The sun coming through the bedroom window woke me up just before my phone rang.
“Good morning,” Violet’s chirped happily, I groped round the bedside table for my alarm clock, it said 9.30.
“Morning,” I mumbled.
“Mum said you’d been busy,” said Violet, still sounding way to happy for the time of day, what-ever day it was.
“Somewhat,” I admitted. “What day is it?”
“Don’t you know?” she asked. Like I’d have asked if I’d known.
“I’ve rather lost track of the days,” I confessed. “What with checking up on Georgie and Juliet and keeping an eye on Enid and her parents.”
“Thanks for keeping an eye on Enid, we are all a bit worried about her,” said Violet.
“Well, she is my Mum,” I said, getting out of bed. “Sorry I slept in, I’ll get some breakfast, if that’s OK and be with you shortly.”
“Don’t worry, it’s Sunday, you don’t have to come in today,” said Violet.
“Why did you ring?” I asked fopping back on my bed.
“Mum was worried about you, so I thought I’d ring to check you were OK,” she replied.
“It’s 9.30 on a Sunday morning!” I replied.
“I didn’t ring when I got up, I thought you might like a lie in,” Violet replied.
“What time did you get up?” I asked.
“6.30,” she replied. “I have a bit of a lie in on Sundays.”
“Right, well for future reference, Sundays, unless the building is on fire or likely to blow up in the next ten seconds, don’t contact me before 11am at the earliest,” I replied, hanging up.
The phone rang again, before I even managed to put it down on the bedside table.
“So are you OK?” Violet asked.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“Good, I’ll tell Mum,” she said hanging up. The temptation was to hurl the phone across the room, but I had heard the story of one which bounced back and hit the person on the head, or was it they accidentally hit the cat on the head, whatever, it didn’t end well and there is always the risk of breaking the phone.
This was when my stomach decided that breakfast was a good idea, so I gave in and got up. Looking through the cupboards I came to the conclusion that I needed to go shopping because there was nothing in them, apart from cobwebs and muck. Velvet had done a very good job of cleaning, but she had only tackled surfaces, not that she had needed to and I was grateful for what she had done, but my work was cut out for me.
“So, do I wave my wand and have breakfast appear or should I stir my lazy arse and go down to the canteen?” I asked myself.
“You know what I’ve said about excessive use of the wand,” said Enid appearing next to me.
“It’s never stopped you before,” I replied with a yawn.
“You could do with some exercise, a brisk walk down to the canteen would do you the world of good,” Enid replied.
“Exercise! I’ve had plenty of that these last two days cleaning your rooms and your parents home!” I snapped.
“What were you doing at Malcolm and Natasha’s?” asked Enid.
“I was checking up on Malcolm,” I explained.
“Why?” she asked.
“Because Natasha is busy with the magazine and either isn’t there or isn’t there long enough to notice the mess the place had got into,” I told her.
“Mess! The place is always spotless,” Enid replied. “Natasha wont have it any other way.”
“I guessed that,” I smiled. “But she isn’t there to keep it like that and Malcolm hasn’t the first idea when it comes to house work, he says it’s “Women’s work” and leaves it.”
“I should have thought,” said Enid. “And you’ve cleaned it up?”
“I’ve done my best, but whether it is up to Natasha’s standards, I wouldn’t know,” I said.
“Do you think I aught to check?” Enid asked.
“He’s your Father,” I said.
“If this was your Father,” Enid started.
“If it was my Father, he’s married to Velvet, so I wouldn’t need to check,” I snapped.
“True, I have not doubt she keeps their home spotless, with a clean lived in air to it all,” Enid sighed.
“Walk down to the canteen with me and we’ll check up after breakfast,” I replied. “We’ll see if he remembers who I am.”
“What do you mean?” asked Enid.
“By the end of the day, I think he thought I was the cleaner,” I sighed.
“They don’t have a cleaner, Natasha wont have one in the house,” said Enid.
“Then she has a problem, because if she’s going to be away for any time, Malcolm is going to make a mess of it,” I told her.
“But she loves her work,” Enid explained. “She’d make Malcolm’s life hell if she didn’t do it.”
“Either she gets a cleaner or he’ll have to get himself out of that chair and do it himself,” I said. “Or she’s going to find the place a shit tip whenever she gets back to it.”
“Parents!” Enid said as we arrived at the canteen.
“Tell me about it,” I replied, picking up a tray. “By the way, Mum, have you had breakfast yet?”
“I knew I’d forgotten something,” she said, letting me get a tray for her.
“What do you think would be the best way to tackle this?” Enid asked as we walked through the canteen trying to find an empty table.
“I could wave my wand and move some people out onto the lawn,” I suggested. “That would give us an empty table or we could grab that one before someone else gets it,” I added pointing to one that some people were leaving.
“That wasn’t what I was on about,” Enid replied, looking at the table and then her tray. I put my tray down and pulled up a chair.
“Shouldn’t we take the stuff off the tray?” Enid asked.
“The table didn’t look that clean and we’re only going to have to put the empty dishes back on it to take them over to be washed,” I said.
“If you’d waited for me to wipe the table,” said one of the canteen ladies.
“Then someone else would have taken the table,” I said.
“This is a busy time of day,” the canteen lady persisted.
“We had noticed,” said Enid. “And when we have had our breakfast you will probably have the opportunity to clean it.”
“You have to understand,” the canteen lady started.
“That my scrambled eggs on toast are going cold whilst we talk and you have failed to clean the table behind you before it was occupied by someone else,” said Enid.
“I don’t like your attitude,” snapped the canteen lady
“I don’t like your attitude either,” replied Enid, fishing out her mobile phone. “Maud,” she said as soon as her call was answered. The canteen lady’s face went white.
“Hello Enid,” Maud replied. “To what do I own this pleasure.”
“One of your canteen ladies doesn’t like my attitude,” said Enid. “We didn’t give her time to clean the table before we put our trays down and now my breakfast is going cold.”
“I shall be there in one second,” Maud replied and hung up. Enid placed the phone in her pocket and looked up to see Maud.
“How many times have I told you about this?” Maud asked the canteen lady.
“She looked at that table as if it was infested with something,” said the canteen lady.
“Did she complain about the table?” Maud asked.
“No, not in so many words,” said the canteen lady. “It was the look on her face.”
“I didn’t know if I was supposed to take the plate off the tray or what,” said Enid. “I was just about to ask Myrtle about that when she started on at us.”
“Myrtle? What idiot calls their daughter Myrtle,” laughed the canteen lady.
“I came in here for a quick breakfast, because I overslept and because I like my toast nice and hot and the same goes for my cup of tea. Now they are both cold,” I said.
“Boo hoo,” said the canteen lady pretending to rub her eyes. “Is your breekies all cold and nasty.”
“She goes or I go,” I said to Maud.
“Are you going to put up with little miss posh telling you what to do?” the canteen lady asked Maud.
“I am not putting up with you treating my customers like that,” said Maud.
“And what are you going to do about it,” the canteen lady replied.
“You can work your notice out cleaning the bins or you can leave now,” said Maud.
“I shall tell my Aunt about this,” replied the canteen lady. Maud held up another phone with the Aunt in question clearly visible on it.
“You needn’t bother,” said the Aunt. “I’m backing Maud on this, only I don’t think you are fit to clean the bins. You have messed up every job I have found you. Don’t expect me to put myself out to find you any more.”
The Aunt hung up the call, but the canteen lady was no where to be seen. A cheer went through the canteen.
“I am sorry about that,” said Maud.
“Not your fault,” said Enid.
“I hope this isn’t going to leave you short handed,” I said.
“I’ve been loosing quite a few staff members since I took her on,” Maud replied. “Which is why we are short staffed. I think I know why, now.”
“So it should be easy to sort once this rush is over,” I said.
“True,” said Maud. “But the problem is now!”
“So we’ll give you a hand,” I said, looking at Enid. “If you could do us a fresh breakfast at the end of this.”
“Deal,” said Maud.
By Janice Nye © 2020
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