The Fairy Godmother Part 71

“You must have a lot of questions for us,” said Enid’s Mother. “Why do you live here, it’s such a squalid place?”

“I don’t live here,” I said. “It’s part of my work as a Fairy Godmother, I’m in the middle of sorting something for someone and this is their home and they like it.”

“Low expectations,” Enid’s Father grunted. “Is it safe to sit on this sofa?”

“It and all the rest of the furniture is perfectly clean,” I said, as Enid came in with a tea tray.

“Mugs! You expect us to drink out of mugs!” Enid’s Mother exclaimed.

“That’s what was in the kitchen,” she replied. I waved my wand to change it to the finest china.

“You could have done that,” said Enid’s Father. “You just don’t make the effort.”

“I made the tea!” Enid snapped.

“And cakes! You could have provided cakes, instead of these things,” said Enid’s Mother picking up the plate of biscuits and throwing them across the room.

“She didn’t have to provide anything,” I snapped. “You were brought here to answer my questions.”

“Of course,” said Enid’s Mother, not bothering to let me finish. “You must want to know all about us. Well, as you can see I was very young when Enid was born, but I didn’t let that stop me pursuing my career as an advisor.”

“What sort of advice do you provide?” I asked.

“I advise people on the important things of life, their homes, clothes, hair,” Enid’s Mother started.

“Did you advise Enid to have me put into the nursery?” I asked.

“You were in the way,” said Enid’s Mother. “It was the best place for you. I didn’t think having you was a good idea in the first place, but she would insist. I don’t know why she wanted your Father, he was a talentless waste of space compared with me. It didn’t work, you distracted him from what he called work and so you had to go. I’m sure you understand that.”

“Why did you want to see me?” I asked.

“Just curiosity, I’ve heard so much about the things you have done, I wondered if you had inherited any of my talent,” she sniffed. “Looking at this room, I don’t think you have, I could never put up with that colour combination. As for the lighting, it doesn’t do the room any favours and it could do with a few, it needs to be larger, at least twice the size.”

“What did you think of it?” I asked Enid’s Father.

“Babies! That’s women’s work, nothing to do with men. I told your Father this and he told me I was missing out on a lot of things. I told him it was a load of nonsense and he should leave all that stuff to the women, it’s what they’re suited to,” he said.

“Take them away,” I said to Enid. “They are worse than you!”

“You ungrateful little,” Enid’s Mother started.

“Ungrateful! Can you name one thing that I can be grateful to you for?” I asked.

“You were born,” Enid’s Mother replied.

“I didn’t tell you about the pregnancy till after the birth,” said Enid.

“And why was that?” I asked.

“I knew they’d try and talk me out of giving birth,” said Enid.

“Birth is so undignified,” Enid’s Mother replied. “I never chose to go through with it myself.”

“So who were your biological parents?” I asked Enid.

“Does it matter?” asked Enid’s Father.

“It does to me,” I replied.

“I provided the fertilized egg,” Enid’s Mother replied. “She incubated it.”

“Why?” I asked.

“She wanted a job in the Fairy City, it was a way she could get in,” Enid’s Mother replied. “She could also give the baby she was expecting a better life.”

“I have a twin?” asked Enid.

“Co-habitant of the womb,” said Enid’s Mother.

“Do I know her?” asked Enid.

“Of course you do, she’s married to Myrtle’s Father,” laughed Enid’s Mother. “Didn’t you know?”

“How could I you’ve never mentioned it,” snapped Enid.

“I think they’d better go,” I told Enid.

“I said this was a waste of time,” said Enid’s Father as they vanished back to wherever they had come from.

“I’m beginning to see why you are the way you are,” I said to Enid.

“We need to talk,” said Enid.

“Probably,” I replied. “But not now, I have things to do and I think you need to let all that lot sink in. Do you have anyone you could be with?”

“Only you,” Enid replied.

“Fine, but you’d better make yourself useful,” I sighed.

“I could just wave my wand and get this place tidy,” she suggested. “I noticed you did that for the living room before my parents went in.”

“They weren’t impressed,” I sighed.

“They’d have been less impressed with how it looked before,” she smiled.

“OK, so we’ve been hitting the pizza’s a bit,” I said.

“You could have binned the boxes,” said Enid.

“We’ve been busy,” I replied.

“I never let that stop me keeping things tidy,” said Enid.

“I read up all your case notes,” I replied. “You turned up, waved your wand around and then left. I have been working through the problem with these two humans and helping them solve it, that involves long hours of work and doesn’t give you a great deal of time to organise meals. So after we have got this lot tidy and clean, we are going shopping and then we are going to cook something good and tasty for them for tea.”

“I don’t know why you have to go about things in such a labour intensive way,” sighed Enid.

“Because they have to know that they could have done it without magic, all I am providing is the ideas,” I replied. “After all, you are the one who was complaining about my excessive use of the wand.”

“You’re taking the mystic out of being a Fairy Godmother,” Enid complained.

“You can’t have it both ways,” I replied, getting together a stack of cardboard for recycling.

“There has to be a middle ground,” said Enid.

“It’s a judgement call,” I said. “Sometimes you need to use magic, sometimes you need to show it isn’t always necessary.”

“I suppose so,” sighed Enid. “It’s just difficult to adjust.”

“It’s not that hard if you try,” I said. “Of course, having your wand taken away does help you come up with alternative solutions.”

“I gave it back to you,” Enid muttered, as I got the vacuum cleaner out from the cupboard, plugged it in and started hoovering the floor. “Does that thing have to make so much noise?” she shrieked.

“You’d make a lot more noise in it’s place,” I said.

“It is a machine,” Enid replied waving her wand to reduce the sound to a purr. In an office block three miles away someone thought that their printer had malfunctioned because, although the prints looked perfect, the printer sounded like an ancient vacuum cleaner. They contacted the maintenance company, who sent out an engineer, who found nothing wrong with it and so charged them for the call.

By Janice Nye © 2020