“What are you doing here?” asked Velvet, supervising a new girl pegging out the washing. “You need to straighten it out more,” she told the girl. “It’ll never dry like that and it’ll be murder to get all those creases out.”
“Who cares?” she asked sulkily.
“I care and you will if you have to iron it,” Velvet replied.
“I wont be doing ironing for another month,” the girl replied.
“By which time someone else will be pegging the washing out and you will have to iron out the creases they create,” Velvet replied. “At the moment though, those doing the ironing may not be so happy about the amount of creases that will be in that, if you don’t straighten it.” The girl straightened the sheet and made a better job of the next one and then went back for the next load of washing.
“So what brings you here?” Velvet asked me again.
“I went to see Malcolm,” I said.
“Had Natasha come back?” Velvet asked.
“Yes, only Malcolm wasn’t alone,” I sighed. “Is this my fault?”
“Of course not,” Velvet laughed. “He’s like that every time she goes off on a job.”
“But,” I started and then stopped.
“You tried to help, which is good of you,” Velvet smiled. “You just didn’t know what he was like.”
“Neither did Mum,” I said.
“It’s not the sort of thing that Natasha would want her daughters to know about,” Velvet smiled.
“She couldn’t exactly hide it today,” I laughed. “The lady concerned was running out of the house, trying to get dressed and dodge all the things Natasha was hurling in her direction.”
“Did she succeed?” Velvet asked.
“I don’t think so, the last thing definitely sounded like it made contact,” I replied.
“Was there a screech?” asked Velvet.
“Yes,” I replied. “Quite a long one.”
“Couldn’t have been that bad then,” said Velvet. “It’s when you hear the thump and then there’s silence that you need to worry. She knocked one girl out cold.”
“I just don’t understand them,” I said shaking my head.
“What did you do this time?” Velvet asked.
“I found her an apprentice,” I said. “How did you know that I did something?”
“You always do,” said Velvet. “You are a fixer, give you a problem and you will always try to come up with a solution.”
“So why can’t I solve me!” I asked.
“Well, the obvious reply to that is that you are too close to the problem,” said Velvet. “The other is that, I don’t think you have worked out what the problem is.”
“It’s a bit difficult to do that when you hardly get time to catch your breath,” I snapped.
“Have you tried taking a holiday?” asked Velvet.
“Yes,” I sighed. “I thought of the ideal location, some people I had helped were going to revive a tropical holiday resort, sun, sea and sand, you get the picture.”
“But?” Velvet asked.
“Some other people wanted to use it for something else and they were trying to harass them out of the place, hence it would by like taking a cruse on the Mary Celeste,” I replied. “Added to that, Enid followed me there!”
“Well, I should think that’s sorted, thanks to you,” said Velvet. “You could always go back.”
“It wouldn’t be quite the same,” I sighed. “They’d be giving me progress reports or asking my advice on things.”
“Not exactly restful,” Velvet agreed. “But surely there is somewhere else you could go?”
“This was my third guess as to where you would be,” said Enid appearing next to the washing line. “Someone missed something there,” she said pointing to the sheet that the new girl had spent ages straightening.
“Elsa,” said Velvet, the girl came scurrying out. “This sheet needs washing again.”
“Why?” asked Elsa.
“There is dirt here,” said Velvet.
“There isn’t much,” Elsa said. “It’s still fairly damp, I could give it a quick scrub on the line, no one would see.”
“You shock me!” Velvet replied. “This laundry has a very good reputation which would be lost if anyone herd you say that, let alone did it!”
“You will be on hand washing nappies for the next month,” Velvet replied.
“Oh, but!” Elsa exclaimed.
“One more word and you will be on them for two months,” said Velvet. “Go this very instance and take this sheet with you.”
“That was rather hard, wasn’t it?” I asked.
“She’s been winding me up from the moment that she got here,” said Velvet.
“I find it hard to imagine anyone being able to wind you up,” said Enid. “Me, it’s a doddle and I’ll admit to it, but you, I’ve never seen you so angry what’s wrong?”
“Nothing you can help me with,” she snapped and walked back into the laundry.
“Well!” said Enid. “Perhaps you can sort this out,” she said to me. “At least that side of your family is fairly straightforward.”
“Not like your side of the family,” I sighed.
“We are nothing if not interesting,” Mum laughed and disappeared.
“What is it?” I asked Velvet as soon as I found her in the laundry’s office.
“It’s your father,” Velvet sighed.
“What has he done?” I asked.
“It isn’t what he’s done,” she sighed again.
“That seems to be the way with my family, then again, he is a bit different to most of them,” I said.
“If you mean he has a great talent as opposed to a great ego,” said Velvet.
“Something like that,” I smiled. “So what is the problem.”
“I was thinking how quiet the house is, now the kids have grown up,” Velvet said.
“And?” I asked.
“I said it would be nice to have some more little ones running about the place,” Velvet sighed.
“And?” I asked.
“He reminded me of all the problems I had, working in the laundry whilst pregnant,” she sighed. “And the difficulties of breast feeding whilst still working, the sleepless nights and a million and one other things.”
“But you find the house too quiet when you get home?” I said. “You miss the sound of children.”
“Yes,” she sighed. “And I know he’s right, but.”
“Have you thought of fostering?” I asked. “Then you can skip the sleepless nights, the potty training and go straight to the time when you can talk to and reason with them.”
“I hadn’t thought of that,” said Velvet.
“You would be great,” I said. “I would have loved to have you as a foster mum.”
“I’ll talk to your father tonight,” she said.
“Why don’t you talk to him now,” said my father.
“I think that’s my queue to leave,” I said, giving my wand a quick wave and taking myself back to my rooms.
“You’ve done it again,” said Enid, settling herself down on my sofa.
“All I did was suggest a solution,” I replied.
“And I think it will be the perfect solution,” Mum agreed. “An instant family without all the morning sickness. I couldn’t have done better myself.”
“I just thought how good she would be for so many children,” I said.
“I sometimes think that about you,” said Mum.
“I don’t think that’s going to happen, not for a while at any rate,” I replied.
“Aren’t there any likely men in your life?” she asked.
“I am far too busy,” I said.
“You can say that again,” Mum said.
“And I don’t need you trying to play cupid for me,” I said.
“Someone needs to,” she said.
“When I want your help I’ll ask for it,” I replied. “Meanwhile, I have some tidying to finish.”
“Well, you know what you want tidied,” Mum replied. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“Thanks Mum,” I sighed. I had said it to get her to leave, but somehow, I wish it hadn’t been quite so effective.
By Janice Nye © 2020
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