The Fairy Godmother Part 47

“Good morning Violet,” I yawned as soon as I was solidly in the office. The intention had been to walk over there for 6am, but the alarm clock had failed to go off, either that or I’d failed to set it and it was now 7am and I was feeling guilty. I used my wand to get to the office, I had a feeling that Enid might be doing her bit to show that Violet couldn’t handle the job and she has never been one to wait for things to go wrong.

“So, everything is under control Wallflower?” Violet said, waving at her mobile to show she was on the phone.

“We have alternative suppliers already organised, there will be no interruption in our work,” Wallflower replied.

“Thank-you,” said Violet, ending the call.

“And what are you doing about the laundrette?” demanded Enid flinging the office doors open and marching in. It’s times like this that I can see her being a very good bad fairy, she has all the presence, the dramatic entrances and the voice for it.

“What about the laundrette?” I asked.

“The company that has supplied them for as long as I can remember has refused to renew their contract and has stopped sending all the cleaning products that they have been sending us,” said Enid.

“I was negotiating that contract four days ago and they were more than happy with their continued association with us,” I said.

“I spoke to them and they weren’t in the least bit happy,” said Enid sounding flustered. In the background I saw Violet on her mobile.

“When did you speak to them?” I asked.

“Does it matter when I spoke to them,” Enid snapped. “They were most unhappy with the way the Department was handling the negotiations.”

“Of course it matters,” I replied. “And why were you talking to them, this is a department contract, it is for us to organise, it is not in the remit of the Fairy Council. It is also something that you haven’t bothered about sorting before, so why did you get involved now?”

“The laundry deals with all departments, it is therefore important to the Council that it runs smoothly,” said Enid.

“I have just been on the phone to our usual suppliers,” said Violet. “They were quite happy with the contract, as organised last week, but they got a phone call from the Head of the Fairy Council saying that all materials supplied must go through a rigorous testing procedure before they would be permitted to be sold to us. This would take at least four years and the contract was void until it was done. As you can imagine, they were not amused, it being 4am didn’t improve matters.”

“I was reading through Council regulations with regard to suppliers,” said Enid.

“That is with regard to new suppliers and products,” Violet replied. “Continuation of contract does not require such testing and anyway, the products have already undergone those tests or we wouldn’t be using them.”

“I see,” said Enid. “That doesn’t alter the fact that we have a supply problem on our hands, what are you going to do about it?”

“A problem of your creating,” I said, but I don’t think anyone was listening.

“I have had other suppliers lined up because I think it is unwise to be dependent on one company,” said Violet. “As we are speaking, they are sending supplies to us.”

“Have they gone through the proper testing procedures?” asked Enid.

“Of course they have,” Violet replied.

“How long have you been organising this,” Enid yelled.

“I raised the problem with the Head of the Laundry a few years ago, when there was a delay in supplies and suggested that she needed a few alternative suppliers, on hand, in case there were problems again. She thought it was a good idea,” said Violet.

“And how come I wasn’t told about it?” Enid demanded.

“If I remember rightly,” Violet replied. “We put the idea to you at the time, you yawned before we’d even got through a quarter of what we were telling you and told us that you didn’t want to be bothered with little details like that and to get on with it.”

“I don’t remember that,” Enid replied, not sounding quiet so sure of herself.

“It sounds highly likely,” I replied.

“And who asked your opinion?” Enid snapped, back to her usual self.

“In case you have forgotten, I am the one who is overseeing the change to our new Head of Department,” I said. “The one who arranged the contract that you just trashed.”

“It wasn’t a very good contract,” said Enid.

“Really, it was identical to the previous one, which you organised,” I shouted.

“We are getting off the point,” said Enid glaring at me.

“And what is that point?” asked Violet.

“The supply of washing stuff to the laundrette,” Enid replied. “It doesn’t take them long to get though however much they’ve got and then what will we do?”

“I have organised alternative supplies and when we have finished here, the Fairy Godmother and I will go to the original suppliers and see what can be done as far as they are concerned,” Violet replied.

“I see,” said Enid. “Well, as Head of the Fairy Council, I will expect a full report on this debacle by the end of the day.”

“It will be done,” said Violet. “Now if you don’t mind we have some bridges to build.”

“I shall leave you to it,” she said and with a wave of her wand she was gone.

“I thought she might try something,” I sighed. “But I thought she’d give you a few hours to get settled in first.”

“Technically, she did wait till 4am,” said Violet. “I just didn’t think she’d use the laundrette, it’s an area she tries to avoid.”

“We’d better go,” I sighed.

Two hours later Violet had talked the supplier round to signing a slightly amended version of the contract that I had got them to sign, the amendment was a twenty percent discount as a regular customer.

“The report?” I asked when we got back to the office.

“I have been taking notes,” said Violet, looking at her mobile phone. I was wondering what she had been doing, all that taping on her mobile. “The report is mostly sketched out, I just need to firm up on a few of the details and then submit it to the Fairy Council.”

“Sounds easy,” I said.

“There is no point in making more of the job than is necessary,” Violet smiled. “What do you think she will try next.”

“The canteen,” I said, checking my phone to see if I had missed any messages. It lit up like a Christmas tree. “I was right!”

“Same thing?” Violet asked looking at my phone.

“They should be preparing lunch and they haven’t had any deliveries,” I sighed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll see to it,” Violet smiled, clicking on her contacts list and heading towards the canteen. I followed behind, because I felt that I should be doing something, even if I didn’t know what.

“Buttercup, how’s the garden growing?” Violet asked.

“Great,” came the reply. “Couldn’t be better, we have veg coming out of our ears.”

“Enough to feed everyone this lunch time?” asked Violet.

“And more,” came the reply.

“When can you get them to the canteen by?” asked Violet.

“All we have to do is pick them up,” said Buttercup. “We can get the first load to you in five minutes, if the canteen staff are prepared to help, the rest wont be far behind.”

“That’s great,” said Violet. “Start them coming,” she added as we walked into the canteen. “You have a problem,” Violet said to Maud, the lady in charge.

“Lunch is in two hours time and we have no food,” Maud replied.

“I have a solution,” said Violet stepping to one side as the first of the veg arrived.

“Good,” said Maud. “My people can deal with this whilst we find out what caused this problem.”

“Or who,” I said.

“You think it was Enid as well?” asked Maud.

“Who else?” I asked.

“The first day and she’s doing this,” said Violet. “Do you still think I am the right person for the job.”

“You’ve had an answer for everything she’s thrown at you,” I replied. “I couldn’t think of anyone better.”

by Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 46

“It’s been four days,” said Violet when I came back to the office after doing a quick round to make sure everything was running smoothly. They were all smiles and I had been assured by everyone that they’d let me know if there where any problems.

“What has?” I asked raking my brain to remember what she was talking about.

“Enid said that she would come up with a name for the new Head of the Fairy Godmothers by the end of the week, that was on Monday. It’s been four days and she hasn’t said anything,” Violet said looking intently at me.

“I’ll give her a ring and remind her,” I said, picking up my mobile phone and ringing her.

“Can’t this wait,” Enid snapped. “I’m in the middle of a council meeting.”

“You promised a name by the end of the week,” I said.

“I know,” Enid snapped.

“And the week is coming to a close,” I reminded her.

“I’ll give it a bit of thought and if I come up with something I’ll let you know on Monday,” said Enid.

“Not good enough,” Violet said, she was standing close enough to hear what Enid said.

“Who was that, I thought I heard someone else talking,” Enid said to me, followed by, “I’m on the telephone talking about something important, could you at least give me a minute to deal with it.”

“I agree with Violet,” I said, Violet smiled at the name check. “That is not good enough.”

“I don’t see why not,” said Enid. “Whatever gets decided now, nothing is going to happen till Monday, so why not think about it over the weekend and come up with a well thought out cause of action, on Monday.

“That creates delay, Monday will become Tuesday, which will become Wednesday, then Thursday, Friday and then the next week,” said Violet. “It is better to make a choice now and then it is like pushing a snowball down a hill.”

“I’ve never seen becoming the Head of the Fairy Godmothers as being anything like pushing a snowball down a hill,” said Enid.

“You know what Violet means, so don’t pull that sort of stunt,” I replied.

“You’re still there,” said Enid. “I thought I was talking to Violet.”

“We need a name, we need someone to be nominated as Head of the Fairy Godmother department and we need it now,” I told Enid. Violet smiled broadly.

“I need time to think this through,” said Enid. “Are you sure you don’t want the job, you’d hit the ground running, so to speak. You know the ropes and you know where everything is, how everything runs.”

“If I wanted the job, I’d already be doing it,” I replied.

“You are already doing it,” said Violet.

“Only on a temporary basis,” I replied. “And I put a time scale on how temporary,” I reminded Enid. “I want a name by the end of today.”

“Would that be normal end of business or when the Council finishes?” asked Enid. “Because we have a very full schedule.”

“And you are not beyond extending things till it’s too late and the day carries on over the whole of the weekend,” Violet responded.

“Such cynicism in one so young,” said Enid trying to sound shocked.

“I am 130years old,” said Violet. “And I’ve seen you do this before.”

“But I haven’t seen you call me out on it,” said Enid.

“It was my birthday last week and I’m getting tired of being sweet little Violet, pat her on the head and give her something simple to do,” Violet replied.

“Would you like to be Head of the Fairy Godmothers?” I asked.

“Yes,” said Violet. “I think I could bring some order to the role, anticipating problems before they happen by Fairy Godmothers being allocated to certain people for the whole of their lives, that way they are on hand at the first sign of trouble rather than having to turn up, like the 7^th cavalry, to save the day.”

“You were talking about a month to work with the new Head whilst she got used to the job?” asked Enid.

“I am prepared to extend that by a couple of weeks, should it seem necessary,” I replied.

“It will not be necessary,” said Violet. “I have studded this job for several years and I have a lot of ideas on how it could be done better.”

“I think you have a new Head,” I said.

“The day has not yet ended,” said Enid.

“You have till midnight to suggest an alternative,” I replied.

“What if I come up with one?” asked Enid.

“Then we will run them in tandem and see who does the better job,” I replied.

“OK,” said Enid and hung up.

“Do you think she will come up with anyone?” asked Violet.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Though I can’t think of anyone else who would want to do it.”

“I see it as a challenge, getting the best out of such a variety of people, fitting each job to the one most likely to bring about the right conclusion,” said Violet sounding more animated than I had ever heard her.

“As far as I’m concerned, you’ve got the job,” I smiled, just glad that I could see an end to all this time in the office and the chance of another job, which hopefully I could do by myself.

Midnight was striking when Enid turned up with Ivy.

“I think Ivy would make a great Head of the Fairy Godmothers,” said Enid, pushing they young Fairy Godmother forward.

“It’s late,” she said looking around her, a little uncertain. “I should be back at the dormitory checking up on the cherubs.”

“Then you’d better go,” I said. “Is that the best you could do?” I asked Enid. “She obviously didn’t know why you brought her here, that is hardly fair.”

“Nothing personal,” Enid said, nodding to Violet. “But I don’t thing Violet would be any good at the job.”

“Nothing personal,” Violet replied. “But I don’t think you were any good at the job, the department has been running a lot smoother since you’ve been gone. If the Fairy Godmother wanted to be Head, I’d be more than happy to back her because she knows what she is doing. You never have and never will do or you wouldn’t have brought Ivy here. She is a good Fairy Godmother, but she has found her niche in this department looking after the cherubs, she does a very good job of it, but has no ambition to do anything more.”

“I think, if she was given a chance at the job, she could see how rewarding it can be,” said Enid.

“In other words, she didn’t want to do it,” I said quickly, I was beginning to feel as though I had to say things quickly just to get them in there at all.

“She would have grown into it,” Enid admitted.

“I will grow into the job, with the Fairy Godmothers support,” said Violet.

“I think you will, too,” I replied. “And as you haven’t brought anyone here as an alternative, I say that Violet has the job.”

“As a probationary for one month,” Enid agreed grudgingly.

“Is this one calender month or one lunar month?” asked Violet.

“Does it make a difference?” asked Enid.

“Of course it does,” I sighed.

“We will go for one calender month, but the trial can be stopped at any point if I think that the candidate is failing,” said Enid.

“Is that OK?” I asked Violet.

“Fine by me,” Violet replied. “I see no problems.”

“OK,” I replied, not as sure of things as Violet.

“We will see about that,” smiled Enid, vanishing just like the Cheshire cat, there was something about her smile that unsettled me.

“Best get a good nights sleep,” I told Violet. “I have my suspicions that tomorrow will by busy.”

by Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 45

“Ethel?” I asked as soon as I got back in the office. Everyone pointed to her desk where a group of monitors was failing to hide her.

“Ethel,” I repeated, sitting down next to her.

“I’m a total failure, I stuffed up royally,” she started to say.

“The day passed without incident, well, apart from the babies throwing up on the Christening robes, but a quick wave of the wand sorted that,” I smiled. “It’s a shame you weren’t there, the Princess was asking after you. She wants to get on top of all this computer stuff.”

“I’m sure you could do that better than me,” Ethel sniffed and pressed her nose so close to the keyboard that I worried about it getting gummed up with the stuff dripping from the end of it.

“I doubt that,” I smiled. “I know who I go to when my computer does something I didn’t mean for it to do and I think that is the one who is best giving instruction to the whole of the court on computers and how to make the most of them.”

“Then go to them,” Ethel sniffed.

“I have done,” I smiled.

“So where are they?” Ethel asked.

“They are you,” I said. “Who did I ask to set up an e-mail address and tell me how to use it?”

“But I made a complete mess of things,” said Ethel.

“No you didn’t, my e-mail is running perfectly well,” I said.

“I messed up with the Christening,” said Ethel. “You had to sort out the invitations.”

“The King didn’t understand what you were talking about, we were on a tight deadline and he had a bit of a melt down. He is used to being in command and knowing what’s what, being face with something he had no understanding about wasn’t easy,” I explained.

“I should’ve known that,” Ethel sobbed.

“You have grown-up with computers, they have always been around for you,” I said. “It is hard for you to put yourself in the mind of someone who doesn’t even understand what electricity is, let alone what a computer is.”

“I should have understood,” said Ethel. “I should have had more patience. This is all my fault.”

“I should have stepped in before that happened,” I replied.

“If you had, I wouldn’t have learned,” said Ethel.

“The bottom line is, the Christening went well and the family want someone to bring them up to date on computers, them and the rest of the court,” I said.

“That is going to take forever,” said Ethel.

“I don’t think so,” I smiled. “You just have to understand what level they are starting from and what level they want to get to and find a way to do it.”

“You make it sound so simple,” Ethel sighed.

“It isn’t as if you wont have us here to support you,” said Enid. I do wish she wouldn’t keep appearing like that.

“If it’s what you want me to do,” Ethel told Enid.

“I can’t think of a job that you would be more suited to,” I said, not that anyone noticed, when Enid appears I seem to disappear.

“You wont be gone forever,” Enid told her. “And I’ll be dropping in from time to time to see how you are doing.”

“Good,” said Ethel smiling. “When do they want me?”

“Now,” Enid smiled. “You know how humans are, half an hour is a long wait.”

“But I need to pack, don’t I?” Ethel asked. Enid waved her wand and a bag appeared next to her.

“Is that everything?” I asked.

“Just need my laptop,” said Ethel picking it up.

“Wont you need a power supply?” I asked.

“They don’t have electricity, yet,” said Enid. “Even I know that a power supply needs a mains socket.

“So what’s she going to do when the battery goes flat?” I asked Enid.

“Fairy batteries don’t go flat,” said Ethel. “Didn’t you know that!”

“My battery,” I stopped, I couldn’t remember when I last put it on charge, but I had put it on charge, I think.

“Don’t worry about it,” Enid said waving her wand, she and Ethel vanished and I was left wondering.

I had done the rounds of the department, making sure everything was running as it aught to before Enid got back to the office.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be Head of Department?” asked Enid. “You are doing a great job of keeping things running smoothly.”

“Only till you find someone permanent for the job,” I said. “Don’t for one moment think I will do this for long.”

“Is there a time scale?” asked Enid.

“Yes, there is, you need to have someone chosen by the end of the week and I’ll help them get used to the job for a further month, after that they should be able to cope,” I said.

“What if I haven’t come up with a name?” Enid asked.

“Then I will pick someone,” I said.

“But,” Enid paused.

“The department has had enough confusion, it needs stability to get on with the work, I would be irresponsible as temporary Head not to see that and set about solving it,” I replied, looking at Ethel’s desk.

“If you touch one thing on that, you will catch all hell from her when she gets back,” said Enid.

“I shall put it in a bubble, we don’t want it accumulating dust,” I replied.

“Nor do we want people taking things from it,” said Enid, returning Ethel’s pen from someone’s desk.

“For someone who never said a great deal, she is going to be missed,” I said.

“Are you sure you don’t want the job?” asked Enid.

“Yes,” I said. “I don’t want to be stuck in here day in day out for the rest of my life.”

“OK, just asking,” Enid sighed. “I shall give it some thought.”

“You better had,” I replied as she disappeared.

“What will you do if she doesn’t come up with a name?” asked a small voice beside me.

“Violet, I didn’t see you there,” I said jumping.

“No body ever does,” sighed Violet. “But you haven’t answered my question, what will you do if she doesn’t come up with a name by the end of the week?”

“I shall start reminding her and if she doesn’t take the hint, then I shall start asking her advice on problems, things that I don’t know how to solve,” I said.

“What if we don’t have any major problems?” Violet asked.

“We will,” I smiled.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” Violet asked.

“There will be,” I replied. “I don’t know what, but I’m sure there will be something. I hope I can rely on your discretion?”

“Of course,” smiled Violet. “This is for the greater good of the Department after all.”

“Of course,” I assured her.

By Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 44

So, the invitations were well received. Ethel kept an eye on the internet to make sure there wasn’t anyone annoyed with not getting an one. The day dawned bright and sunny, Enid and I went to check up on how things were progressing.

“I do think you could have made a bit of an effort with your dress,” Enid said as she waved her wand and we arrived at the castle.

“I went out and bought this outfit especially for the occasion,” I said.

“And it looks perfect,” said the Princess, smiling at me, her face fell slightly when she noticed what Enid was wearing and then dropped completely when both babies threw up down their christening robes.

“My wife has been explaining about the change in fashion,” said the King, looking somewhat flustered. “And going by what she has explained, you are in the height of fashion.”

“There,” I smiled at Enid. “Royal approval.”

“Can you do anything with those two?” the King asked his daughter. She glanced in my direction, whilst trying to mop both her sons. I waved my wand and their last meal was no longer there, the robes were pristine.

“I wish I could have one of those,” the Princess sighed.

“I’m still not used to this sort of thing,” the King sighed. “But I am trying, as with the fashions,” he said nodding to Enid. “My heart says that that gown is perfect for a Christening but I know that the Fairy Godmother’s apparel will fit in more with what all the others will be wearing. Anyway, I came here for a progress report, now I’d better pass it on to the Queen.”

“Why didn’t you say something about my dress,” Enid snapped.

“You were too busy criticising what I was wearing,” I replied.

“Does it matter?” asked the Princess. “We need to find some thing else for you to wear and quickly.”

“Yes,” said Enid. I waved my wand and changed the style to something a little more en-trend.

“That will be perfect,” said the Princess. “The blue of the hat really accentuates the colour of your eyes, makes them so much more animated.”

“Are you sure this is alright?” asked Enid looking at her feet, ankles and the lower half of her legs, probably the first time they’d seen daylight in years.

“You have very good legs,” the Princess assured her. “You should show them off more,” she added as a servant walked in.

“They are ready to start the Christening,” he smiled.

“Then we had better go,” said the Princess. “Can’t keep everyone waiting.”

“That didn’t used to be a problem,” Enid whispered.

“Good luck,” I said. “Not that you’ll need it, of course.”

“Even the best prepared could do with a bit of luck,” smiled the Princess.

Three hours later, as we waved good-bye to the last of the guests the Princess heaved a great sigh of relief.

“So glad it has gone off well,” she sighed.

“I can see one of the advantages of these modern does,” said the King.

“What’s that?” asked the Princess, turning the pram around in readiness for there return into the castle.

“You don’t have to entertain the guest for quite so long,” he replied.

“We had some guests for over a week before your Christening,” said the Queen. “It was really quite draining, all that advice about child care from women who wouldn’t know which end of the baby to put a nappy on, let alone how to do it.”

“Did you change my nappy?” asked the Princess.

“I intended to, but everyone around me kept saying that was the job of the wet nurse and the nanny,” sighed the Queen.

“I don’t remember you wanting to do anything,” said the King, the Queen cuffed him on the back of the head.

“Like you’d know,” she said.

“All I remember is you telling the wet nurse to take it away,” said King.

“Mum!” said the Princess.

“They were different times,” said the Queen. “It was the way we were brought up, we were expected to be the companion of the ruler, not a child minder.”

“So was I,” said the Princess. “But, somehow, when they were born and handed to me, they were so precious, I didn’t want to entrust their care to anyone else,” she added gazing at them. “Anyway, it’s time for you two to have a feed.”

“I really think you could let us organise a wet nurse,” said the King.

“It was good enough for me,” said her Mother.

“But it isn’t for me,” said the Princess.

“I don’t think we should get involved in this,” said Enid.

“I think it’s time we left,” I told the King. “Enid has Council things to deal with, I have a report to write, you know how to contact us should you need to.”

“Thank-you,” said the King. “I think I need to talk to the gardeners about something.”

“The bio-digester,” I suggested.

“That was it,” said the King. “I was wondering how long it would take to get through all the ivy, it is nice seeing the stone work again, though I was surprised to see that the stuff had actually grown into the stone, the stone masons have their work cut out for them.”

“We’ll leave you to it,” I smiled, waving my wand and getting us back to the office.

“I think we should have stayed to say our good-byes to the Queen and her daughter,” said Enid.

“I think if we had done, we’d have ended up in the middle of a row,” I replied. “We don’t want the day to end badly.”

“I shall bow to your judgement on that one,” said Enid. “Since my judgement was so far out.”

“I think you were taking your fashion hints from the wrong generation,” I said. “The Queen is getting the hang of things, but the King is still living in the past with regards to clothes.”

“That is why I think you would make a great Head of department,” said Enid.

“Not doing it,” I replied.

“Can you give me one good reason why not?” asked Enid.

“Because there is too much admin and not enough seeing a problem through from beginning to end,” I explained.

“You could always allocate yourself a job,” said Enid.

“It wouldn’t work,” I replied.

“I don’t see why not,” said Enid.

“Because I’d always have to be on hand to sort out anything that came up,” I replied. “You can’t concentrate on the work in hand if you could be dragged away at any point to sort out something totally different.”

“I know what you mean,” said Enid as her phone pinged to tell her there was a text waiting to be read.

“Shouldn’t you answer that?” I asked.

“It’s the Council, they want to know how much longer the Christening is going to take,” she sighed. “Something has come up!”

“Then you had better go,” I said.

“But the Head of the Fairy Godmothers,” said Enid. “It’s pretty obvious I can’t do both jobs.”

“Should go to someone who is into admin,” I said. “Not necessarily someone you would send out to sort something.”

“I see,” sighed Enid. “And Ethel?” she asked.

“I’ll go and talk to her,” I said. “This has been a bit of a set back to her, it could be that she would prefer to work in the background, doing the computer stuff, someone for the Godmothers to ask for technical support.”

“See what she says,” said Enid. “I don’t want her to be confused or frightened.”

“Of course,” I smiled as she disappeared off to the council. I would just like to know why Ethel’s state of mind is so important to her.

By Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 43

“How goes it?” I ask Ethel when I arrived back in the big hall.

“I’ve gone through the Fairy Data base and the local “Who’s Who,” and anything else I can find,” said Ethel smiling.

“And?” I asked.

“We have a full and extensive list of people to invite,” sighed the Princess.

“Have you thought about what sort of Christening you want?” I asked.

“There is only one sort of Christening possible,” said the King. “A full state Christening.”

“Normally I would agree with you,” I said. “But you have been out of circulation for a while.”

“What does that have to do with things?” the King asked stiffly.

“Firstly, the palace isn’t really in a good state to receive all the state visitors that it did have with the last Christening,” I said.

“What do you mean by that?” snapped the King.

“She means that the roof of the guest wing fell in, sometime in the last hundred years, the weather has got in and basically, the whole thing needs demolishing, the chapel isn’t it a much better state and the roof on this hall is leaking,” said the Queen.

“Are you saying that the palace isn’t up to holding it?” the King asked.

“No,” the Queen sighed.

“I suppose we could take it out side,” said the King. “There was a field that we used to hold all sorts of events on,” he added walking to the window. “I thought we could see it from here?”

“We used to be able to,” the Queen replied.

“But?” the King asked.

“There’s a wood grown up there,” said the Queen. “It would take ages to clear and then the grass would have to be sewn and it would take time for it to grow.”

“I see, nice idea, but not there?” asked the King

“There is also a problem with the livery,” said the Queen.

“What’s wrong with it?” asked the King.

“The moths got at it,” the Queen sighed.

“A hole or two isn’t important,” the King said trying to dismiss the problem.

“It wouldn’t be,” the Queen agreed. “Only it isn’t a hole or two. All the livery has been reduce to a pile of powder.”

“Oh!” said the King. “Do you mean the moths have eaten it all?”

“Every last stitch,” said the Queen. “That’s why I was thinking that a less formal event might be a good idea.”

“But,” said the King.

“They are my children,” said the Princess.

“In my day that wouldn’t have been important,” said the King.

“That day was one hundred years ago,” the Queen reminded him. “It is also why we get the Fairy Godmother here to help us.”

“It’s why I called on Enid,” said the King, looking at me.

“And she sent us because she thought that we could provide an alternative view on the event,” I said, looking out of a different window on the other side of the hall. “For a start off, this courtyard would provide a great venue, very much the Gothic look cum shabby chic.”

“Is that good?” asked the King.

“Very,” said Ethel, joining me at the window.

“A select group of people to celebrate the next generation,” I said.

“Does that mean a small guest list?” asked the Princess.

“Yes,” I said. “No great pomp.”

“What will the servants wear?” asked the Queen.

“I think we can dispense with the livery,” I said. “Smart suites, in black for the men and simple dresses also in black, for the women,” I showed them some possible styles on my smart phone.”

“That could be good,” said the Princess.

“So,” Ethel said. “We cut down the invitation list and organise for it to be videoed so that it can go on the state web site for anyone who want to to view.”

“What is video and what is a web site?” asked the King.

“You can have a web site for the country,” said Ethel. “Then you can use it as a platform to make announcements to the world.”

“Can’t I just send out an envoy?” asked the King. “You know where you are with an envoy.”

“Things don’t work that way any more,” I tried to explain.

“But it’s the way I work,” shouted the King storming out of the hall.

“That didn’t go to well,” said the Queen, following the King out of the hall.

“So what do we do now?” asked the Princess.

“That’s a good question,” said Enid, typical of her to turn up just when I thought things couldn’t get much worse.

“Deserves a good answer,” I agreed. “The fact that I don’t have one does rather prove my point, I wouldn’t be any good as the Head of the Fairy Godmothers.”

“I think I may have pushed the internet stuff a bit too much,” said Ethel. “It’s so much a part of my life, I can’t imagine anyone not understanding it.”

“He’s not the only one,” said the Princess. “This stuff is a mystery to me and everyone else here.”

“We need to back peddle on the tech stuff,” I said. “It’s one thing using it to get together the guest list, but we need to find an alternative way of sending out the invites. I’m not suggesting people in livery delivering the invitations by hand, but we need something.”

“And what abut the King?” asked Enid.

“He might listen to you,” I said. “After all he was disappointed when you didn’t come when he asked for your help.”

Enid’s phone rang.

“It’s the Council, they want to know where I am,” she said reading the text. “Which proves that I can’t do both jobs.”

“So, who’s doing what?” asked the Princess. “Are you going to talk to Dad or the Council?” she asked Enid.

“I’ll talk to your Father,” said Enid waving her wand.

“So what do we do?” the Princess asked as the babies began to cry.

“You’d better sort them out,” I said. “We’ll try and come up with a plan B,” I added looking at Ethel.

“I don’t know how to do low tech,” Ethel replied.

“Then you are just going to have to learn,” I said.

“But?” she said looking bewildered.

“Have you got a printer on that laptop?” I asked.

“I didn’t think I’d need one,” she said.

“You’ll need one to print out the guest list for a start off,” I said. “And it would be an idea to have a paper copy of the seating plan, the bigger the better.”

“It might be easier if we printed the seating plan back in the office,” said Ethel. “We have a very big printer in there.”

“Is that the thing that looks like a wide mangle?” I asked.

“That’s the thing,” said Ethel. “But, what are we going to do?”

“We design an invitation, get the who to etc. from the guest list and then when we have sorted out the when where and everything else, we can print them all off and either post them or have them© appear at the address sat on a red silk cushion.”

“I like that idea,” said the King walking back into the hall. “Is this what the internet does?”

“No,” I smiled. “It’s what a magic wand does.”

by Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 42

“What are you doing here?” Enid asked.

“Everybody’s got to be somewhere?” I replied.

“Yes and you are supposed to be with Ethel making sure she doesn’t make a complete mess of this Christening,” Enid snapped.

“She’s doing a great job of sorting out the invitations and organising the seating plan,” I replied. “She didn’t need me getting in her way.”

“So you’ve left her to it?” asked Enid.

“She knows where I am if she needs any help,” I sighed. “And not standing over her all the time is the best way I know of showing her that I have full confidence in her ability to do the job.”

“You just didn’t like being in the background,” said Enid. “Couldn’t stand not back and let someone else do the work.”

“No, that’s what I’m doing, she doesn’t need me there getting under her feet,” I replied. “Not everyone is like you.”

“And what do you mean by that?” Enid snapped.

“I’ve seen your idea of standing back,” I replied. “You leap in way before anyone asks for help.”

“Just because you didn’t know when you were out of your depth,” said Enid.

“If I’m that incompetent, how come you’ve got me watching over Ethel?” I asked.

“I didn’t say you were incompetent,” Enid replied. “It’s just, Ethel knows you, she doesn’t run a mile when you walk into the room.”

“And she does with some of the others?” I asked.

“Yes, literally,” said Enid. “How do you think she’s doing?”

“She’s doing fine,” I said. “I wouldn’t leave her to handle things by herself if I thought she was in anyway out of her depth. I know how tricky that kingdom can be.”

“Have you been there before?” asked Enid.

“I was a cherub at the last Christening,” I replied.

“I remember, there was a problem with the cherubs,” she said.

“That was why I left,” I said. “Also, it’s not the most dignified of jobs, the costume doesn’t leave much to the imagination.”

“Wasn’t that when you moved over to being a Fairy Godmother?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. “Now what did you want to talk to me about, I’m sure it wasn’t my great time as a cherub that has suddenly become of interest.”

“The Fairy Council were looking for me to suggest a replacement as Head of the Fairy Godmothers,” said Enid.

“Elderflower would do a good job,” I said. “She’s very good at organisation.”

“She’s got no imagination,” said Enid.

“That’s why she’s good at organisation,” I said. “And a Head of Department needs to be good at organisation.”

“The Department would stagnate under her,” said Enid.

“Wallflower, is good at,” I paused for a moment.

“Exactly, at what?” said Enid. “She was well named, she is a wall flower and has a tendency to sit in the corner and stay unobtrusive. There is no way she’ fight for the department in the council meetings.”

“Why should she, you’re there,” I replied.

“But I have to be impartial,” she said. “I can’t just run the council in the interests of the Fairy Godmothers.”

“When you are here, you are the Head of the Fairy Godmothers,” I said. “When you are in the Council you are Head of the Fairy Council, unless you are putting something forward for the Fairy Godmothers, in which case you are Head of the Fairy Godmothers. Simple really.”

“Sounds simple, till you are in the council room and they are asking you which hat you are wearing,” Enid sighed.

“Well, wear a different hat when you are representing the Fairy Godmothers and stand on the other side of the table,” I suggested.

“And what good would that do?” she asked.

“Even the thickest of them would know who you were representing,” I replied.

“I’ll think about it,” she said. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to be head of the Fairy Godmothers?”

“Absolutely certain,” I said. “Anyway, making me head would put out quite a lot of people, Wallflower and Elderflower would be the least of your worries.”

“I don’t know how you managed to upset so many people,” sighed Enid.

“Don’t you?” I asked. “I know I’ve never been one of your favourites.”

“Then I got to know you and appreciate your,” she paused. “I had a word there, but it’s gone. Safe to say that I appreciate your methods now that I have seen them working at close quarters. They aren’t as mad as I thought they were.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“It’s why I thought you’d bring a breath of fresh air into the running of the department,” she added.

“Sorry, you can’t butter me up,” I said. “You’ll have to think of something better than that if you want me to take on the job.”

“Can’t blame me for trying,” said Enid.

“So, what do you want me to do?” I asked.

“Well, whilst you are waiting for Ethel to contact you,” Enid started.

“I don’t expect her to need any help,” I replied.

“Whilst you are doing that, I was wondering if you could give them a hand with the laundry,” she added, looking like she had a quick exit lined up in case she didn’t like my reply.

“What’s wrong at the laundry, I mean, Maude has it running like a humming top, it couldn’t go better,” I replied.

“She’s off sick,” said Enid. “And it doesn’t look like she’s going back any time soon.”

“She hasn’t died, has she!” I asked cautiously.

“Not as far as I know, but the Doctor does say she wont be going back, not this century at any rate,” Enid sighed.

“You want me to run the laundry?” I asked.

“You’re good at that sort of thing,” Enid smiled and I got the impression that she was trying to sell the job to me.

“No way am I going to spend my time chasing round laundry that someone couldn’t be bothered to label properly,” I told her.

“See, you know the problems already,” said Enid. “I’m sure you’d soon get on top of them.”

“The laundry,” said Wallflower, wandering into the room slowly. I have never seen her dash about anything.

“It needs someone to sort things out,” said Enid vaguely.

“I like it down there,” said Wallflower. “So peaceful.”

“With all that machinery?” Enid and I asked together.

“It’s all part of the flow of things,” said Wallflower, getting really rather dreamy about the whole subject.

“Perhaps Wallflower is the one for the job,” I whispered to Enid.

“Yes,” said Enid, smiling at Wallflower. “Would you mind going down to the laundry to sort out things, we don’t want Maude going back to chaos.”

“Will she be going back soon?” asked Wallflower.

“Really don’t know about that,” said Enid. “She is off for the foreseeable, but you never know.”

“I see,” said Wallflower. “I’d better get on with it, the last lot of washing I got back wasn’t up to her usual standard. I know she’d be upset if she saw what they are sending out.”

“Thank-you,” said Enid and Wallflower headed off with more purpose in her step than I’d ever seen.

“I wouldn’t have thought of her for that job,” said Enid.

“Wallflower knows the results she expects from the laundry,” I said.

“So, you thought she’d be good for the job,” Enid smiled.

“That doesn’t mean I would be any good as Head of Department,” I replied.

“You should think about it,” Enid smiled.

“I shall go and check up on Ethel,” I said waving my wand, I don’t know know if that was her intention or if she really thought that I should be Head of the Fairy Godmothers, but somewhere other than the office seemed like a good place to be.

By Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 41

“Ethel had her report on the table and ready for me when I came in here this morning,” said Enid as I put my report on her table. “I’ve nearly finished reading it,” she added. “And a very well written report it is too.”

“Ethel works in here,” I replied. “So she could put the report on your desk as soon as it was written. And my report is ready for you to read as soon as you finish that one.”

“It better be good,” said Enid, closing Ethel’s report and opening mine. “You have a high standard to reach.”

I sat down on the other side of her desk and waited.

“You know I don’t like being watched whilst I am working,” said Enid after five minutes.

“Yes, but I’ve checked my pigeon hole and there’s nothing in it,” I smiled. “So I thought I’d best be on hand to offer any explanations or comments if the report is less than clear.”

“I think your report is perfectly clear,” said Enid.

“That’s nice to know,” I said. “But I wouldn’t like to leave before you’ve finished it.”

“There’s an envelope in your pigeon hole,” said Ethel.

“And one in yours,” I said, looking at Enid.

“I didn’t do anything,” she said failing to look innocent.

“I know you did,” I smiled, taking down the envelope, Ethel had beaten me to it and was busy ripping hers open to find out what was in store.

I know this has nothing to do with computers, but I think it requires a logical approach, which I believe is what is needed with computers.

There is a kingdom, the one with sleeping beauty, well, she woke up when she gave birth to twins sons. That was about six months ago, they are planning the Christening and they don’t want to make the same mistakes as last time, nor do they want to mess up with the seating arrangements. Put the wrong people next to each other and you could have a war on your hands.

The Fairy Godmother will be good at flannelling people whilst you sort out the guest list and seating plan.

Shouldn’t take long. Good luck. Enid.

“Goodie,” said Ethel clapping her hands together.

The Kingdom of the sleeping beauty, it has been decided to Christen her sons, they’ve been putting it off because that’s where they went wrong last time. So we need to make sure that they invite everyone they need to to the Christening, not missing anyone out. Also, they need a seating plan which wont end up with anyone going to war with anyone else. Ethel can sort things out whilst you reassure everyone that it will all go well.

Good luck, you’ll need it. Enid.

“Thanks,” I smiled, lifting my wand.

“Remember the red instructions from last time,” she hissed as we began to disappear.

“What was Enid saying?” asked Ethel as we found ourself in a great hall.

“It’s a good question,” I said. “She’s always making last minute comments, they don’t usually make much sense.”

“Did Enid send you?” asked an extremely flustered court official dashing across the room towards us.

“If you mean the Head of the Fairy Godmothers and now the Head of the Fairy Council,” I said. “Then yes, she has sent us to help you.”

“Promotion?” he asked.

“Not exactly,” I smiled. “There was chaos after the departure of the last Head of the Fairy Council. Enid was told it would continue until she agreed to take on the job.”

“No one wanted to be Head of the Fairy Council?” he asked.

“I think it’s one of those jobs, everyone thinks they can do all sorts and when they take it on, they find out how little they can do,” I smiled. “Only thing was Enid knew this before hand, which is why she didn’t want the job.”

“But the twisted her arm,” said the court official.

“Does this mean Enid wont come to help us?” asked the King who had just dashed over to see what was going on.

“I can ring her at any time to run ideas past her and check up on guest lists,” I said. “But the idea is that we sort out the plan and she says if it’s a goer.”

“Wouldn’t it be simpler if she came?” the King asked.

“If she comes,” said Ethel. “The Council will be constantly interrupting her asking her questions about something or other, which is a recipe for nothing getting done well and in this case, for missing someone off the list.”

“The gardeners have managed to get the ivy off the south tower and they want to know what to do with it,” said someone who had just dashed in.

“I know what you mean,” said the King, looking a bit bemused.

“I would suggest a bio-digester,” said Ethel.

“What?” asked the King.

“It would digest the ivy and can be used to produce electricity,” Ethel explained.

“What’s electricity?” asked the King.

“I think if we concentrate on arranging the Christening, we can sort out the bio-digester later,” I said.

“So,” Ethel continued. “If we sketch out a plan, Enid can check it out to see if we’ve forgotten anything. And we can run it through our data base to see if anyone has been missed out.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said the Royal Princess, pushing a double pram into the hall.

“I do wish you wouldn’t keep pushing them around like that,” said the King looking worried. “We have servants who could look after them.”

“I don’t see why they should be given to someone else to look after,” said the Princess gazing over the handle. “I did all that hard work bringing them into the world, I’m not going to miss out on the fun part of it all.”

“I just wish we knew who the Father is,” said the King shaking his head.

“If I knew I’d tell you,” said the Princess. “But he didn’t have the manners to wake me up. The first thing I knew about it, I was giving birth, not the best of wake-up calls. It would’ve been nice if someone had explained something about that beforehand.”

“I didn’t think it was necessary, not before you were married,” said the King, looking somewhat sheepish.

“It would have been nice to know what the hell was going on,” she said.

“I wish you wouldn’t use language like that,” the King said wincing slightly.

“I could use much worse language,” she said.

“I’m sure you could,” the King sighed. “And I’m sure it would be very justified, I’d just rather not hear you say it.”

“So, the question is who to invite,” I said with the hope of focussing attention on the job in hand.

“Normally I would suggest starting with the guest list from my daughter’s Christening,” said the King. “But we’ve been out of circulation for a bit since then and we are only just beginning to get on top of the changes.”

“What do you mean?” asked Ethel.

“Normally I would have invited my good friends from the kingdom adjoining us,” the King sighed. “But two of them are ruled by the grandson’s of the Kings I knew, one is ruled by a distant niece whose Mother didn’t get on at all well with my old friend and three of them are republics, I hate to think what they did to the monarchs they got rid of. Then again, one of them, I could quite understand them wanting to get rid of him, I tried telling him that he wasn’t treating his people right but, he just said they were only peasants so it didn’t matter.”

“All people matter,” said the Princess.

“I agree,” said the King. “Any way, we don’t have to worry about him, he’s history.”

“We need to make sure that any Fairy who thinks they should be invited has been,” said Ethel.

“And any leader of any neighbouring country has an invitation,” I added.

“Even the republics?” asked the King.

“Yes,” I said. “If they don’t like it, they don’t have to come, but the onus is for them to think of a reason. You have fulfilled your part of etiquette by sending out the invitations. It doesn’t matter if you send out more than will come as long as you don’t miss anyone out.”

“Or at least not anyone who can cast a spell on anything,” the Princess agreed. “I don’t want anything hanging over my kids. The last one destroyed the home spinning industry.”

“Things have changed so much,” sighed the King. “Before all this happened you wouldn’t have worried about the home spinning industry, I don’t think you knew anything about spinning.”

“That’s because you outlawed spinning wheels,” she replied.

“I was trying to protect you,” the King replied.

“You don’t solve a problem by hiding from it,” the Princess replied.

“So what do we do?” asked the King.

“Check our data base, make out a list, send out the invitations and wait,” she said.

“We could create a web site for people who are interested in attending,” said Ethel.

“What’s that and what would it do?” asked the King.

“Well,” said Ethel. “Anyone who thinks they should have been invited can go on the web site and register their interest and we can send them an invitation if we think they should get one.”

“Sounds like a good safety net,” said the Princess.

“Let’s get going,” I replied.

By Janice Nye © 2020