The Fairy Godmother Part 102

“Are you King Rufus’s valet?” Myrtle asked of a rather startled looking man in a formal suit, holding a mobile phone to his ear.

“Yes,” he stuttered. “I don’t mean to be rude, but who are you?”

“I am Violet, Head of the Fairy Godmothers,” said Violet. “You rang me.”

“Yes, but I thought you’d just send someone to handle things, I didn’t expect you to come yourself! Or that you’d bring people with you,” he added looking quizzically at Myrtle and Rosemary and then back at Myrtle.

“Today is your lucky day,” Violet smiled. “We have a new apprentice Fairy Godmother come to see what the work is like,” Violet nodded towards Rosemary.

“Hello, my name is Rosemary,” she smiled.

“And this is Myrtle, who is here to supervise her,” Violet added.

“And Violet, the Head of the Fairy Godmothers, is here to supervise me because this is my first day as a supervisor,” smiled Myrtle.

“And also because my computer decided to do an update and if I am lucky it should be finished in a day or two,” said Violet, deciding that the whole truth would be a good idea.

“We have that sort of problem with computers as well,” sighed the Valet. “Do you have someone who knows about them to sort out the problems that always occur when you have a big update?”

“Yes, Ethel,” Violet smiled. “I left my laptop with her, she knows what’s what in that regards, but she does seem to get things done better if I don’t watch over her all the time.”

“Take good care of Ethel,” said the Valet. “We had someone like that, his name was Liam,” he sighed.

“What happened to Liam?” asked Myrtle.

“Is this relevant to the problem with King Rufus?” asked Rosemary. “Because from where I am standing we are in danger of getting side tracked into small talk.”

“It might be,” said Myrtle.

“Don’t interrupt,” Violet told Rosemary.

“He had a row with Rufus and left,” sighed the Valet. “The computer system went down two days later. Rufus said he could sort it, but everything just got worse and nothing he did seemed to make any difference, all the files started to delete themselves, including the arrangements for the conference. That is when he decided that he didn’t want to be King any more and that he was going fishing.”

“Has he gone fishing,” asked Violet. “Or just threatened to go?”

“He’s gone,” sighed the Valet. “And before you ask, no we don’t know where he has gone to.”

“And you don’t have anyone who would know?” asked Myrtle.

“Liam usually went with him,” said the Valet. “And we can’t find him either.”

“So what would you do?” Violet asked Rosemary.

“Go to my tutor and tell them I don’t understand the problem,” said Rosemary.

“That is not an option,” Myrtle smiled.

“So what will you do?” the valet asked. “Because the conference starts tomorrow morning.”

“First, I think we should get Ethel over here to sort out your computer system,” said Myrtle.

“But she’s busy working on my laptop,” said Violet.

“That will spend at least twenty-four hours churning through uploading files, so she wont need to do anything to it till it has finished doing that,” Myrtle smiled.

“If it’s the update I think it is, it could be up to thirty-six hours doing that,” said Rosemary.

“In the mean time she could be here looking through the computer system to see what Liam did to spanner it and then find out what Rufus did to make it worse,” said Myrtle.

“You think that Liam did this?” asked the Valet.

“He’s the computer geek,” said Rosemary. “So he’d know how to make a right mess of the computer system.”

“Then Rufus thinks he knows how to sort it, makes it worse and decides to head off and leave us to sort it out for him, again,” said the Valet.

“Does he do this often?” asked Violet.

“It isn’t usually the computers,” said the Valet. “But, it’s like this conference thing. He was out hunting, forgot where the boarders were and before he knew it, he’d ridden through land belonging to at least three of our neighbours, creating a fair amount of chaos in the process.”

“Hence the conference,” said Myrtle.

“He said he’d taken care to stay in our boarders,” sighed the Valet. “But they had tracked his route and it clearly shows that that is not the case.”

“And the tracking system, can we access it?” asked Myrtle.

“Wouldn’t be much good if you did,” sighed the Valet. “That was the first of the systems to crash.”

“So first things first,” said Violet. “I’ll ring Ethel.”

“But what do we do?” asked the Valet.

“You have important guests due to arrive,” said Myrtle. “You must do the usual things that you do to make them welcome.”

“They will expect to see the King,” said the Valet.

“The phone isn’t working,” said Violet.

“The signal tends to be a bit up and down,” said the Valet.

“I shall nip back and talk to Ethel,” said Myrtle giving her wand a quick flick.

“I always thought that Fairy Godmothers were very slim and graceful,” said the Valet, looking slightly worried.

“Normally they are,” said Violet. “Myrtle is a special case, she happens to be pregnant.”

“So she didn’t eat all the pies,” he laughed. Rosemary looked confused.

“No, she didn’t,” said Violet. “Do you need our assistance with preparing for your esteemed guests?”

“No, the staff know what to do,” he smiled.

“Then may I suggest that you take us to the King’s rooms so that we may see if we can find any clues as to where he has gone,” Violet smiled.

“I’ve looked around and found nothing,” said the Valet. “I wouldn’t want you to waste your time.”

“We have to check everything out,” said Rosemary, sounding as if she was quoting from a text book. “Even if it is only to confirm what we have already been told. We are, after all, the professionals and we may notice something that everyone else has missed.”

“If you insist,” muttered the Valet. “But I think you are wasting your time and the first of the delegates will be here shortly.”

“All the more reason to get started,” Violet smiled. “Is there any special ceremony planned to great them?”

“Not as far as I know,” said the Valet. “They will be arriving early so they can start work fresh in the morning.”

“Then we had better get to work now,” Violet smiled. “Lead on,” she added to the Valet.

By Janice Nye © 2021

The Fairy Godmother Part 101

“You don’t have to do this,” said James.

“I am a Fairy Godmother,” Myrtle explained slowly. “There is nothing wrong with me.”

“You are pregnant!” James shouted.

“A perfectly normal, biological condition,” Myrtle interrupted him.

“One which most fairies avoid,” he pointed out.

“I have asked your colleagues and they say there is no reason why I can’t go back to work now that I have stopped being sick all the time,” Myrtle smiled. “I know you worry, but I will be all right.”

“Some of the jobs you’ve told me about have been rather risky,” James reminded her.

“Don’t worry about that Violet is sending me on some of the more sedate jobs,” Myrtle sighed.

“I didn’t think you did any sedate jobs,” James replied.

“They are just standard things, the sort of thing that apprentices train on,” said Myrtle. “Mine will be more of a supervisory role, I stop them before they make a total mess of things. That’s the idea.”

“And if everything goes right?” asked James.

“I just sit around in the background observing them,” said Myrtle. “And getting bored.”

“I like the sound of that,” said James.

“So can I go to work?” asked Myrtle.

“Only as long as you promise not to do any heavy lifting,” said James.

“What do you think I have a wand for?” asked Myrtle. “I don’t lift things. I make them lift themselves.”

“OK,” sighed James. “But I want you to ring back and tell me how things are going.”

“If there’s a problem it might not be possible to ring back,” said Myrtle. “But I will ring back as often as I can,” she added quickly.

“Promise to come home the moment you start feeling tired,” said James.

“Stop mollycoddling her,” said Enid, appearing next to them.

“What did I tell you about appearing?” Myrtle asked Enid.

“Not to do so before breakfast,” said Enid looking pointedly at the breakfast dishes sitting in the sink waiting to be washed.

“I’ve got to go,” said James looking at his watch. “Don’t do anything that you know I wouldn’t like you to do,” he added. “But if you could wash the dishes, before you go.”

“You need to let her get on with her work,” said Enid. “You will regret it if you don’t.”

“Is that a threat Mother?” asked Myrtle.

“I don’t make threats, you know that,” said Enid, trying to look innocent.

“No you carry them out,” said Myrtle.

“It saves time,” Enid smiled. “And in general, it stops people thinking about disobeying me the next time. Now, would you like me to walk with you to work?”

“Better do the dishes first,” said Myrtle, looking at the sink. Enid waved her wand, the dishes washed themselves, dried and took a quick walk to the cupboards and the place they waited in till the next meal.

“Thanks Mum,” said Myrtle.

“Good morning Violet,” said Enid and Myrtle together. “We’ve come to see what work you have for us.”

“Right,” said Violet, looking down at her laptop, not that she needed to, but it did give her a moment to gather her thoughts. “Enid, you were suspended till you did a course.”

“I know, the one on not taking advantage of my position,” Enid interrupted.

“You haven’t done it yet,” Violet reminded her.

“I don’t see that there is anything that lot could teach me that I don’t already know,” Enid blustered.

“How about following the rules you claim to know so well,” said Violet. “It’s one thing knowing the rules, but you have to follow them.”

“This is stupid,” said Enid. “I know the rules, I’d fly through the exam.”

“Prove it,” said Violet. “Because you are not getting any work till you have handed me the exam certificate. And it better be a good grade, non of this scrapping through.”

“Go on Mum,” said Myrtle. “If you think you know it all, it should be a doddle.”

“Fine,” muttered Enid. “But this is a total waste of time.”

“The sooner you do it, the sooner you will be back at work,” said Violet. Enid waved her wand and vanished.

“Let me know how she gets on,” said Myrtle, frowning slightly.

“It all depends on how much she knows,” said Violet. “They have just added a few new things to it which she may not be aware of.”

“And if she listens to the lecturers rather than argue with them,” Myrtle smiled.

“I hope I am doing the right thing,” sighed Violet.

“Would you do anything differently if she was anyone else?” asked Myrtle.

“No,” Violet replied.

“Exactly, you have to treat her just like any other Fairy Godmother,” said Myrtle.

“Just like I have to treat you like any other pregnant Fairy Godmother?” said Violet.

“I wouldn’t expect you to do anything else,” Myrtle smiled.

“Meet Rosemary,” said Violet ushering forward a rather small, nervous fairy. “She has just graduated from the Fairy Godmother school.”

“I came top in my class,” Rosemary stuttered.

“Yes,” said Violet. “One of the most talented pupils they have had in a long time.”

“Nice to meet you,” said Myrtle.

“I’ve read up on all the work you have done,” said Rosemary. “I’m not entirely sure that I would have tackled them all in the same way, but I’m sure we could discuss that.”

“Things aren’t always so clear cut when you are in the field,” said Myrtle. “Sometimes you just have to improvise.”

“There are guidelines on problem solving,” said Rosemary. “Shouldn’t we stick to them?”

“The guidelines are a good place to start,” said Myrtle. “However, they don’t always fit the situation and it is necessary to learn how to adapt in order to solve the problem.”

“I’ll have to think about that,” said Rosemary

“And you want me to observe her?” Myrtle asked Violet.

“And step in should the need arise,” Violet smiled.

“Why should it be necessary for her to step in?” Rosemary asked Violet.

“That’s a good question,” Myrtle smiled at Violet.

“We have to allow for the unexpected,” said Violet. “But as it is unexpected, we can’t say what it will be.”

“Right,” said Rosemary frowning and obviously thinking over what she’d been told.

“So, what is our first job?” asked Myrtle.

“It’s a simple task,” said Violet, pressing a few keys on her laptop. “When I can find it.”

“Do you want me to look?” asked Rosemary eagerly.

“Do you want a hand?” asked Ethel, looking up from her computer screen.

“The sodding thing’s hung,” Violet snapped, picking it up and looking as if she felt like hurling the machine across the room, but couldn’t think of a direction to throw it.

“It’s probably the big update,” said Ethel, carefully taking the machine out of Violet’s hands.

“So how long will it be before I can use it this time?” asked Violet.

“A day, maybe two,” said Ethel. “It is a big update and it has been causing problems for some people, I have done a lot of research into how to sort any, should they happen.”

“And what am I supposed to do whilst I am waiting?” asked Violet.

“You could always come with us,” said Myrtle. “Then you can observe me, observing Rosemary.”

“Doing what?” asked Violet. “I was just about to give you your job and the thing went down!”

“Don’t you know what it is?” asked Myrtle.

“I can’t keep everything in my head,” Violet snapped. Ethel ducked down and concentrated on the offending laptop and Violet’s phone rang.

“Hello,” said Violet, struggling not to snap at the caller.

“Hello,” came a voice.

“Who are you?” asked Violet.

“I am the valet of King Rufus the third,” he replied.

“And to what do I owe the honour of this call?” asked Violet.

“We weren’t sure who else to turn to,” the Valet replied. “The King has decided that he has had enough of being a King and he wants to go fishing.”

“Is that a problem?” asked Violet.

“This is a big week for us, we have delegates from all the neighbouring countries coming to discuss boarder issues. If we aren’t careful they will just divide the kingdom up between themselves and that will be the end of our country,” sobbed the valet.

“That way the King wouldn’t be a King any more, so he would get his wish,” said Rosemary. “That would conform to the least interference principle.”

“There is more at stake than the wishes of a mere King,” said Myrtle. “There is what his people think about the idea of being divided between his neighbours without a bye your leave to them.”

“You are right,” said Violet.

“So what are you going to do?” asked the Valet.

“We will be with you in a second,” said Violet.

“Thank-you so very much,” said the Valet hanging up the call.

“Shouldn’t we work out a plan of action or something first?” asked Rosemary. “It is what we did in class.”

“Sometimes there isn’t the time,” smiled Myrtle. “Sometimes you just have to hit the ground running and fly by the seat of your pants,” she added, waving her wand.

By Janice Nye © 2021

The Fairy Godmother Part 100

 

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Maud asked, looking rather perplexed.

“I know,” sighed Myrtle. “I was going to ask for fried mushrooms as soon as I got back here, but fried food, the smell at least, tends to bring back anything else I ate before. I will have them as soon as I can,” she added.

“Enid said you were pregnant,” said Maud.

“It isn’t really showing yet,” said Myrtle. “If you don’t count me dashing off to the toilet to throw up,” she added, putting a hand over her mouth and dashing off.

“Perhaps eating outside might be a better idea,” suggested Maud to James. “The smell of cooking does tend to hang around in here.”

“I think that might be a good idea,” said James. “I’ll wait till she comes back, she can get confused easily.”

“It is a bit of a side effect with fairies,” said Maud. “I think that is why some of them transfer their babies to others.”

“Myrtle is determined to carry this one all the way,” said James.

“Do you think that is a good idea?” asked Maud.

“If you’d asked me that, even a couple of months ago, I would have said yes, no doubt,” he said glancing at the bathroom door. “Seeing the effect it has had on her, I’m not so sure.”

“It isn’t easy watching someone you love go through this,” said Maud.

“I didn’t think I’d eaten that much carrot,” said Myrtle rejoining them.

“Maud suggested that we eat outside,” said James. “The cooking smells don’t go that far.”

“You find us a table and I’ll be with you shortly,” said Myrtle, putting her hand over her mouth and dashing back to the bathroom.

“So she wants poached egg, chips and chocolate custard?” asked Maud.

“With the little sprinkles on top,” said James.

“And what would you like?” she asked.

“The same, but without the custard,” he smiled.

“Or the sprinkles,” Maud added.

“No sprinkles,” James agreed.

“And to drink?” Maud asked.

“I would like a coffee,” said James. “But the smell will set her off again and I would like some food to stay down long enough to do some good.”

“So what will you have?” asked Maud.

“She tends to like mint tea,” said James. “Better make that two.”

“You go find a table,” said Maud. “We will have this lot brought out to you as soon as it’s ready.”

“Thank-you,” said James, glancing towards the door again.

“Don’t worry, it wont last much longer,” said Maud.

“That’s what my colleagues keep telling me,” said James. “It’s not so easy when it’s someone you love,” he added heading to the door.

“I don’t know who’s having it worst,” said one of the serving girls.

“This could be an only child,” said Maud.

“If Enid turns up,” said James pausing in the doorway. “Tell her where we are.”

“Are you sure?” asked Maud.

“Not entirely, but tell her anyway,” said James. “We can’t keep avoiding the family.”

“That’s brave of you,” Maud smiled.

“I can always throw up on them,” said Myrtle, stepping out of the bathroom, looking slightly brighter.

“Don’t even joke about it,” said James, dashing off to the bathroom.

“I thought I’d done enough for both of us,” said Myrtle.

“There’s a table in the sun, round the side of the building,” said Maud. “Nice view of the river.”

“I could do with a sit down,” said Myrtle.

“I’ll take you round there,” said the girl, taking Myrtle by the hand.

“Thank-you,” said Myrtle, smiling.

“Which do you think is best?” asked the girl. “Going through the pregnancy or giving the baby to someone else to incubate?”

“I wouldn’t be doing this if I thought it was better for someone else to incubate it, would I?” Myrtle smiled.

“I suppose not,” said the girl. “But so many opt out of all the birth stuff.”

“Probably because there is so little support for those who want to carry their own child, it is so much easier to opt out of the messy stuff and just pick up the baby afterwards,” said Myrtle. “I think it is a bit rough on those who have a baby dumped on them.”

“I thought the surrogate Mothers agreed to it,” said the girl stunned.

“Some people now are beginning to ask permission, but it is a recent idea. Usually the baby is just magicked into place with a baby that is due at about the same time and then they disappeared it off afterwards, pretending that there was only ever one baby,” said Myrtle.

“That is rough,” said the girl moving a seat out for Myrtle.

“Thank-you,” said Myrtle as the girl headed back in to find James and tell him where she was.

“It isn’t showing yet and you look rough,” said Enid.

“Nice to see you as well,” said Myrtle.

“How long have you been back?” asked Enid.

“We got back last night,” said Myrtle.

“That’s not so bad then,” said Enid.

“We’ve just got married,” said Myrtle. “I would have thought you’d know we’d need a bit of time together.”

“Seems to me you spent a bit too much time together before you got married,” said Enid.

“If you are only here to say “I told you so”, or something like that,” said Myrtle.

“No,” said Enid. “I wanted to make sure you were OK. I had terrible morning sickness with you.”

“Looks like that is something we have in common,” Myrtle sighed.

“I had hoped you wouldn’t inherit that,” sighed Enid. “It doesn’t help things.”

“I don’t suppose you have any suggestions on how to keep my food down?” asked Myrtle.

“I was given this lucky charm,” said Enid, taking a necklace off and handing it to Myrtle. “I didn’t think it would work, but I was never sick when I wore that.”

“If that’s the case,” said Myrtle. “Who am I to argue,” she added putting the necklace on.

“I wasn’t sure how you’d take it,” Enid smiled.

“I’m desperate,” said Myrtle. “I’ll try anything to keep my food down,” she added as James and the food arrived.

“Poached egg and chips for sir,” said the girl. Placing them on the table in front of an empty chair. “Poached egg, chips and chocolate custard, with sprinkles, for Madam.”

“I’m not surprised you are feeling sick,” said Enid. “Poached egg and chocolate custard!”

“You forgot the chips,” said Myrtle. “And the sprinkles.”

“How can you eat that!” Enid exclaimed.

“It tastes good to me,” smiled Myrtle.

“Can I get anything for you?” the girl asked Enid.

“No thank-you, I’m not staying,” said Enid, as Myrtle tucked into the chips. “My stomach is a bit off, I’ll talk with you later,” she added, waving her wand and disappearing.

“Are you OK?” asked James.

“Mum gave me her lucky charm to stop me being sick,” said Myrtle.

“Looks like it’s working,” he said watching her tuck in to her meal enthusiastically for the first time in what felt like ages.

By Janice Nye © 2021

The Fairy Godmother Part 99

“That’s the tenth time you have checked round the rooms in the last hour,” James sighed. “It isn’t as if there are many places for her to hide.

“I know you think I’m being paranoid,” said Myrtle, checking beneath the sofa before she sat down.

“No, I don’t,” said James, taking I quick look behind the sofa and wondering if it would look better pushed up against the wall. “I know that your Mother could turn up at any moment and it is spoiling our honeymoon.”

“Do you think I should tell her?” asked Myrtle.

“It’s either that or use some magic to block her,” he smiled.

“I’m not sure anything I know would do much more than slow her down and irritate her,” said Myrtle. “I could ask Ethel.”

“I would have thought telling your Mother might be an idea,” James suggested.

“I’ve tried telling her things before, she takes it personal and gets upset,” said Myrtle.

“She will take it personal if you try to block her coming to see you,” James reminded her.

“I’m on to a bit of a loose loose here aren’t I,” said Myrtle, fishing out her phone.

“Who are you ringing?” asked James.

“I thought I’d try Velvet,” said Myrtle. “She is my fathers second wife,” Myrtle explained when James looked a little perplexed.

“Velvet,” smiled Myrtle when her call was answered.

“I have been hearing some rumours about you getting married, your grandmother and is furious,” Velvet replied. “Tell me it isn’t true.”

“It is all true,” said Myrtle.

“Tell me all about it,” said Velvet.

“Mother told the family I was going to get married,” Myrtle started.

“I’d heard that,” said Velvet. “I presume there was a big family get together to decide about the wedding.”

“Yes,” said Myrtle. “Mother thought I would want to be there.”

“They wouldn’t like that,” laughed Velvet.

“They didn’t,” said Myrtle. “So I told them to plan what they wanted, I wouldn’t be going.”

“That’s right girl, it’s your wedding you should be the one who says what’s what,” Velvet agreed. “So what happened next?”

“James, Mother and I went off to the little church where she got married and got married,” said Myrtle. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“It would have been nice to have been there, but there are a lot who would say that,” said Velvet. “I’m just glad you have found someone, who by all accounts is a very nice person. Why are you ringing me? Aren’t you on your honeymoon?”

“We are on our honeymoon,” said Myrtle looking at James. “It’s just, Mother turned up.”

“She isn’t there now is she?” asked Velvet.

“Not now,” said Myrtle. “But she just doesn’t seem to understand that turning up unannounced, the way she did this morning, on someone’s honeymoon, isn’t right.”

“Not if she wants any grandchildren,” said Velvet. “Do you want me to tell her that.”

“A bit late for that,” Myrtle replied.

“You’re pregnant!” exclaimed Velvet.

“She knew before me, so embarrassing,” Myrtle explained.

“So you would like me to try and stop her popping in at any moment?” asked Velvet.

“If you would, I’d ask Ethel, but she’d only get annoyed with her,” Myrtle sighed.

“She’ll get annoyed with me as well,” said Velvet.

“She might not realise what you are doing,” said Myrtle. “And anyway, you are more than a match for Enid, Ethel sort of folds up and tells her everything she wants to know.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Velvet laughed. “And I will do my best to keep her busy.”

“Should I get Ethel to do something as well, in case she suspects something?” Myrtle asked.

“It might be a good idea, with luck she wont notice, but in your shoes I wouldn’t chance it,” Velvet replied hanging up the phone.

“Belt and braces idea?” asked James.

“That’s the thinking,” said Myrtle. “I’d use something else as well if I could think of it.”

“Ethel,” said Myrtle as soon as the phone was answered.

“Myrtle! I’m sorry, really sorry, but Enid threatened to send me somewhere where they don’t have any internet or computers with the idea that I could explain to them what it all is and all that without being able to show them it. It would have been a nightmare,” Ethel started, the words almost falling over each other in her haste to get them out.

“It’s OK,” said Myrtle. “I should have guessed she’d turn up.”

“I don’t know what to suggest to help,” said Ethel.

“You said you could blank the signal,” said Myrtle.

“She’d guess,” said Ethel. “And the first I’d know about it, I would be in the back of beyond with no internet to call for help.”

“Velvet is going to try and keep her away,” said Myrtle. “I just need to find a way to slow her down and give me a warning if she decides to drop in.”

“Her wand has been playing up a little lately,” said Ethel. “I said it could do with a service, but she said it would have to wait for a few weeks.”

“Could you put a fault on it?” asked Myrtle. “Nothing dangerous, just, pausing her mid-flight or something, you could tell her it needs more memory to stop it buffering.”

“I could do that,” said Ethel. “But she would need a courtesy wand whilst we had it and the only ones we have at the moment have a very limited range.”

“That sounds perfect,” said Myrtle. “If you could keep her wand till after we come back I would be eternally grateful. Tell her there’s been a problem with the supply chain, held up at customs, factory caught fire, something like that.”

“There was a factory caught fire the other day,” said Ethel.

“I hope no one was hurt,” said Myrtle.

“No, but all the chips were burnt,” said Ethel.

“Perfect, you can tell her it needs new chips and the chip factory burnt down,” said Myrtle.

“OK, as long as she doesn’t find out what sort of chips they were,” said Ethel.

“What sort where they?” asked Myrtle.

“Banana chips,” Ethel laughed. “When do you want me to do it?”

“Now,” said Myrtle. “If she finds out, tell her it was my fault. If you aren’t there when I get back, I’ll make her tell me where you are and bring you back myself.”

“Thank-you,” said Ethel hanging up.

“That sounded a bit like belt, braces and something else as well,” smiled James, putting the breakfast tray outside and hanging a do not disturb sign on the door handle.

“I can’t make any promises, but we should have a warning before she turns up,” said Myrtle. “And I could put a timed delay on the bedroom door.”

“Whatever it takes,” said James as she waved her wand.

By Janice Nye © 2021

The Fairy Godmother Pat 98

“Good morning sleepy head,” murmured James, stroking Myrtle’s hair.

“Morning?” Myrtle replied. “What time is it?”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s our honeymoon,” James smiled.

“Honeymoon,” muttered Myrtle. “Like that’s going to stop her,” she added, getting out of bed and grabbing her dressing gown.

“Stop who?” asked James.

“Mother,” Myrtle replied.

“And what is it that she’s likely to do? It isn’t as if she’d come here, it’s our honeymoon!” James smiled.

“That wouldn’t stop her, she wouldn’t think twice,” said Myrtle checking the mirror to make sure she looked decent.

“And how is she going to find us?” asked James. “Even I don’t know where we are.”

“It is always possible to trace a Fairy Godmother, if you know how,” said Myrtle.

“You asked Ethel not to tell her,” James reminded Myrtle.

“I know, but she’s terrified of Mother, she’d just have to ask and Ethel will tell her everything, right down to the room number,” said Myrtle.

“So what are you going to do?” asked James.

“I’ll look round the rooms and see if she’s here,” said Myrtle.

“Then I’d better get dressed and join you,” said James getting out of the bed.

“That would be a good idea,” stuttered Myrtle as he pulled his dressing gown on. Myrtle had one last look in the mirror to check that she was decent and one last check that James was as well and then she opened the door to the living room.

“I was beginning to wonder if I aught to wake you up,” said Enid. “Don’t want your breakfast to go cold.”

“Did Ethel tell you where we were?” asked Myrtle.

“She did try telling me some rubbish about you asking her not to tell me, but I said she must have got it wrong,” Enid smiled.

“It is our honeymoon,” Myrtle explained.

“I know, just the time when a young girl might want her mothers advice on something or other,” said Enid. “You really aught to start on your breakfast, especially in your condition.”

“If you don’t know what the advice would be about, how can you possibly provide it?” asked James, trying to remind Enid he was there.

“I couldn’t possibly say what advice, not with a man in the room,” Enid smiled.

“What do you mean, my condition?” asked Myrtle.

“Well, you’re eating for two now,” said Enid.

“How can you possibly tell,” said James. “There isn’t any test that can tell so soon after.”

“Perhaps not, but I am a fairy godmother and therefore I can tell,” Enid replied smugly.

“That’s rubbish, isn’t it?” James asked Myrtle.

“No,” said Myrtle. “And she’s right.”

“So, do you want to carry the baby or shall I find someone to carry it for you?” asked Enid.

“I will carry my own baby, just like you did,” said Myrtle.

“And afterwards?” asked Enid.

“I will look after my own baby,” said Myrtle. “I’m not dumping it in a home.”

“That’s all very well for you to say,” Enid replied, looking at James.

“I think we need to talk about our baby,” said James. “And by we, I mean Myrtle and I.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Enid smiled. “I wont interrupt.”

“No you wont interrupt, because you are leaving,” said Myrtle.

“But!” stuttered Enid.

“If you are here nothing will stop you putting your two pennyworth in, if we aren’t careful we wont get a word in sideways. So, I’m sorry Mother, but I will have to ask you to leave. We will let you know what we have decided to do later,” said Myrtle.

“I know when I’m not wanted,” said Enid, waving her wand.

“And no listening in,” shouted Myrtle.

“As if I’d do such a thing,” Enid’s voice echoed round the room.

“Can you really tell after such a short time?” asked James.

“Remember when we got rid of Mum for about an hour,” said Myrtle.

“I said we’d better make the most of our time,” James smiled.

“I think we made more of it than we thought,” smiled Myrtle, patting her stomach. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not, as long as I am part of this,” he replied.

“What do you mean?” asked Myrtle.

“I want to be there for you, for the pregnancy, morning sickness, whatever. For the birth. You don’t mind giving birth do you?” James asked.

“When I said I wanted to carry my baby, our baby, I meant right through the birth and afterwards. I wont be handing our little one over to anyone one else to bring up,” said Myrtle.

“I’m glad to hear that,” said James. “And I want to be there with you, every step of the way.”

“Get the sick bucket, could you two be any more soppy,” said Enid appearing next to them. “The family aren’t going to think much of this. You’ve got married without telling them and now you are pregnant and want to carry the child and care for it. How are you going to carry on as a Godmother!”

“You managed,” said Myrtle.

“I couldn’t work, not once it started to show and once you were born, I had to find baby sitters, it just didn’t work,” said Enid. “That’s why I took you to the nursery. It was the worst day of my life.”

“We will make it work,” said James.

“And what can you do, give up working as a Doctor?” asked Enid.

“There are plenty of married couples who carry on working even when they have children,” said James. “We will find a way.”

“Exactly,” said Myrtle. “Times have changed, we will find a way. You could always help with a bit of baby sitting.”

“Baby sitting, what do you mean by baby sitting?” asked Enid.

“Just looking after the baby for an afternoon or a day or something,” said Myrtle. “We’ll make sure that you know what to do.”

“I have looked after a baby before,” snapped Enid.

“How long for?” asked James.

“Nearly a month,” said Enid. “Well, eleven days and nights.”

“You can catch up with all the things you missed out on with me,” said Myrtle. “Secure in the knowledge that at the end of the day you can hand baby back to me.”

“I think that could be do able,” said Enid.

“You could talk to Velvet about it,” Myrtle suggested.

“She does know a thing or two about bringing up children and pregnancy,” said Enid. “You might be well advised to talk to her yourself.”

“I’ll do that, after the honeymoon,” said Myrtle.

“Don’t you want to go now?” asked Enid. “There is no time like the present.”

“I think, I want to spend time with my husband,” said Myrtle. “I can talk to Velvet after the honeymoon is over.”

“As you wish,” said Enid.

“That doesn’t mean that you can’t talk to her now,” suggested James.

“Yes, well, if you don’t mind?” Enid asked.

“No,” Myrtle and James said together.

“I’m sure we will have plenty to talk about,” said Enid. “I’ll tell you about it all later.”

“When we’ve come back from out honeymoon,” said Myrtle.

“Something like that,” said Enid vanishing with a swish of her wand.

“Do you think she’ll stay away?” asked James.

“I’ve texted Velvet to tell her,” smiled Myrtle. “She’ll keep Mum busy.”

“Then perhaps we aught to finish this breakfast off and then, you will need to rest a bit,” said James.

“Sounds like a good idea,” said Myrtle.

A few tourist leaflets floated down to a small table next to the sofa.

“I wouldn’t want to think of you getting board,” came Enid’s voice.

“I don’t think we are going to do that,” said Myrtle.

By Janice Nye © 2021

The Fairy Godmother Part 97

 

“That didn’t take long,” said James when she appeared in her rooms.

“They thought my presence was unnecessary as well,” said Myrtle.

“So you left?” asked James.

“I told them that I would send the dress back and that I wouldn’t go to whatever they plan this wedding to be. Basically, it isn’t my wedding,” said Myrtle.

“So what do we do now?” asked James.

“We sort it for ourselves,” said Myrtle.

“That bunch of old fools,” muttered Enid as she appeared in Myrtle’s rooms.

“I thought you wanted me to take their advice,” said Myrtle.

“I’d forgotten what they were like,” said Enid. “Listening to them reminded me why I got married and then told them about it.”

“And why was that?” Myrtle asked.

“I’d seen the preparations for Lily’s wedding,” Enid sighed. “Did I ever show you the photos?”

“No,” said Myrtle. “I didn’t know she was married.”

“I’ve got them here,” Enid said, pulling a small sphere out of her pocket, she placed it on the table and it opened out into a hologram. There was a white chapel with an enormous spire that looked as though it was reaching up to the sky. A white carriage drawn by six white horses pulled up in front of the chapel and a man got out, Myrtle’s grandfather, he held his hand up to help someone get out of the carriage. A young woman in a voluminous white lacy dress, it was nipped in to an impossibly thin waist and stopped short of the shoulders.

“Put your veil forward,” her Father told her, trying to help her adjust the yards of lace till it cascaded over her face almost down to the ground.

“Why do I have to do this?” she asked.

“It is the done thing when you get married, you put the veil over your face and the vicar lifts it up in preparation for you to get married,” he explained.

“That wasn’t what I meant,” she said. “Why do I have to get married.”

“Your Mother said it was time,” he explained. “It isn’t anything to do with me.”

“But,” she sighed as he pulled her towards the chapel. “I don’t know anything about him. I don’t even know his name.”

“Neither do I,” said her Father. “Is it important?”

“You expect me to marry him!” she stuttered. “It could be anyone in that chapel.”

“I don’t think so,” he said. “At least half of the people in there are women and then there’s the vicar and the choir. He wont be one of those. He’ll be standing at the front, on the right-hand side of the chapel looking worried and his best man will be standing next to him holding the rings.”

“Thanks!” she said as the arrived at the open door of the chapel.

“Now you know what to do?” he asked.

“I’ve a good mind to say No,” she muttered.

“Your Mother wouldn’t be very happy with you if you did,” he said. “And that would be nothing compared with what the rest of the family would say, the women at any rate.”

“And what would the men say?” Lily asked.

“They would say what they were told to say, as always,” he smiled.

The door opened and the wedding proceeded. Myrtle and James watched it in silence, an hour later they watched as the bride and groom were driven to the wedding breakfast in the coach that had brought the bride to the chapel.

“Is that the sort of wedding that they would plan?” Myrtle asked slowly.

“That’s the short version, Lily got off lightly, the wedding service is usually at least two hours. The wedding breakfast is another five hours,” said Enid. “Do you want to see the wedding breakfast, it was most impressive, I think there were five courses and the cake stood ten feet tall.”

“I think we’ve seen enough,” said James.

“No way am I going for that sort of thing,” said Myrtle. “Five courses, it would bankrupt Maud.”

“So what sort of wedding would you go for?” asked Enid.

“Tell us about your wedding?” James said. “I am assuming it was less fussy than Lily’s.”

“It was a small chapel, in the hills,” said Enid smiling. “It was winter, but that wasn’t a problem for us. We had the vicar, us and a couple of the church lady’s who did the cleaning, they stood in as witnesses.”

“Didn’t they ask about the lack of congregation?” Myrtle asked.

“It was the weather, that was what we told them, hard for them to get out of town,” she smiled. “But they sent there best wishes.”

“Sounds perfect,” said Myrtle.

“I’m not sure about lying about why there is no congregation,” said James.

“Well, we could try telling them the truth,” said Myrtle.

“Which is?” he asked.

“My family are taking over all the wedding preparations and it sounds like we’ll be lucky if we get an invite to the thing,” laughed Myrtle.

“I know where the church is,” said Enid. “I could come with you to talk to the Vicar, not that it will be the same one of course, but I am your Mother and it might help your case if I were there to support you.”

“So when should we do this?” asked James.

“No time like the present,” said Enid giving her wand a quick wave.

“Good morning,” said the Vicar, looking up from writing his sermon to find three people looking at him.

“Good morning,” said Enid smiling.

“How may I help you?” the Vicar asked, looking round and wondering how they had got past his Housekeeper.

“My daughter and her fiancée wish to get married,” Enid smiled.

“That is so good to hear,” said the Vicar. “Can I be of assistance.”

“We were wondering if you could marry them in the chapel,” said Enid. “It is such a beautiful chapel, I was married there myself, quiet a few years ago.”

“I’m new to the parish, so it was probably before my time, but I would be delighted to carry out the service,” he said. “There are a few things that we would need to sort out first, starting off with a marriage licence.”

“Of course,” said Enid, pulling a document out of her handbag.

“That looks to be in order,” the Vicar smiled. “Do you have any thoughts on when you would like to have the wedding?”

“We were wondering about today?” James suggested.

“Don’t you want family and friends around to celebrate?” the Vicar asked.

“We did,” said Myrtle. “But they were taking over the planning, in fact, they made it clear that my fiancée wasn’t welcome and I was only tolerated if I agreed with everything they said.”

“You didn’t like what they were planning?” he said.

“No,” said James and Myrtle together.

“We think that a wedding is more than just a ten foot wedding cake, it is about the couple living and working together as a team, united in their love,” said Myrtle.

“Then I think now is a good time for your wedding,” smiled the Vicar. “Would you like to follow me to the church?”

“Thank-you,” said James, Myrtle and Enid.

“The Lady’s who do the flowers will be there,” he said. “I’m sure they would be more than happy to make up a bridal bouquet and to stand as witnesses. Sorry about the buckets, we have a little problem with the roof, I have preyed to the Almighty, but as yet we still need the buckets to catch the drips,” he added as a cloud came over and the rain began.

“Nothing could possible put a damper on today,” said Myrtle as they walked into the chapel to the sound of water dripping into over ten metal buckets.

“Can we do something,” Myrtle muttered to Enid.

“I’ll sort it,” said Enid, giving her wand a quick twitch. The dripping stopped, but the rain continued.

“Ladies,” the Vicar called.

“We’ve nearly finished the flowers, your reverence,” said one slightly harassed looking Lady. “We’ve done the best we could, but they were rather a sad collection,” she added pointing to a handful of vases on a table and a couple more Ladies standing next to them. Myrtle gave a quick twitch of her wand and the flowers started to pick up.

“This young couple want to get married and the brides Mother suggested they come to the church where she was married,” said the Vicar.

“Enid,” said one of the Ladies. “I remember my Mother telling me about it.”

“Then I would be honoured if you would be a witnesses to my daughters wedding,” Enid smiled.

“I would be delighted,” said the Lady, handing over a few of the left over flowers from the table to Myrtle and suddenly they became the most beautiful bridal bouquet that had ever been. Myrtle’s dress became white and shimmering.

“The perfect bride,” said James smiling at her as they walked down the aisle together.

“Who do I throw the bouquet to,” thought Myrtle as they left the chapel, husband and wife.

“There’s my granddaughter come to take me home,” said one of the old Ladies. “She’s such a good girl, she thinks about her old Nana when it rains.”

“Catch,” said Myrtle, throwing the flowers to the started girl, she caught them before she’d realised what was happening.

“Perhaps the old chapel will see another wedding,” smiled the Vicar. “And without the sound of dripping, it seems to have stopped, praise be to God.”

“Will you marry me,” said a young man looking at the girl holding the flowers.

“Of course,” she smiled. “I’ve been wondering when you’d ask.”

By Janice Nye © 2021

For anyone who remembers the  "User Hostile" blogs, they have been edited and are now a book available from Lulu.   This is a photo of some that I have had sent to me just in case someone would like a signed copy.