The Fairy Godmother Part 13

“The Fairy Council?” he muttered. “What’s it got to do with them.”

“I go where they send me,” I explained. “They sent me here with instructions on cleaning up your life and and giving you some direction. Asking why isn’t a good idea.”

“But,” he muttered.

“Are you happy with your life?” I asked. “Do you enjoy having a kitchen that looks and smells like the bin wagon has made a delivery here instead of taking the stuff to the tip.”

“They wouldn’t be able to get the wagon up here,” he replied. “The lift’s broken again.”

“And how long has it been broken for?” I asked.

“Not sure,” he said. “I think it was summer, I remember the weather being very hot.”

“Right, and we are in the first week of December,” I said.

“Doesn’t look like it’s going to happen this year then,” he said filling the kettle. “Do Fairies drink tea?”

“Not from that tea pot,” I said, taking a look inside it.

“What’s wrong with it?” he asked, trying to empty the tea bags out.

“You mean apart from the fact that it’s beginning to develop it’s own ecosystem in there and that the old tea bags seem to be well and truly stuck to the bottom of the pot?” I asked.

“OK, it is a bit gross,” he agreed looking round for a mug and rapidly coming to the conclusion that there wasn’t one clean mug in the place.

“A bit gross,” I said.

“OK, it’s totally gross,” he said. “And I know it’s all my own fault, that all I have to do is wash the dishes and put out the rubbish, but I look at this lot and just feel like going back to bed again. I don’t know where to start and I don’t know if I have the energy to finish the job.” He sat down with a thump and looked all in. My thoughts of telling him to get his act together and start cleaning the place up vanished as I looked at him.”

“Where are the bins?” I asked.

“There used to be a rubbish shoot, but they got sealed up because they kept getting the wrong things put down them,” he replied.

“Wrong things?” I asked.

“Things that were on fire, dead people, people who weren’t dead when they got dumped, but were after a few days,” he explained.

“I see,” I replied. “So what happens now?”

“There are some bins round the back of the flat, you take the rubbish there,” he said. “Problem with that is, you get some odd people hanging round there.”

“So, it’s a lot of effort taking the rubbish to the bin, with the lifts being out, and you don’t feel safe when you do?” I asked.

“That about sums it up,” he said, looking at the milk in the fridge, there were bits floating about in it and a rather ripe smell of cheese came out when he took the lid off. “Do you think that’s OK?” he looked hopefully.

“Only if you are planning a slow suicide by food poisoning,” I replied. “When did you last go to the shops?”

“It’s not easy,” he said. “There are 15 floors to go down and come up added to that, the nearest shop is about five miles away and I haven’t got any money left to buy anything with.”

“So, what were you planning on doing?” I asked.

“I wasn’t planning, I just sort of hoped someone would wave a wand and sort it out?” he looked hopeful.

“Sorry, my wand is out of bounds,” I said. “But I suspect this is a problem for more than just you. There will be other people in this block who can’t get out.”

“I’m sure there are,” he said. “But I don’t know what we can do about it.”

“First we need to contact the person in charge of the flat,” I said. “They need to be made aware of the fact that the lift isn’t working and it is impinging on the lives of the residents. Did you report the lift when it broke down?”

“I didn’t specifically, but I’m pretty sure someone must have,” he said, shaking the milk. “Perhaps I could sieve the lumps out.”

I shot the milk bottle with my laser cannon, it seemed preferable to throwing up on him.

“I suppose you want me to clean the floor again,” he said adding what was left of the milk bottle to the over flowing bin.

“It’s either that or report the lift,” I said.

“So, I ring up and report the lift and you’ll clean up the milk bottle?” he asked.

“I’ll also take that bin load to the bin,” I replied.

“OK,” he said tapping on his mobile phone.

“Hello,” he said when someone finally answered. “I’d like to report that the lift is out of action.”

“Could you give me your post code,” he was asked.

“Certainly,” he said, checking the post code on one of the many envelopes lying around.

“I have sent a message to the repair people, they have just finished work on the block next door and will be there in about five minutes,” he was told.

“Thank-you,” he said, hanging up.

“If you don’t tell them, they wont fix it,” I said.

“I just thought that someone else might,” he said.

“And they probably all thought the same and so no one did,” I replied. “Don’t expect other people to do things for you. Also, they are more likely to move if lots of people tell them about something.”

“Do you have all the answers?” he asked.

“No, but I have a lot of the questions,” I smiled. “And that has to be a start,” I added, cleaning up the floor before the milk spread any further. “I am going to take this lot to the bin, I expect you to be dressed by the time I get back.”

“You were little a minute ago, now you are about five foot six,” he said looking confused.

“It would take me forever cleaning that spill up if I was only six inches tall,” I replied looking at the bin, picking it up seemed to be a good way of wearing a lot of the rather messy stuff sitting on the top and I suspected it would be hard to find any bin bags to empty it into. I decided on levitation of the bin, assuming the contents would come up with it. The contents and the bottom of the bin stayed put, the sides moved up and everything started to descend towards the floor. I changed to levitating the lot, opened a window and flew with it to the bins. The bin lid didn’t look too choice so I levitated that as well, a small crowd of people in dark clothes took one look at the bin lid and the rubbish making it’s way into the bin, in a nice orderly line, followed by the bin lid.

“I’m quitting,” said one changing his mind about buying something and dashing off down an alley. He was followed rather rapidly by several others who seemed to be of the same opinion.

“You’ve frightened all my customers away,” he said glaring at me.

“Not much of a business, hanging round bins,” I replied. “Perhaps you need a change of career,” I added floating into the air, with a flap of my wings I was back at the 15^th floor.

“Perhaps I do,” he muttered to himself walking down the alley the others had run down.

“No problems down the bins?” he asked as I flew back in through the kitchen window.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” I smiled.

“I suppose not,” he muttered.

By Janice Nye © 2019

The Fairy Godmother Part 12

Back at the Hall of the Fairy Council again. Got to say the old place was beginning to look rather familiar and some of the mystery was beginning to ware off it, which is more than could be said about the cob webs. I was beginning to think that the place could do with a good clean up when I noticed the Head of the Fairy Council coughing.

“Do we have your attention now?” the Head of the Fairy Council asked rather pointedly.

“Of course,” I replied.

“You were looking at the ceiling,” she said.

“I’ve never seen so many cob webs,” I said looking up, probably a mistake now I think of it.

“No one in this room looks at the ceiling, no one looks at anything other than me,” said the Head of the Fairy Council. Her voice getting louder with each word, till the force of it shook the cob webs and the dust fell off them causing her to cough long and loud.

“Would you like a glass of water?” I asked when at last she stopped coughing enough to draw breath.

“Than-you. No,” she sighed. “We have observed you efforts with the last job.”

“I rescued the children,” I said. “That didn’t happen in the original story, I know, but I always thought that it shouldn’t have ended like that.”

“I always thought that as well,” said Enid, the Head Fairy.

“When I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it,” the Head of the Fairy Council replied, glaring at the Head Fairy.

“If I’m not wanted,” Enid replied.

“No, you aren’t,” said the Head of the Fairy Council, waving her wand. Enid vanished.

“I shall give you another job, but this time you can do it without the Head Fairy watching over you and waving her wand when you can’t,” the Head of the Fairy Council said, looking at me. “We will provide you with a mobile phone so that you can ring for assistance, should it be needed,” she waved her wand and a phone appeared on the table in front of her. “It is said to be tough,” she said looking at it. “Don’t break it. You will find some contacts on it. There is one number for me, another for Enid.”

I picked up the phone and she waved her wand, the last thing I heard her say was.

“And someone sort out those blasted cob webs.”

I found myself on top of a wall cupboard in a kitchen, the least of whose problems was cob webs, though there were plenty of them. The envelope was standing up in the grease next to me. I opened it carefully and pulled out the card.

His life is a worse mess than this kitchen.

It needs to be turned around.

You need to find a constructive role for him

and then point him in the right direction.

I unstuck myself from the top of the kitchen cupboard and flew down to the work surface and looked round the room.

“This needs to be sorted,” I muttered as the kitchen door opened and he walked in, saw me and picked up a bottle of tomato ketchup.

"Fairies taste good, especially with ketchup" he said advancing towards me, but stopped short when I blasted the bottle with the laser cannon I had in my pocket.

"Next target is something you don't want me to hit," I said.

"Do you mean me?" he asked hesitantly.

"Part of you," I said taking aim.

"I heard vegetarian sausages aer very good as well," he added.

"You're learning," I smiled.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you,” he said cautiously.

“You were going to eat me,” I said. “And the only reason you haven't is because I destroyed you bottle of ketchup.”

“It was organic, the last in the shop,” he said looking sadly at the smouldering remains of the bottle still clasped in his hand.

“And you think that makes it better,” I snapped. “You were going to eat me!”

“Put that way, no it doesn't make it any better,” he sighed binning what was left of the ketchup bottle.

“And you can clean the floor whilst you're at it,” I told him, still aiming the laser canon in his direction.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because this place is a shit tip,” I replied. “And you have to start somewhere.”

“What's it to you,” he muttered.

“I, for my sins, am your Fairy Godmother,” I replied.

“And what are these sins?” he asked, getting the mop and bucket out of the cupboard and then fighting the cobwebs off to get the mop out of the bucket.

“You'll need some hot water in that and some detergent,” I said peering into the bucket.

“I know that,” he said. “I'm not an imbecile.”

“You have proof?” I asked.

“You are changing the subject,” he said turning the hot tap on and running it till the water turned warm before he put the bucket under it. “What are your sins?”

“I'd rather not talk about that,” I muttered between clenched teeth.

“You're the one who mentioned them in the first place,” he smiled. “So deep down, you really need to talk about them to someone, so it might as well be me.”

“That's enough water,” I told him as the bucket got to two thirds full. “You have to leave enough space to put the mop head in without overflowing the bucket.”

“I know that and you are changing the subject again,” he said. “What are your sins? Come to that why are you my Fairy Godmother and aren't you supposed to help me?”

“It's a long story,” I said hoping that would put him off asking more questions.

“I've got time,” he smiled.

“Which is why you need a fairy godmother,” I explained.

“That and other reasons,” I thought.

“And someone choose you for the job, presumably because you upset someone over something. You weren't being diplomatic were you?” he smiled.

“I don't do diplomatic,” I snapped.

“I noticed that, so did the ketchup bottle,” he said.

“Shouldn't you be mopping?” I reminded him, looking pointedly at the mop and bucket.

“Couldn't you summon up some magic and get the mop to do that?” he asked.

“Difficult as they took my magic wand,” I thought.

“This type of help is called Hard love,” I replied. “I tell you what to do and you do it, that way, when your life turns around you know you did it by your own efforts. I didn't just wave my wand and make things better for you.”

“Where is your wand?” he asked. “They didn't take it from you, for your sins?”

I glared at him, he was being a bit too bright for my liking.

“They took your wand and told you to turn my life around, like they were setting both of us up for failure,” he said thoughtfully.

“We'll have the last laugh on that bunch,” I said. “Now clean that floor,” I added waving the laser canon from him to the bucket.

“OK, I'm cleaning,” he said plunging the mop into the steaming water. “But wouldn't this be better if we worked together.”

“No one works with me,” I muttered.

“No one works with me either,” he smiled

“You don't work,” I laughed.

“Then how about we both try something new, I'll work and you can work with me and we'll both make them eat their words.”

“OK,” I said slowly. “But if you mention tomato ketchup again.”

“It will not pass my lips,” he said hurriedly.

“It better not,” I replied, putting the laser canon back in my pocket.

“How do you fit a thing that size into your pocket, it's so much smaller?” he asked.

“That's for me to know,” I snapped.

“And me to find out,” he finished.

“Only if I put you in the pocket as well,” I replied.

“Would that be wise, I mean you do have a laser canon in there?” he said squeezing the mop out.

“You've missed a bit by the sink,” I said pointing it out to him.

“That's been there for ages,” he replied vaguely.

“So, it's about time it wasn't there any more and before you ask, I have more than one pocket,” she smiled. “Cleaning you and your home up is just the start of my work and there seems to be plenty of it to do.”

“I don't see you doing anything,” he muttered.

“I am here to tell you what needs to be done, you do it. Quite simple really,” I snapped. “Are you going to leave that mop there?”

“I've finished the floor, including the bit by the sink,” he replied.

“You squeeze out the mop again and then empty the bucket in the drain outside,” I said patiently.

“We are on the 15^th floor,” he replied.

“15^th!” I muttered.

“Didn't you notice when you arrived and by the way, how did you get in here?” he asked.

“The Fairy Council sent me directly here, or rather on top of that cupboard,” I replied pointing. “And it is disgusting up there, no excuse whatsoever, it needs a good clean, as does the rest of the place if this is anything to judge by,” I replied.

by Janice Nye © 2019

The Fairy Godmother Part 11

“Do not try to stop the program” the words appeared on the monitor.

“I don’t want to stop it, I want to join in,” I typed.

“Plug the second head set into the USB port.”

“This isn’t a good idea,” said Enid and the woman together.

“What are the goals of this game?” I asked. “I need to know what I am trying to do.”

“Do you want to join the children or join with the parents trying to stop them?” asked the program

“My husband joined the parents,” said the woman.

“Join the children,” I typed.

“Why do you want to do that?” Enid asked.

“Joining the parents obviously doesn’t work,” I explained, putting the head set on. “I need to know what the children do to win the game.”

“And if you don’t win?” the woman asked.

“I’ll have to,” I thought as the bedroom was replaced by a brightly coloured landscape, that looked like it had come from a children’s fairy tale book, which did make some sense.

“We’ve got to hurry up and catch up with the main bunch,” said a little boy with a crutch, hobbling along as quickly as he could.

“Let me help you,” I said, picking him up and flying with him along the path till we saw the main group, nice to know that some of my fairy skills worked here.

“There they are,” he said pulling out of my arms and nearly falling. I sat us down up hill from where they were. “I must join them,” he said reaching out for his crutch so that he could stand up.”

“You stay here,” I said, looking round.

“But I can’t, I’ve got to join them,” he insisted, till I put some ear plugs in his ears. When he stopped hearing the pipe music he stopped trying to join the group and sat still looking confused.

“Where am I?” he asked.

“You’re in a computer game,” I explained. “You were trying to catch up with the rest.”

“Stephen?” said an adult, coming up the hill side.

“Dad, what are you doing here?” the boy asked.

“You wouldn’t get off the computer,” he replied. “I thought if I got into the game I could get you to come home.”

“We need to get all the children to come home,” I said pointing to the group of children rapidly approaching a hole in the side of the mountain.

“If we can find the laser canon we can shoot the magic pipe and stop the children following the pied piper,” the man explained.

“But where would the hide the laser canon?” I asked.

“There are clues to that hidden around here,” Stephen explained. “You solve the clues and that leads you to something which tells you where the laser canon is hidden.

“We don’t have time for that,” I heard Enid say, though as far as I knew she was still in the boys bedroom with his Mother.

“We need to speed things up,” I said.

“I know, but I don’t know how, non of the short cuts I know seem to work, I think there may be a bug in the program,” Stephen said.

“Is there anything else the bug is doing”? I asked.

“It’s stopping people signing out of the game,” Stephen said. “I tried to close the game down hours ago, but it isn’t responding to the normal commands.

“So we need to use commands which aren’t normal,” I said, hoping the Enid would take the hint.

“I think she wants the laser canon,” Enid muttered, waving her wand over the monitor. “I hope that will do the trick.”

As I looked down at the group of children following the pied piper a laser canon appeared in front of me.

“What the hell,” muttered Stephen’s Dad, much to Stephen’s surprise.

I picked the laser canon out of the air, took aim and shot the pipe. The Pied Piper spun round and glared in my direction, tying to intimidate me.

“Who did that?” he shouted. “Show yourself.”

I shot the curly toe of his left shoe, for a second it looked like he had a candle in the end of his shoe, then he dunked it in a puddle and the flame went out. I shot the other shoe. He took one look at me, dashed through the gap in the rock wall and it closed up behind him.

“What do we do now?” asked first one child and then another and another, till all the children were asking what they should do next.

“We need to get down there,” I said, grabbing Stephen and his Father and flying down to the children.

“We need to find the way back to the village,” said another adult who was walking up to the group.

“Mummy!” squealed one little girl and ran over to her.

“And how do we do that?” I asked.

“We need to find a flock of sheep and they will lead us to a bridge, under which are three goats, and they will only allow us to cross the bridge if we can tell them the password,” she said.

“I can’t see any sheep around here,” I said. “And I don’t like the way that the rock face is shuddering.”

“That isn’t a rock face,” the girl’s Mummy said. “That is the dam at the end of the reservoir and if that keeps shaking the way it is, then the dam will give way and this whole area will be flooded and the village will drown.

“What do we do when we get back to the village?” I asked.

“We need to destroy the wishing well,” she said. “There is some evil spirit living in the bottom and she is the cause of all the problems.”

“Right,” I said, hoping that Enid would get the hint. She waved her wand and we were in the centre of the village, just by the wishing well. “OK,” I smiled, taking aim with the laser canon at the wishing well.

“Don’t do it,” came a voice from the bottom of the well.

“It has to be done,” I replied.

“I will give you everything you could ever want,” the voice at the bottom of the well replied.

“If the offer sounds too good to be true,” Enid said. “Then it is.”

I destroyed the wishing well and suddenly Stephen, his Dad and I were back in his bedroom.

Program ended and deleted

The words came up on the computer monitor and then was rapidly replaced by Stephen’s desk top and all his short cuts.

“I’d better check the with the other parents,” said Stephen’s Mum pulling her mobile phone out of her pocket. It took a while to ring round everyone, but everyone was out of the game and they had all seen the same message when they did.

“Time to go,” said Enid and we were whisked back to the Fairy Council, but not before I’d put the laser canon in my pocket. You never know when it might come in useful.

By Janice Nye © 2019

The Fairy Godmother Part 10

Please scroll down for earlier posts

“She sorted that little problem out, very quickly,” said Enid, the Head Fairy, before the Head of the Fairy Council could say anything.

“Yes,” the Head Fairy agreed. “But not quite in the way that we were expecting.”

“How else was I supposed to do it?” I asked, not wanting to be left out of the discussion.

“You were supposed to help Santa, not the store manager,” the Head of the Fairy Council replied.

“But which Santa, there were two of them,” I replied.

“The real Santa, of course,” the Head of the Fairy Council replied.

“And which would that be?” I asked, trying to look innocent, but I think I was failing.

“Explain it to her,” the Head of the Fairy Council said to Enid, the Head Fairy.

“Santa is there for the children, so there are certain things a real Santa doesn’t do,” Enid explained.

“Like getting drunk?” I asked.

“Yes, like getting drunk,” said Enid.

“Well, he got the sack,” I explained. “And the other Santa, the one who didn’t like his beard set a light, he got his job back.”

“I’m not entirely sure about that Santa,” said the Head of the Fairy Council.

“He only complained to the Store manager about the children’s behaviour,” I said. “He didn’t say anything to the children.”

“OK, your right about that,” the Head of the Fairy Council agreed. “We shall have to think about it, meanwhile, we have another test for you.”

“Do I have to go as well?” asked Enid. “I am the Head Fairy, I do have other things to do.”

“We could always appoint another Head Fairy,” said the Head of the Fairy Council.

“That wont be necessary,” Enid replied quickly. “I’m sure my team can handle things whilst I am busy.”

“That’s settled then,” the Head of the Fairy Council replied waving her wand.

“Where are we now?” the Head Fairy muttered.

“Up another tree,” I replied. “A conifer of some kind or other.”

“There should be an envelope,” Enid sighed.

“Here it is,” I said pulling it out of the branch above me.

“So what does it say?” asked Enid.

“I’ll just open it,” I said.

Remember the story of the Pied Piper.

In this case someone has got the local

kids caught up in a virtual reality computer game,

they think they are travelling with him somewhere.

In reality they are all sitting in their rooms, not eating

or sleeping, just playing this game.

Parents have tried turning the computers off,

but the children just flop and appear lifeless

till the game is restarted.

“Shit,” I muttered.

“Do you know much about computer games?” Enid asked.

“Like when do I have time for them?” I asked.

“Do you really want me to go through all your internet history?” Enid asked.

“OK, so I’ve played the odd game, occasionally,” I said, looking down to the ground to see how far away it was, not that I can’t fly or anything, it’s just useful to know how close the ground is. It was further away than I thought.

“I’m not trying to pry,” said the Enid. “It’s just that it would help if one of us had some idea as to how these things work if we are going to tackle this problem.”

“We need to see the game,” I said. “Get some idea as to how they have got so entrenched in it.”

“Are you suggesting we play it!” said Enid looking rather shocked.

“We have to find a way to get them out. Sounds like their parents have tried, but it didn’t work,” I said.

“Yes, the children collapsed,” said Enid looking at the card.

“So we need to join in the game so we can see what they are seeing and find a way out for them,” I replied.

“I don’t like the sound of this,” said Enid.

“Can’t say that I’m all that happy with the idea, but I can’t see an alternative,” I replied.

“So who goes into this game?” asked Enid.

“I think I’d better,” I smiled.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” said Enid. “Now all we need is a computer and one of those face mask things.”

“See that bedroom window over there,” I said pointing.

“I try not to look in bedroom windows,” Enid replied, looking away from the building I was pointing to.

“There is a little boy in there who is obviously playing the game,” I replied.

“How do you know he’s playing it?” asked Enid.

“Something about the way in which his Mother is standing next to him crying,” I replied. “She needs her Fairy Godmother to come to the rescue,” I added jumping off the branch and heading towards the window.

“What!” screeched Enid, following after me as quickly as she could fly.

The window was slightly open, so I flew in and sat on top of the computer monitor.

“Hello,” I said smiling at the woman.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“I am your Fairy Godmother,” I replied. “And I am here to help you.”

“Can you get my son off that, thing?” she asked. “I’d turn the machine off, but,” she sobbed.

“I know,” I said. “I need to get into the game, there has to be some way of turning it off or finishing the game.”

“People have tried and they got stuck in it as well,” the woman cried. “My husband tried.”

“So you’ve got two people stuck in it?” I asked.

“I’ve lost count of how many in this village are in that blasted thing,” she replied.

“Is there any literature about it?” asked Enid, appearing next to me.

“Who are you and how did you get in here?” asked the woman.

“I am your Fairy Godmothers supervisor,” Enid replied. “She’s not been in the job for long.”

“Right,” said the woman, her face fell.

“But that doesn’t mean that I can’t sort this out,” I replied looking at the computer. “It might help if we could see what he’s seeing,” I added, tapping a few keys. Nothing happened for a moment and then we got a message.

“Do not stop the program.”

“Not helpful,” I muttered as the woman started to dry louder.

By Janice Nye © 2019

The Fairy Godmother Part 9

With a swish of her wand the Head of the Fairy Council sat us on one of the higher branches of a Christmas tree in one of many Santa’s Grottos.

“It could have been worse,” I said looking up to the Fairy at the top of the Christmas tree.

“What are our instructions?” Enid, the Head Fairy asked stiffly. “Open the envelope,” she added when I looked puzzled.

“Oh, yes,” I muttered, carefully doing as I was told, I had heard about some non too nice surprises that had come out of envelopes given to people by the Fairy Council. This one didn’t contain one. Instead there was a card.

Santa is having problems

You two have been sent to sort them

in the next 4 hours.

Do not stuff up

You are there to observe Enid

See that you do so

I showed the card to the Head Fairy.

“I like the great detail they’ve gone into, not,” said Enid.

“So what do I do?” I asked.

“Use your initiative,” Enid suggested.

“OK, but you have been warned,” I said. “Where’s Santa?” I asked the Fairy at the top of the Christmas tree.

“The elves are on strike,” she replied.

“Why?” I asked.

“Used to be the kids that came to the grotto were all sweetness and light,” she sighed.

“And they aren’t any more?” I asked.

“One of the little dears thought that Don, one of the elves, had a false nose and tried to pull it off,” the tree Fairy said.

“Painful,” I said.

“I’ll say,” she replied. “He nearly managed, it was only when the nose started to bleed that the little dear stopped and then started to scream louder than Don and he was loud enough. The elves are demanding danger money.”

“Sounds reasonable,” I replied.

“Santa thinks that too, he’d like it as well,” said the Fairy

“How come?” I asked.

“It’s been the third time today that some little dear has set fire to his beard. Santa is supposed to have a long white beard, not a short white one that is singed at the edges,” the tree Fairy replied. “He’s leading the strike.”

“Can’t the store just throw out the disruptive elements?” I asked.

“You’d think so,” the tree Fairy sighed. “Instead they have brought in another Santa and he’s got some of his old drinking friends to help usher the children round.”

“Is that working any better?” I asked.

“That all depends if you think Santa should be sober,” the tree Fairy replied.

“Of course he should be sober,” snapped the Head Fairy.

“Right,” said the tree Fairy. “And I agree with you a hundred per cent. So it isn’t working at all.”

“I think we should talk to the original Santa,” I said.

“Then you’ll find him in the basement with the elves,” said the tree Fairy. “And much luck may you have talking sense into them.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, but the fairy was sitting very still and as I looked around I could see some children looking back at me.

“Now what do I do?” I asked the Head Fairy.

“Stay still, stay absolutely still,” she muttered, trying not to open her mouth as she spoke.

“That Fairy was talking to the other Fairy,” said one little girl.

“Don’t talk nonsense,” said one of Santa’s helpers, carefully taking a swig out of a hip flask and then slipping it back into his pocket. “They aren’t real fairies, they’re just decorations.”

“If my sister says one of the Fairies was talking to the other one, that is what was happening,” the observant one’s brother said. “You should apologise for doubting her word.”

“Or else,” said the helper looking the boy in the eye and burping whiskey at him.

“You, sir, are drunk,” the boy replied.

“And you are a prat,” replied the helper. “And Santa isn’t going to see you or your sister today or any other day, he added, pushing the boy and his sister towards the exit. The little girl let out one almighty scream and soon security men were running from all corners of the store convinced that, at the very least, a murder was taking place.

The store manager also came running to see what on earth was going on. He took one look at the children, who were being comforted by their Nanny and went pale.

“You are sacked,” he told Santa’s helper. “Collect your pay at the office and don’t come back here again.”

“If you are sacking my bother,” said Santa, then he hi-cupped, almost, and the store manager wore Santa’s lunch.

“I’m sacking you as well,” the store manager added. “And I’ll be deducting the cost of cleaning this lot up from your final pay, if there’s any left, it will be transferred to your bank account.”

“So who’s going to run this piss poor excuse for a grotto?” Santa’s helper asked.

“That isn’t your problem,” said the store manager. “Your problem is getting out of here before I send for the Police.”

“Don’t worry, we’re going,” Santa’s helper replied, guiding his brother to the door. “It was a crap job anyhow.”

The store manager stood and watched as Santa and his helper went up the escalator to the ground floor.

“I think someone needs a hand,” I said.

“You were supposed to help Santa, not the the store manager,” said Enid, following as I few down to a level with the store managers head.

“I think you could do with a little help from your Fairy Godmother,” I smiled.

“They must have put something in that drink I had,” the store manager said.

“Ice cubes is a usual thing,” I said.

“I was think something more than that,” he said.

“What makes you think that?” I asked.

“I am talking to a rather odd looking fairy,” he replied. “And she’s hovering in front of my face.”

“No need to be personal,” I replied.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” he said. “But, I’ve been having a rather stressful day.”

“All the more reason not to offend your Fairy Godmother,” I said, deciding that perhaps it was a height problem or the flying bit that was making it difficult for him to take me seriously.

“You were six inches tall and now you are over five feet tall,” he said and started to giggle.

“You are having hysterics,” I said. “Either that or you are as drunk as Santa and his helper.”

“This is the first time I have been put in charge of anything and I am making a complete mess of it,” he sobbed. “First one Santa and his elves walk out demanding danger money, now his replacement is drunk in charge of this, so I’ve had to sack him.”

“Can you get another Santa?” I asked.

“The owner of this place is bringing his grandchildren down here in an hour, they are expecting to see Santa and his elves all looking happy and and look at it, there’s diced carrot on the floor and no one in sight,” he started sobbing again. It’s hard watching a grown man cry.

“You could try talking to the original Santa,” I suggested.

“He wont answer his phone,” he sobbed.

“He’s in stores, with the elves,” I said. “The only thing that was annoying them was that some of the kids were being stroppy.”

“But what can I do, kids aren’t as well behaved as they were when I was little, we were in awe of Santa,” he said. “And unless I can sort that one out, I stuffed.”

“I think we may need a little magic fairy dust around here to get the children into the Christmas spirit,” I said looking at Enid.

“I’ll have to talk to the Fairy Council,” she replied and vanished with a wave of her wand.

“I bet she wont get told off for doing that,” I muttered.

“What?” asked the store manager.

“Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one to have problems,” I said. “Let’s go and talk to Santa and the elves.”

“Stores?” he said.

“Lead the way,” I smiled.

The Head Fairy was waiting for us when we walked down the stairs into the storage part of the shop.

“Do we have permission to use Fairy Dust?” I asked.

“Yes,” muttered Enid.

“Have you come to negotiate?” asked Santa, Don, the head elf was standing by his side looking like he was up to hitting someone.

“I can’t offer you danger money,” said the store manager.

“Then there is no point in talking then,” snapped Don.

“What you don’t like is the children threatening you, am I right?” I asked.

“And who are you?” he asked.

“I am the store manager’s Fairy Godmother,” I replied, rising a couple of foot into the air to add weight to my pronouncement, I’d have gone higher, but the ceiling was in the way.

“Oh,” said Don.

“Can you do something to stop them threatening us?” asked Santa. “And can you do something about my beard. I’m supposed to have a white beard, not one that’s singed at the edges.”

“I have been authorised to use Fairy Dust for this job and that will ensure that anyone walking into the grotto will be filled with the true spirit of Christmas and will not abuse any of the grottos workers,” I replied.

“Will that last for the whole of the season?” Santa asked.

I looked at Enid.

“It will,” she replied. “It will also clean up any mess, which does include your beard.”

“Thanks,” said Santa. “When can we start work?”

“Now,” said the store manager.

“I’ll get to work with the Fairy Dust,” said Enid with a quick wave of her wand.

Enid and I watched the owners Grandchildren enjoy the grotto from the safety of the upper branches of the tree.

“Why don’t all the children come here, it’s so magical?” asked the youngest of the Grandchildren.

“Good question,” I said.

“Have you not looked at the people in the shop?” Enid asked. “They are all rich.”

“So?” I asked.

“It is only the children of rich people that come to this grotto,” Enid replied.

“You are right,” said the store owner. “All the children should be able to come. Change the sign,” he told the store manager. “Santa’s grotto, free to all children.”

“That’s better,” said Enid and with a flash we were back at the Fairy Council.

By Janice Nye © 2019

The Fairy Godmother Part 8

The Fairy Council, something that is spoken of in hushed tones and only after all care has been taken to make sure no one is listening. They are the last people a fairy wants to be standing in front of and that was where I was now. The room was enormous, I’m sure there was a ceiling up there, but I couldn’t see it. The table at the far end of the room seemed to go on for ever, though I suppose it didn’t, just felt that way. There were fairies along the length of the table, but it was the one in the centre, who was busy reading something, who was the one in charge and she looked far from happy.

“I have been reading your report,” said the fairy when she finally finished and it felt like we’d been standing there forever.

“I can explain,” said the Head Fairy. “Or rather we can,” she added looking at me. I decided to say nothing. I wasn’t sure what to say, so I thought I’d better not make things worse and kept quiet.

“I should think so Enid,” the Head of the Fairy Council replied. “I am greatly disappointed with this report,” she added holding it up by a corner as if it was something repellent, that had crawled out from under a rock and died. “I expected better from you.”

“It was not an easy report to write,” Enid said, looking as if she didn’t know where to start. “My role in this project was to observe.”

“It was also to intervene if things looked to be getting out of hand,” the Head of the Fairy Council replied. “And where was your report?” she added glaring at me. My brain went blank.

“I,” I looked round trying to find inspiration and coming up with a blank. “I was busy composing it when the Head Fairy brought me here. I wanted to do a proper job of it. I didn’t want to rush it.” I stuttered to a halt.

“You were sitting on a deck chair on the beach, sunning yourself and waiting for someone to bring you a drink,” the Head Fairy snapped.

“It has been a busy few days and I went there to make sure the village was OK after the curse had been lifted,” I replied.

“And why wouldn’t it be OK?” asked the Head of the Fairy Council. “They have had a curse lifted, they can now carry on as per normal.”

“But can they?” I asked. “I don’t know how long they have been under this curse.”

“I don’t see that that would matter,” said the Head of the Fairy Council.

“Curses can last for a long time,” I said. “If they have been under a curse for a long time then it is going to effect their trade with other villages and they may not be able to pick up where they left off, they could face an economic disaster. I needed to check that this was not going to happen.”

“And what were you going to do if you thought there had been any detrimental result from the curse?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I was planning on judging what the repercussions were and then working out what to do next.”

“And you were going to do that from your deck chair?” she asked.

“The man was talking about re-opening his hotel,” I replied. “I had to have some idea as to their level of service before I could judge if this was a good basis for the villages resurgence.”

“Sounds reasonable,” said someone on the table. The Head of the Fairy Council glared in their direction and they subsided.

“And if it wasn’t?” she asked.

“Then I was going to hang around and try to assess the situation, see what the economy of the villages was based on and see how that fitted in to modern life,” I explained.

“And did you plan to do that from the comfort of your deck chair?” she asked. “Or were you planning on waving your wand a bit more to make it all hunky dory for everyone?”

That’s when it crossed my mind that perhaps they thought I’d over done the wand a bit. It had seemed the best solution to the various problems, at the time.

“There is a time and a place for everything,” I said. “My use of the wand may have seemed a bit excessive.”

The Head Fairy started coughing and was offered a glass of water. Well, when I say offered, someone waved a wand and it appeared next to her.

“But sometimes it is necessary to speed things up,” I added as the Head Fairy took a sip of water to stop her coughing fit.

“I’ll take the glass to the kitchen,” the Head Fairy suggested once her cough had subsided.

“You will do no such thing,” said the Head of the Fairy Council. “You can place it on the coaster,” she added and a coaster appeared on the table in front of her.

“Thank-you,” said the Head Fairy.

“You can take it to the kitchen later,” the Head of the Fairy Council replied. “After the meeting is over. Carry on,” she added, glancing in my direction.

“Yes,” I said smiling. “The use of my wand my have seemed excessive, but it was mainly used to speed up the resolution of the problem as I saw it and the return to normal life for those effected.”

“So, cleaning the shoe makers house?” the Head Fairy asked.

“Loosing his wife, his sole mate, had been devastating for the shoe maker. She ran the house and the shop very efficiently, without her around things fell into chaos. The washing wasn’t done, the rubbish wasn’t taken out, he was living on take-aways because he had no idea how to cook and it didn’t help that he had no idea what to get when shopping. With her gone the place rapidly became a mess. Having her sort it all out and then get on with getting the business back in order seemed like a tall order, to me, the simplest solution was to give a hand with the house work. She still has the business to get back in order, but at least they have a start at getting their lives back on track,”

“I see,” said the Head of the Fairy Council.

“And the maid?” she asked.

“It wasn’t much of a job,” I said. “And she would have preferred to be near to her Mum, also, it meant that I would be there when the spell on the Head Fairy ended, just in case she was a little disorientated when it happened.”

“That was very thoughtful of you,” said a voice from the other end of the table. The Head of the Fairy Council glared in the direction of the speaker.

“Thank-you,” muttered the Head Fairy, but I knew she didn’t mean it.

“I retrieved the mirror and the Head Fairy was able to collect the Fairy gems and then we left,” I said.

“The Head Fairy flew off, you used your wand to get to the shoe makers home,” said the Head of the Fairy Council.

“I had been longer than expected in Sybil’s rooms,” I explained quickly. “I had arranged with the shoe maker, the ex doorman and the other man to meet them at the shoe makers house as soon as everything was sorted. I didn’t want them to get anxious and start thinking that something had gone wrong, so I used my want to speed things up,” I explained.

“Then, after you used it to clean up the shoe makers house, you went on to use it to transport yourself and the two men to the village on the coast,” said the Head of the Fairy Council.

“It was necessary to get them away from the place as quickly as possible,” I said.

“And why would that be?” the Head of the Fairy Council asked.

“Because Sybil might be after them,” I said. “She’d want to know what had happened to the mirror and the Fairy gems, for a start off and they were the ones likely to have any answers, them and the Head Fairy,” I added, looking at Enid.

“So you were getting them out of harms way?” the Head Fairy asked.

“Doing my best,” I said. “Also, the were anxious to find out how the village was coping with things, the best thing was to get them back there so they could see for themselves.”

“And how are you going to stop Sybil from following them there?” the Head of the Fairy Council asked.

“That’s a good question,” said the Head Fairy, turning to me. “Not that the Head of the Fairy Council asks any other sort of question,” she added hurriedly as she felt the Head of the Fairy’s eyes upon her.

“I spent a long time waiting for dawn to break the spell on the Head Fairy,” I explained. “I used that time checking through Sybil’s records and erasing all mention of the village, it’s going to be harder for her to get there if she doesn’t know where it is and what it’s called.”

“Well, it’s good to know you’d thought of that,” the Head of the Fairy Council admitted, through clenched teeth. “Do you have anything to add to this?” she added, turning to the Head Fairy.

“I did warn against excessive use of the wand,” the Head Fairy replied.

“You warned!” said the Head of the Fairy Council. “You should have taken over and sorted it all out.”

“I thought she had it under control,” said the Head Fairy. “All right, her methods were a little unorthodox, but they were getting things sorted.”

“You’re judgement has been a bit off, of late,” said the Head of the Fairy Council.

“I think that is a little harsh, if you don’t mind me saying,” the Head Fairy replied.

“Yes, I do mind,” said the Head of the Fairy Council. “Your decisions will have to be put for approval by the council for the next month after which time this judgement will be up for review.”

“But,” the Head Fairy stuttered.

“If you want to argue the case that can be increased to six months,” said the Head of the Fairy Council.

“Of course not, I bow to your judgement,” said the Head Fairy, bowing low.

“As for you,” the Head of the Fairy Council said turning to me. “You will leave your wand on the table before you leave.”

“How can I work as a Fairy Godmother without a wand?” I asked.

“That’s for you to work out,” the Head of the Fairy Council replied with a smile, tapping the table. I stepped forward and put my wand down in front of her.

“Here is your next job,” she said handing an envelope to me. “Get out of my sight and get on with your work, both of you,” she added with a wave of her wand.

By Janice Nye © 2019

The Fairy Godmother Part 7

“She’s coming,” the mirror hissed at me.

“What,” I mumbled, trying to wake up.

“She’s coming, Sybil is coming,” the mirror repeated ever more urgently.

“But, it’s nowhere near dawn,” I muttered looking at my watch. I must get a second hand for it, or rather one that tells you which hour it is. I held the clock to my ear, it wasn’t working.

“I had to get a Fairy Godmother with a non working clock,” moaned the mirror.

“I’ll hide you in the wardrobe,” I said grabbing the mirror.

“And what will you do?” it asked.

“I’m betting that someone like that wouldn’t be able to pick her maid out of a line-up of people in maids clothes,” I said. “I’ll put some of the maids clothes on.”

“She was a good six inch taller than you,” said the mirror. “You’ll never get away with it.”

“So, I’ll grow a bit,” I said. “I’m a Fairy Godmother, I can do this.”

“But,” said the mirror.

“I just need to keep her in the dark till after dawn,” I said.

“Good luck,” said the mirror as I shut and locked the wardrobe door and then put the key in my pocket.

It was easy to find the maids room, problem was it was the room for all the maids, so I had to guess as to which was the right uniform. I had just changed when the door to the suite of rooms was flung open.

“Where are you maid?” Sybil’s voice bellowed through the rooms. I dashed through to assist.

“My Lady,” I stuttered, the sight before me wasn’t quite the same as the one which had left only a few hours earlier. My Lady was carrying her shoes, they had been white, with thin delicate straps atop stiletto heels, the heels were broken as were several of the straps and they were covered in what I was hoping was mud, but the smell confirmed it was something a little less pleasant. Her dress was splattered with the same stuff and the hem was ripped badly. Her hair, which had been piled high on top of her head, was sliding down one side, hair clips were sticking out and the odd strand was making a bid for freedom. Her make-up, which had almost been a work of art, was running down her face making her look like something from a horror film.

“Don’t just stand there, do something,” Sybil shouted.

“Would you like me to run you a bath?” I asked, taking the shoes from her and putting them outside the rooms. Someone would have the job of doing something with them in the morning, but that was for them to think of what. I would have thought the bin would be a good solution, but My Lady would probably expect them to be cleaned and repaired.

“A hot bath would be a start,” she said. “I would like to complain about the car they sent for me. The idiot took me to a convent of all places and they were holding a vigil, a silent vigil,” she added with a shudder, following me into the bathroom, discarding what was left of the dress as she went.

“Tell the manager I want that cleaned and repaired for tomorrow, I hold him totally responsible for the state it’s in,” she shouted.

“Of course My Lady,” I smiled, putting in the plug, turning on the taps and pouring some heavily scented bath oil into the running water.

Once my Lady had got into the bath, I thought I could leave her to it, but first she wanted her hair washing, then her back scrubbing, her feet massaged. I thought she’d finished when she demanded clean hot towels, but then she wanted her dressing gown and she had to have her hair dried and brushed. I was beginning to think that a maid could die of exhaustion working for her, when.

“I want feeding,” Sybil shouted. “Get me some food.”

“Of course My Lady,” I smiled. “What do you want”?

“Something to eat,” she shouted. “You decide what.”

“OK,” I said ringing room service.

“My Lady requires food,” I told the reception.

“What would she like?” the receptionist asked.

“Good question,” I said.

“Like that,” said the receptionist. “We’ll think of something. It will be along shortly.”

“And I need a drink,” Sybil shouted, walking into the sitting room in her bath robe, which was somewhat wet.

“Of course,” I said, pouring out a stiff drink with a large dose of the sleeping potion in it.

“That’s better,” said Sybil after she’d taken a large swig from the glass. “You keep those coming and I’ll forgive you anything.”

It took half an hour for the drink to have any effect, but by the time room service had arrived with the food, she was fast asleep and snoring loudly on the sofa.

“I’ve brought some food for your Lady,” said the person from room service, standing with a trolley at the door to the suite.

“Thank-you,” I smiled. “I’ll make sure that she gets them.”

“I can push it into the room,” he offered.

“I can manage, thank-you,” I smiled, pulling the trolley into the room and closing the door on him. Then waved my wand to erase his memory and to put a large tip in his pocket.

The cock was just starting to crow when I finished the last of the food that had been sent up. Sybil was still spark out and looked to be staying that way for a while. I slipped into the bedroom and pulled the mirror out of the wardrobe.

“Where is the Head Fairy,” I asked the mirror.

“I’m right behind you,” I heard her say. “And where are my gems?”

“Sybil is wearing them but she’s out cold on the sofa,” I hissed.

“Then it should be easy to get them,” she said snapping her fingers. They flew through the air and into their box, pulling the lid shut behind them.

“You’ve got them well trained,” I said as she put them in her pocket.

“Where to now?” she asked.

“You’ve got the Jewellery and I’ve got the mirror,” I said putting it into a shoulder bag. “I think it’s time to make a quick exit before someone wakes up.”

“I’d like to give her a piece of my mind,” muttered the Head Fairy.

“But, I think we’d do better leaving,” I said.

“I have to get these gems back,” said the Head Fairy. “And we need to do something with that mirror.”

“I promised it a place of honour on the wall of the Fairy Hall,” I said.

“I think I can organise that,” said the Head Fairy, taking the bag with the mirror in. “I shall be in touch,” she added before flying out of the window.

“I’d better get back to the shoe makers house and see how everyone is getting on,” I thought to myself waving my wand and finding myself standing in front of the shoe makers house.

“What took you so long?” asked the shoe maker. “We’ve been here for hours.”

“He’s in a grumpy mood because his wife is angry with him for letting their home get in such a mess,” said the ex door man.

“Have you seen inside this place?” asked the shoe makers wife.

“It was a mess,” I agreed, waving my wand again.

“Look,” said the wife, opening the door to a clean tidy house.

“I hope that is better,” I said.

“It is,” she smiled, giving her husband a big hug.

“Now, you two,” I said turning back to the two men.

“I need a job,” said the ex door man looking hopefully.

“And I want to get back to the village,” said the other.

“I can understand that, it looked a nice place, peaceful,” I said.

“The best beach in the country,” he said. “Golden sand that goes on for miles. I have a hotel there, now the curse is gone I can do it up and reopen it.

“I don’t suppose you’ll need a door man?” the ex door man asked hopefully.

“Of course,” said the other man. “And if you’d like a holiday there,” he said to me.

“A holiday, I could really do with a holiday,” I sighed.

“All we have to do is get there,” he said.

“That could be a problem,” said the ex door man.

“Not really,” I said waving my wand and suddenly we were standing on a beach next to a rather run down hotel, but the sun was shining and there were deck chairs which didn’t collapse when I sat on them.

“You enjoy the sun,” he said. “We’ll get you a drink.”

It wasn’t the hotel owner or his new door man who returned with a drink, it wasn’t exactly a drink either, it was a bucket of ice cold water thrown at me by the Head Fairy.

“What do you think you are doing lolling around in the sun?” the Head Fairy snapped.

“I had to make sure all the loose ends were tied up,” I said, trying to ring some of the water out of my dress.

“Elucidate,” the Head Fairy snapped. “I see you sleeping on a deck chair, not tying up loose ends.”

“I had to make sure that everyone got back to the shoe makers house. Then I had to stop the row between the shoe maker and his wife,” I explained.

“It wasn’t necessary to use your wand,” she snapped.

“It speeded up the clean up job,” I said. “And then the two other men, one wanted to go home, he owns a hotel and offered the ex door man a job there.”

“Did you have to go back with them?” she asked.

“Had to check that the village was back to normal,” I said.

“And I have to explain all of this to the Fairy Council,” the Head Fairy snapped. “So you are coming with me to explain your part in this whole sorry affair.”

“Now?” I asked.

“Now,” she said and with one snap of her fingers we were standing in front of the Fairy Council and the looks on their faces looked anything but happy.

By Janice Nye © 2019