“And now we sit back and admire my beautiful babies,” whispered James as the babies finally went to sleep in their cots.
“No,” smiled Velvet. “Now you clean up the mess.”
“What mess?” asked James, looking round the room. “Ah! That mess!”
“When you change a nappy, you can’t just leave it on the floor,” said Velvet, picking up the nearest one. The carpet was no longer white underneath it.
“I hadn’t thought about that,” said James, as Myrtle walked out of the bedroom.
“You were supposed to be having a good long sleep,” Velvet reminded her.
“A bit difficult with all the noise,” Myrtle yawned, her eyes going to the carpet.
“It isn’t what you think it is,” said James quickly.
“He’s just about to clean it up,” said Velvet. “And I was just going to take a few things things to the laundry with me.”
“I don’t suppose you have anything that he could clean that up with?” asked Myrtle.
“It’s OK, I can sort it,” said James, looking round for the dusters.
“I’ll send something over as soon as I get this stuff to the laundry,” said Velvet gathering up the nappies and several changes of baby clothes.
“I’ll wand you there,” said Myrtle, picking up her wand.
“I don’t suppose you could,” asked James looking at the stain on the carpet.
“There are those who would say I’ve overstepped things sending the laundry,” said Myrtle.
“It’s just rather difficult,” said James. “Especially with two.”
“The dusters are in that cupboard,” said Myrtle pointing to a door which opened obediently just as a container of cleaner appeared next to the stain.
“I’ll get on with it,” said James.
“It shouldn’t take long,” said Myrtle. “If you follow the instructions.”
“I always follow the instructions,” said James, quickly reading them after he’d sprayed the carpet with it and before he’d got the dusters.
“I’ll go and make us a cup of tea, that is if you want one,” said Myrtle, heading for the kitchen. “This was clean when I went to bed?” she said looking round at sink piled high with dishes and cups, with packets and tins on all the surfaces.
“We got some shopping delivered,” he said. “I wasn’t sure where everything went.”
“Did you at least put the frozen stuff in the freezer and the the chilled in the fridge?” asked Myrtle, checking to see.
“Velvet helped with that,” said James.
“Looks like we are having pizza for tea,” said Myrtle.
“Why?” he asked.
“These ones should have gone in the freezer, not the fridge,” said Myrtle.
“But,” said James. “I was convinced they went in the fridge.”
“And what did Velvet say?” asked Myrtle.
“That they should go in the freezer,” James admitted.
“She was right,” said Myrtle. “But it wont matter if we eat them tonight.”
“I was thinking of taking you out somewhere,” said James.
“I’m still tired, and you must be too, you’ve spent most of the morning trying to get these two off to sleep,” said Myrtle.
“The lads said it would be good to have a night out,” said James.
“A night out with the boys, hardly something I’d be welcome at,” said Myrtle.
“They wouldn’t mind you tagging along,” said James.
“I don’t do, being tolerated and tagging along,” said Myrtle. “However, if you want a night out with the boys.”
“I just thought, you could do with a change and Enid would baby sit,” said James, his words petering out as Myrtle looked at him.
“Enid is probably looking up which end of the baby you put a nappy on,” said Myrtle. “She was talking of helping after you have finished you paternity leave, so I wouldn’t look to her as a baby sitter till then.
“I’ll put the boys off till later,” said James.
“I think that would be a good idea,” said Myrtle. “I also think we need to talk things through.”
“What do you mean?” asked James.
“You need to work out how to look after the twins whilst keeping the place reasonably tidy,” sighed Myrtle. “I shouldn’t be expected to clean up after you.”
“At least I got them to sleep,” said James.
“It would have been easier to sort out if you’d left the tins in the bags,” said Myrtle. “That way it is easier to take them to the cupboard.”
“I didn’t know,” snapped James.
“You will do next time,” said Myrtle, opening the cupboard door and moving the tins over. James walked into the living room and threw himself down on the sofa. “It would be quicker if you helped,” said Myrtle.
“It would be a lot quicker if you just waved your wand,” shouted James.
“You know the Council aren’t happy about the excessive use of the wand, they would not see this as a good reason,” said Myrtle, as first one and then the other baby started crying.
“You can sort them this time, I’m going out,” shouted James. The flat door slammed shut as Myrtle walked back into the living room.
“That went well,” sighed Myrtle leaning over the babies. A quick sniff told her that it was nappy time again.
It was nearly midnight when James came back.
“Looks like you’ve done a perfectly good job without me,” he said to Myrtle, sitting on the sofa listening out for the babies. “The babies aren’t crying and I didn’t trip up over any nappies on the way in.”
“You don’t have to shout, I’m not deaf and neither are the twins,” said Myrtle.
“I agree with you about the twins,” said James. “But, sleeping through the racket they made this morning, like you did, I wouldn’t be so sure about your hearing.”
“We could have a row, if that is what you want, or we could try and learn from today,” said Myrtle.
“That’s right, talk it through like adults,” said James. “That’s how you solve all your problems. Thing is, I’m tired and I feel like I’m useless and I don’t want to talk things through like a grown up, I just want to get some sleep.”
“You know where the bed is,” said Myrtle.
“And when will you be coming to bed,” asked James as the babies started to yell.
“Good question,” said Myrtle. “I’ll let you know when I have an answer.”
“You’ve got what you wanted,” he shouted. “I suppose I’m out on my ear now.”
“Whatever gave you that idea,” shouted Myrtle.
“Enid,” said James. “She said you wouldn’t have any use for me once the babies were born.”
“This is the first time you have listened to her,” said Myrtle.
“Fairies are all the same,” shouted James. “You aren’t any different to any of the others.”
“We will talk this through in the morning, when you have rested,” said Myrtle. “In the meantime I would appreciate it if you stopped shouting.”
“Don’t worry, I know when I’m not wanted,” shouted James, storming out of the flat.
“Brilliant!” thought Myrtle. “I can’t chase after him, I’ve got the babies to look after.”
“I’d offer to look after them, but I know you don’t rate my childcare abilities,” said Enid.
“Have you worked out which end the nappy goes on?” asked Myrtle.
“It’s not really an end though, is it,” said Enid. “It’s more just below the middle.”
“Is this you saying that you aren’t as hopeless with babies as you’ve lead everyone to believe all these years?” asked Myrtle.
“If you mean, do I know how to change a nappy. Of course I do, I just find it easier to hand the baby over to someone else,” said Enid. “If you hold the baby by the ankles and lift the little bottom off the mucky nappy, it’s hard for said baby to struggle.”
“Thanks Mum,” said Myrtle.
“Also, the nappy changing is best done quickly, have everything to hand before you start,” said Enid bringing over the changing bag. “These bags are very useful, if you keep them stocked, then everything is on hand.”
“Thanks Mum,” said Myrtle, finishing the first nappy change.
“If I do the other,” said Enid. “Perhaps you will believe me.”
“OK,” said Myrtle, sitting back and watching her so the quickest nappy change she’d ever seen, without a wand.
“Now,” said Enid. “You feed them and then I’ll look after them whilst you go and find that Father of theirs.”
“What am I going to say to him?” asked Myrtle.
“That’s the fist time you’ve ever asked my advice,” said Enid.
“You were never around when I needed it,” said Myrtle.
“I think it was more that you never needed any,” said Enid.
“So, what do I say?” Myrtle asked.
“First you need to work out what you want of him,” said Enid.
“I want him here, helping me with our children,” said Myrtle.
“Then tell him that,” said Enid as the two babies dropped off to sleep and they managed to get them into their cots without waking them. “Don’t you think they would be better in the same cot?” she asked. “They’ve spent so long together, it can’t be easy or them to be apart.”
“There is room,” said Myrtle, moving the daughter over.
“When are you going to give them names?” asked Enid.
“Haven’t come up with any ideas yet,” said Myrtle.
“Go and ask James,” said Enid. “He might have some thoughts on the matter. They don’t have to be flowers, I wasn’t.”
By Janice Nye © 2021
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