The Fairy Godmother Part 12

Back at the Hall of the Fairy Council again. Got to say the old place was beginning to look rather familiar and some of the mystery was beginning to ware off it, which is more than could be said about the cob webs. I was beginning to think that the place could do with a good clean up when I noticed the Head of the Fairy Council coughing.

“Do we have your attention now?” the Head of the Fairy Council asked rather pointedly.

“Of course,” I replied.

“You were looking at the ceiling,” she said.

“I’ve never seen so many cob webs,” I said looking up, probably a mistake now I think of it.

“No one in this room looks at the ceiling, no one looks at anything other than me,” said the Head of the Fairy Council. Her voice getting louder with each word, till the force of it shook the cob webs and the dust fell off them causing her to cough long and loud.

“Would you like a glass of water?” I asked when at last she stopped coughing enough to draw breath.

“Than-you. No,” she sighed. “We have observed you efforts with the last job.”

“I rescued the children,” I said. “That didn’t happen in the original story, I know, but I always thought that it shouldn’t have ended like that.”

“I always thought that as well,” said Enid, the Head Fairy.

“When I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it,” the Head of the Fairy Council replied, glaring at the Head Fairy.

“If I’m not wanted,” Enid replied.

“No, you aren’t,” said the Head of the Fairy Council, waving her wand. Enid vanished.

“I shall give you another job, but this time you can do it without the Head Fairy watching over you and waving her wand when you can’t,” the Head of the Fairy Council said, looking at me. “We will provide you with a mobile phone so that you can ring for assistance, should it be needed,” she waved her wand and a phone appeared on the table in front of her. “It is said to be tough,” she said looking at it. “Don’t break it. You will find some contacts on it. There is one number for me, another for Enid.”

I picked up the phone and she waved her wand, the last thing I heard her say was.

“And someone sort out those blasted cob webs.”

I found myself on top of a wall cupboard in a kitchen, the least of whose problems was cob webs, though there were plenty of them. The envelope was standing up in the grease next to me. I opened it carefully and pulled out the card.

His life is a worse mess than this kitchen.

It needs to be turned around.

You need to find a constructive role for him

and then point him in the right direction.

I unstuck myself from the top of the kitchen cupboard and flew down to the work surface and looked round the room.

“This needs to be sorted,” I muttered as the kitchen door opened and he walked in, saw me and picked up a bottle of tomato ketchup.

"Fairies taste good, especially with ketchup" he said advancing towards me, but stopped short when I blasted the bottle with the laser cannon I had in my pocket.

"Next target is something you don't want me to hit," I said.

"Do you mean me?" he asked hesitantly.

"Part of you," I said taking aim.

"I heard vegetarian sausages aer very good as well," he added.

"You're learning," I smiled.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you,” he said cautiously.

“You were going to eat me,” I said. “And the only reason you haven't is because I destroyed you bottle of ketchup.”

“It was organic, the last in the shop,” he said looking sadly at the smouldering remains of the bottle still clasped in his hand.

“And you think that makes it better,” I snapped. “You were going to eat me!”

“Put that way, no it doesn't make it any better,” he sighed binning what was left of the ketchup bottle.

“And you can clean the floor whilst you're at it,” I told him, still aiming the laser canon in his direction.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because this place is a shit tip,” I replied. “And you have to start somewhere.”

“What's it to you,” he muttered.

“I, for my sins, am your Fairy Godmother,” I replied.

“And what are these sins?” he asked, getting the mop and bucket out of the cupboard and then fighting the cobwebs off to get the mop out of the bucket.

“You'll need some hot water in that and some detergent,” I said peering into the bucket.

“I know that,” he said. “I'm not an imbecile.”

“You have proof?” I asked.

“You are changing the subject,” he said turning the hot tap on and running it till the water turned warm before he put the bucket under it. “What are your sins?”

“I'd rather not talk about that,” I muttered between clenched teeth.

“You're the one who mentioned them in the first place,” he smiled. “So deep down, you really need to talk about them to someone, so it might as well be me.”

“That's enough water,” I told him as the bucket got to two thirds full. “You have to leave enough space to put the mop head in without overflowing the bucket.”

“I know that and you are changing the subject again,” he said. “What are your sins? Come to that why are you my Fairy Godmother and aren't you supposed to help me?”

“It's a long story,” I said hoping that would put him off asking more questions.

“I've got time,” he smiled.

“Which is why you need a fairy godmother,” I explained.

“That and other reasons,” I thought.

“And someone choose you for the job, presumably because you upset someone over something. You weren't being diplomatic were you?” he smiled.

“I don't do diplomatic,” I snapped.

“I noticed that, so did the ketchup bottle,” he said.

“Shouldn't you be mopping?” I reminded him, looking pointedly at the mop and bucket.

“Couldn't you summon up some magic and get the mop to do that?” he asked.

“Difficult as they took my magic wand,” I thought.

“This type of help is called Hard love,” I replied. “I tell you what to do and you do it, that way, when your life turns around you know you did it by your own efforts. I didn't just wave my wand and make things better for you.”

“Where is your wand?” he asked. “They didn't take it from you, for your sins?”

I glared at him, he was being a bit too bright for my liking.

“They took your wand and told you to turn my life around, like they were setting both of us up for failure,” he said thoughtfully.

“We'll have the last laugh on that bunch,” I said. “Now clean that floor,” I added waving the laser canon from him to the bucket.

“OK, I'm cleaning,” he said plunging the mop into the steaming water. “But wouldn't this be better if we worked together.”

“No one works with me,” I muttered.

“No one works with me either,” he smiled

“You don't work,” I laughed.

“Then how about we both try something new, I'll work and you can work with me and we'll both make them eat their words.”

“OK,” I said slowly. “But if you mention tomato ketchup again.”

“It will not pass my lips,” he said hurriedly.

“It better not,” I replied, putting the laser canon back in my pocket.

“How do you fit a thing that size into your pocket, it's so much smaller?” he asked.

“That's for me to know,” I snapped.

“And me to find out,” he finished.

“Only if I put you in the pocket as well,” I replied.

“Would that be wise, I mean you do have a laser canon in there?” he said squeezing the mop out.

“You've missed a bit by the sink,” I said pointing it out to him.

“That's been there for ages,” he replied vaguely.

“So, it's about time it wasn't there any more and before you ask, I have more than one pocket,” she smiled. “Cleaning you and your home up is just the start of my work and there seems to be plenty of it to do.”

“I don't see you doing anything,” he muttered.

“I am here to tell you what needs to be done, you do it. Quite simple really,” I snapped. “Are you going to leave that mop there?”

“I've finished the floor, including the bit by the sink,” he replied.

“You squeeze out the mop again and then empty the bucket in the drain outside,” I said patiently.

“We are on the 15^th floor,” he replied.

“15^th!” I muttered.

“Didn't you notice when you arrived and by the way, how did you get in here?” he asked.

“The Fairy Council sent me directly here, or rather on top of that cupboard,” I replied pointing. “And it is disgusting up there, no excuse whatsoever, it needs a good clean, as does the rest of the place if this is anything to judge by,” I replied.

by Janice Nye © 2019