can be,” said Enid. “We wouldn’t want to stink out their house.”
“I was thinking there was a bit of an odd smell,” said James.
“It’s that dog of yours again,” said Natasha, glaring at her husband.
“He can’t help it, he’s getting a bit old,” he replied. “I’ll get the maid to deal with it.”
“You do that,” said Enid. “Don’t ever think of cleaning anything up yourself,” she added waving her wand.
“Shame we can’t get someone else to look after that thing,” Natasha said to her husband as they slowly vanished.
“Will you do that to me, when I get old?” he asked her.
“Yes, I have a place picked out for you,” said Natasha. “Your first mess will be your last here.”
By Janice Nye © 2021
No comments:
Post a Comment