The Fairy Godmother Part 44

So, the invitations were well received. Ethel kept an eye on the internet to make sure there wasn’t anyone annoyed with not getting an one. The day dawned bright and sunny, Enid and I went to check up on how things were progressing.

“I do think you could have made a bit of an effort with your dress,” Enid said as she waved her wand and we arrived at the castle.

“I went out and bought this outfit especially for the occasion,” I said.

“And it looks perfect,” said the Princess, smiling at me, her face fell slightly when she noticed what Enid was wearing and then dropped completely when both babies threw up down their christening robes.

“My wife has been explaining about the change in fashion,” said the King, looking somewhat flustered. “And going by what she has explained, you are in the height of fashion.”

“There,” I smiled at Enid. “Royal approval.”

“Can you do anything with those two?” the King asked his daughter. She glanced in my direction, whilst trying to mop both her sons. I waved my wand and their last meal was no longer there, the robes were pristine.

“I wish I could have one of those,” the Princess sighed.

“I’m still not used to this sort of thing,” the King sighed. “But I am trying, as with the fashions,” he said nodding to Enid. “My heart says that that gown is perfect for a Christening but I know that the Fairy Godmother’s apparel will fit in more with what all the others will be wearing. Anyway, I came here for a progress report, now I’d better pass it on to the Queen.”

“Why didn’t you say something about my dress,” Enid snapped.

“You were too busy criticising what I was wearing,” I replied.

“Does it matter?” asked the Princess. “We need to find some thing else for you to wear and quickly.”

“Yes,” said Enid. I waved my wand and changed the style to something a little more en-trend.

“That will be perfect,” said the Princess. “The blue of the hat really accentuates the colour of your eyes, makes them so much more animated.”

“Are you sure this is alright?” asked Enid looking at her feet, ankles and the lower half of her legs, probably the first time they’d seen daylight in years.

“You have very good legs,” the Princess assured her. “You should show them off more,” she added as a servant walked in.

“They are ready to start the Christening,” he smiled.

“Then we had better go,” said the Princess. “Can’t keep everyone waiting.”

“That didn’t used to be a problem,” Enid whispered.

“Good luck,” I said. “Not that you’ll need it, of course.”

“Even the best prepared could do with a bit of luck,” smiled the Princess.

Three hours later, as we waved good-bye to the last of the guests the Princess heaved a great sigh of relief.

“So glad it has gone off well,” she sighed.

“I can see one of the advantages of these modern does,” said the King.

“What’s that?” asked the Princess, turning the pram around in readiness for there return into the castle.

“You don’t have to entertain the guest for quite so long,” he replied.

“We had some guests for over a week before your Christening,” said the Queen. “It was really quite draining, all that advice about child care from women who wouldn’t know which end of the baby to put a nappy on, let alone how to do it.”

“Did you change my nappy?” asked the Princess.

“I intended to, but everyone around me kept saying that was the job of the wet nurse and the nanny,” sighed the Queen.

“I don’t remember you wanting to do anything,” said the King, the Queen cuffed him on the back of the head.

“Like you’d know,” she said.

“All I remember is you telling the wet nurse to take it away,” said King.

“Mum!” said the Princess.

“They were different times,” said the Queen. “It was the way we were brought up, we were expected to be the companion of the ruler, not a child minder.”

“So was I,” said the Princess. “But, somehow, when they were born and handed to me, they were so precious, I didn’t want to entrust their care to anyone else,” she added gazing at them. “Anyway, it’s time for you two to have a feed.”

“I really think you could let us organise a wet nurse,” said the King.

“It was good enough for me,” said her Mother.

“But it isn’t for me,” said the Princess.

“I don’t think we should get involved in this,” said Enid.

“I think it’s time we left,” I told the King. “Enid has Council things to deal with, I have a report to write, you know how to contact us should you need to.”

“Thank-you,” said the King. “I think I need to talk to the gardeners about something.”

“The bio-digester,” I suggested.

“That was it,” said the King. “I was wondering how long it would take to get through all the ivy, it is nice seeing the stone work again, though I was surprised to see that the stuff had actually grown into the stone, the stone masons have their work cut out for them.”

“We’ll leave you to it,” I smiled, waving my wand and getting us back to the office.

“I think we should have stayed to say our good-byes to the Queen and her daughter,” said Enid.

“I think if we had done, we’d have ended up in the middle of a row,” I replied. “We don’t want the day to end badly.”

“I shall bow to your judgement on that one,” said Enid. “Since my judgement was so far out.”

“I think you were taking your fashion hints from the wrong generation,” I said. “The Queen is getting the hang of things, but the King is still living in the past with regards to clothes.”

“That is why I think you would make a great Head of department,” said Enid.

“Not doing it,” I replied.

“Can you give me one good reason why not?” asked Enid.

“Because there is too much admin and not enough seeing a problem through from beginning to end,” I explained.

“You could always allocate yourself a job,” said Enid.

“It wouldn’t work,” I replied.

“I don’t see why not,” said Enid.

“Because I’d always have to be on hand to sort out anything that came up,” I replied. “You can’t concentrate on the work in hand if you could be dragged away at any point to sort out something totally different.”

“I know what you mean,” said Enid as her phone pinged to tell her there was a text waiting to be read.

“Shouldn’t you answer that?” I asked.

“It’s the Council, they want to know how much longer the Christening is going to take,” she sighed. “Something has come up!”

“Then you had better go,” I said.

“But the Head of the Fairy Godmothers,” said Enid. “It’s pretty obvious I can’t do both jobs.”

“Should go to someone who is into admin,” I said. “Not necessarily someone you would send out to sort something.”

“I see,” sighed Enid. “And Ethel?” she asked.

“I’ll go and talk to her,” I said. “This has been a bit of a set back to her, it could be that she would prefer to work in the background, doing the computer stuff, someone for the Godmothers to ask for technical support.”

“See what she says,” said Enid. “I don’t want her to be confused or frightened.”

“Of course,” I smiled as she disappeared off to the council. I would just like to know why Ethel’s state of mind is so important to her.

By Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 43

“How goes it?” I ask Ethel when I arrived back in the big hall.

“I’ve gone through the Fairy Data base and the local “Who’s Who,” and anything else I can find,” said Ethel smiling.

“And?” I asked.

“We have a full and extensive list of people to invite,” sighed the Princess.

“Have you thought about what sort of Christening you want?” I asked.

“There is only one sort of Christening possible,” said the King. “A full state Christening.”

“Normally I would agree with you,” I said. “But you have been out of circulation for a while.”

“What does that have to do with things?” the King asked stiffly.

“Firstly, the palace isn’t really in a good state to receive all the state visitors that it did have with the last Christening,” I said.

“What do you mean by that?” snapped the King.

“She means that the roof of the guest wing fell in, sometime in the last hundred years, the weather has got in and basically, the whole thing needs demolishing, the chapel isn’t it a much better state and the roof on this hall is leaking,” said the Queen.

“Are you saying that the palace isn’t up to holding it?” the King asked.

“No,” the Queen sighed.

“I suppose we could take it out side,” said the King. “There was a field that we used to hold all sorts of events on,” he added walking to the window. “I thought we could see it from here?”

“We used to be able to,” the Queen replied.

“But?” the King asked.

“There’s a wood grown up there,” said the Queen. “It would take ages to clear and then the grass would have to be sewn and it would take time for it to grow.”

“I see, nice idea, but not there?” asked the King

“There is also a problem with the livery,” said the Queen.

“What’s wrong with it?” asked the King.

“The moths got at it,” the Queen sighed.

“A hole or two isn’t important,” the King said trying to dismiss the problem.

“It wouldn’t be,” the Queen agreed. “Only it isn’t a hole or two. All the livery has been reduce to a pile of powder.”

“Oh!” said the King. “Do you mean the moths have eaten it all?”

“Every last stitch,” said the Queen. “That’s why I was thinking that a less formal event might be a good idea.”

“But,” said the King.

“They are my children,” said the Princess.

“In my day that wouldn’t have been important,” said the King.

“That day was one hundred years ago,” the Queen reminded him. “It is also why we get the Fairy Godmother here to help us.”

“It’s why I called on Enid,” said the King, looking at me.

“And she sent us because she thought that we could provide an alternative view on the event,” I said, looking out of a different window on the other side of the hall. “For a start off, this courtyard would provide a great venue, very much the Gothic look cum shabby chic.”

“Is that good?” asked the King.

“Very,” said Ethel, joining me at the window.

“A select group of people to celebrate the next generation,” I said.

“Does that mean a small guest list?” asked the Princess.

“Yes,” I said. “No great pomp.”

“What will the servants wear?” asked the Queen.

“I think we can dispense with the livery,” I said. “Smart suites, in black for the men and simple dresses also in black, for the women,” I showed them some possible styles on my smart phone.”

“That could be good,” said the Princess.

“So,” Ethel said. “We cut down the invitation list and organise for it to be videoed so that it can go on the state web site for anyone who want to to view.”

“What is video and what is a web site?” asked the King.

“You can have a web site for the country,” said Ethel. “Then you can use it as a platform to make announcements to the world.”

“Can’t I just send out an envoy?” asked the King. “You know where you are with an envoy.”

“Things don’t work that way any more,” I tried to explain.

“But it’s the way I work,” shouted the King storming out of the hall.

“That didn’t go to well,” said the Queen, following the King out of the hall.

“So what do we do now?” asked the Princess.

“That’s a good question,” said Enid, typical of her to turn up just when I thought things couldn’t get much worse.

“Deserves a good answer,” I agreed. “The fact that I don’t have one does rather prove my point, I wouldn’t be any good as the Head of the Fairy Godmothers.”

“I think I may have pushed the internet stuff a bit too much,” said Ethel. “It’s so much a part of my life, I can’t imagine anyone not understanding it.”

“He’s not the only one,” said the Princess. “This stuff is a mystery to me and everyone else here.”

“We need to back peddle on the tech stuff,” I said. “It’s one thing using it to get together the guest list, but we need to find an alternative way of sending out the invites. I’m not suggesting people in livery delivering the invitations by hand, but we need something.”

“And what abut the King?” asked Enid.

“He might listen to you,” I said. “After all he was disappointed when you didn’t come when he asked for your help.”

Enid’s phone rang.

“It’s the Council, they want to know where I am,” she said reading the text. “Which proves that I can’t do both jobs.”

“So, who’s doing what?” asked the Princess. “Are you going to talk to Dad or the Council?” she asked Enid.

“I’ll talk to your Father,” said Enid waving her wand.

“So what do we do?” the Princess asked as the babies began to cry.

“You’d better sort them out,” I said. “We’ll try and come up with a plan B,” I added looking at Ethel.

“I don’t know how to do low tech,” Ethel replied.

“Then you are just going to have to learn,” I said.

“But?” she said looking bewildered.

“Have you got a printer on that laptop?” I asked.

“I didn’t think I’d need one,” she said.

“You’ll need one to print out the guest list for a start off,” I said. “And it would be an idea to have a paper copy of the seating plan, the bigger the better.”

“It might be easier if we printed the seating plan back in the office,” said Ethel. “We have a very big printer in there.”

“Is that the thing that looks like a wide mangle?” I asked.

“That’s the thing,” said Ethel. “But, what are we going to do?”

“We design an invitation, get the who to etc. from the guest list and then when we have sorted out the when where and everything else, we can print them all off and either post them or have them© appear at the address sat on a red silk cushion.”

“I like that idea,” said the King walking back into the hall. “Is this what the internet does?”

“No,” I smiled. “It’s what a magic wand does.”

by Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 42

“What are you doing here?” Enid asked.

“Everybody’s got to be somewhere?” I replied.

“Yes and you are supposed to be with Ethel making sure she doesn’t make a complete mess of this Christening,” Enid snapped.

“She’s doing a great job of sorting out the invitations and organising the seating plan,” I replied. “She didn’t need me getting in her way.”

“So you’ve left her to it?” asked Enid.

“She knows where I am if she needs any help,” I sighed. “And not standing over her all the time is the best way I know of showing her that I have full confidence in her ability to do the job.”

“You just didn’t like being in the background,” said Enid. “Couldn’t stand not back and let someone else do the work.”

“No, that’s what I’m doing, she doesn’t need me there getting under her feet,” I replied. “Not everyone is like you.”

“And what do you mean by that?” Enid snapped.

“I’ve seen your idea of standing back,” I replied. “You leap in way before anyone asks for help.”

“Just because you didn’t know when you were out of your depth,” said Enid.

“If I’m that incompetent, how come you’ve got me watching over Ethel?” I asked.

“I didn’t say you were incompetent,” Enid replied. “It’s just, Ethel knows you, she doesn’t run a mile when you walk into the room.”

“And she does with some of the others?” I asked.

“Yes, literally,” said Enid. “How do you think she’s doing?”

“She’s doing fine,” I said. “I wouldn’t leave her to handle things by herself if I thought she was in anyway out of her depth. I know how tricky that kingdom can be.”

“Have you been there before?” asked Enid.

“I was a cherub at the last Christening,” I replied.

“I remember, there was a problem with the cherubs,” she said.

“That was why I left,” I said. “Also, it’s not the most dignified of jobs, the costume doesn’t leave much to the imagination.”

“Wasn’t that when you moved over to being a Fairy Godmother?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. “Now what did you want to talk to me about, I’m sure it wasn’t my great time as a cherub that has suddenly become of interest.”

“The Fairy Council were looking for me to suggest a replacement as Head of the Fairy Godmothers,” said Enid.

“Elderflower would do a good job,” I said. “She’s very good at organisation.”

“She’s got no imagination,” said Enid.

“That’s why she’s good at organisation,” I said. “And a Head of Department needs to be good at organisation.”

“The Department would stagnate under her,” said Enid.

“Wallflower, is good at,” I paused for a moment.

“Exactly, at what?” said Enid. “She was well named, she is a wall flower and has a tendency to sit in the corner and stay unobtrusive. There is no way she’ fight for the department in the council meetings.”

“Why should she, you’re there,” I replied.

“But I have to be impartial,” she said. “I can’t just run the council in the interests of the Fairy Godmothers.”

“When you are here, you are the Head of the Fairy Godmothers,” I said. “When you are in the Council you are Head of the Fairy Council, unless you are putting something forward for the Fairy Godmothers, in which case you are Head of the Fairy Godmothers. Simple really.”

“Sounds simple, till you are in the council room and they are asking you which hat you are wearing,” Enid sighed.

“Well, wear a different hat when you are representing the Fairy Godmothers and stand on the other side of the table,” I suggested.

“And what good would that do?” she asked.

“Even the thickest of them would know who you were representing,” I replied.

“I’ll think about it,” she said. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to be head of the Fairy Godmothers?”

“Absolutely certain,” I said. “Anyway, making me head would put out quite a lot of people, Wallflower and Elderflower would be the least of your worries.”

“I don’t know how you managed to upset so many people,” sighed Enid.

“Don’t you?” I asked. “I know I’ve never been one of your favourites.”

“Then I got to know you and appreciate your,” she paused. “I had a word there, but it’s gone. Safe to say that I appreciate your methods now that I have seen them working at close quarters. They aren’t as mad as I thought they were.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“It’s why I thought you’d bring a breath of fresh air into the running of the department,” she added.

“Sorry, you can’t butter me up,” I said. “You’ll have to think of something better than that if you want me to take on the job.”

“Can’t blame me for trying,” said Enid.

“So, what do you want me to do?” I asked.

“Well, whilst you are waiting for Ethel to contact you,” Enid started.

“I don’t expect her to need any help,” I replied.

“Whilst you are doing that, I was wondering if you could give them a hand with the laundry,” she added, looking like she had a quick exit lined up in case she didn’t like my reply.

“What’s wrong at the laundry, I mean, Maude has it running like a humming top, it couldn’t go better,” I replied.

“She’s off sick,” said Enid. “And it doesn’t look like she’s going back any time soon.”

“She hasn’t died, has she!” I asked cautiously.

“Not as far as I know, but the Doctor does say she wont be going back, not this century at any rate,” Enid sighed.

“You want me to run the laundry?” I asked.

“You’re good at that sort of thing,” Enid smiled and I got the impression that she was trying to sell the job to me.

“No way am I going to spend my time chasing round laundry that someone couldn’t be bothered to label properly,” I told her.

“See, you know the problems already,” said Enid. “I’m sure you’d soon get on top of them.”

“The laundry,” said Wallflower, wandering into the room slowly. I have never seen her dash about anything.

“It needs someone to sort things out,” said Enid vaguely.

“I like it down there,” said Wallflower. “So peaceful.”

“With all that machinery?” Enid and I asked together.

“It’s all part of the flow of things,” said Wallflower, getting really rather dreamy about the whole subject.

“Perhaps Wallflower is the one for the job,” I whispered to Enid.

“Yes,” said Enid, smiling at Wallflower. “Would you mind going down to the laundry to sort out things, we don’t want Maude going back to chaos.”

“Will she be going back soon?” asked Wallflower.

“Really don’t know about that,” said Enid. “She is off for the foreseeable, but you never know.”

“I see,” said Wallflower. “I’d better get on with it, the last lot of washing I got back wasn’t up to her usual standard. I know she’d be upset if she saw what they are sending out.”

“Thank-you,” said Enid and Wallflower headed off with more purpose in her step than I’d ever seen.

“I wouldn’t have thought of her for that job,” said Enid.

“Wallflower knows the results she expects from the laundry,” I said.

“So, you thought she’d be good for the job,” Enid smiled.

“That doesn’t mean I would be any good as Head of Department,” I replied.

“You should think about it,” Enid smiled.

“I shall go and check up on Ethel,” I said waving my wand, I don’t know know if that was her intention or if she really thought that I should be Head of the Fairy Godmothers, but somewhere other than the office seemed like a good place to be.

By Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 41

“Ethel had her report on the table and ready for me when I came in here this morning,” said Enid as I put my report on her table. “I’ve nearly finished reading it,” she added. “And a very well written report it is too.”

“Ethel works in here,” I replied. “So she could put the report on your desk as soon as it was written. And my report is ready for you to read as soon as you finish that one.”

“It better be good,” said Enid, closing Ethel’s report and opening mine. “You have a high standard to reach.”

I sat down on the other side of her desk and waited.

“You know I don’t like being watched whilst I am working,” said Enid after five minutes.

“Yes, but I’ve checked my pigeon hole and there’s nothing in it,” I smiled. “So I thought I’d best be on hand to offer any explanations or comments if the report is less than clear.”

“I think your report is perfectly clear,” said Enid.

“That’s nice to know,” I said. “But I wouldn’t like to leave before you’ve finished it.”

“There’s an envelope in your pigeon hole,” said Ethel.

“And one in yours,” I said, looking at Enid.

“I didn’t do anything,” she said failing to look innocent.

“I know you did,” I smiled, taking down the envelope, Ethel had beaten me to it and was busy ripping hers open to find out what was in store.

I know this has nothing to do with computers, but I think it requires a logical approach, which I believe is what is needed with computers.

There is a kingdom, the one with sleeping beauty, well, she woke up when she gave birth to twins sons. That was about six months ago, they are planning the Christening and they don’t want to make the same mistakes as last time, nor do they want to mess up with the seating arrangements. Put the wrong people next to each other and you could have a war on your hands.

The Fairy Godmother will be good at flannelling people whilst you sort out the guest list and seating plan.

Shouldn’t take long. Good luck. Enid.

“Goodie,” said Ethel clapping her hands together.

The Kingdom of the sleeping beauty, it has been decided to Christen her sons, they’ve been putting it off because that’s where they went wrong last time. So we need to make sure that they invite everyone they need to to the Christening, not missing anyone out. Also, they need a seating plan which wont end up with anyone going to war with anyone else. Ethel can sort things out whilst you reassure everyone that it will all go well.

Good luck, you’ll need it. Enid.

“Thanks,” I smiled, lifting my wand.

“Remember the red instructions from last time,” she hissed as we began to disappear.

“What was Enid saying?” asked Ethel as we found ourself in a great hall.

“It’s a good question,” I said. “She’s always making last minute comments, they don’t usually make much sense.”

“Did Enid send you?” asked an extremely flustered court official dashing across the room towards us.

“If you mean the Head of the Fairy Godmothers and now the Head of the Fairy Council,” I said. “Then yes, she has sent us to help you.”

“Promotion?” he asked.

“Not exactly,” I smiled. “There was chaos after the departure of the last Head of the Fairy Council. Enid was told it would continue until she agreed to take on the job.”

“No one wanted to be Head of the Fairy Council?” he asked.

“I think it’s one of those jobs, everyone thinks they can do all sorts and when they take it on, they find out how little they can do,” I smiled. “Only thing was Enid knew this before hand, which is why she didn’t want the job.”

“But the twisted her arm,” said the court official.

“Does this mean Enid wont come to help us?” asked the King who had just dashed over to see what was going on.

“I can ring her at any time to run ideas past her and check up on guest lists,” I said. “But the idea is that we sort out the plan and she says if it’s a goer.”

“Wouldn’t it be simpler if she came?” the King asked.

“If she comes,” said Ethel. “The Council will be constantly interrupting her asking her questions about something or other, which is a recipe for nothing getting done well and in this case, for missing someone off the list.”

“The gardeners have managed to get the ivy off the south tower and they want to know what to do with it,” said someone who had just dashed in.

“I know what you mean,” said the King, looking a bit bemused.

“I would suggest a bio-digester,” said Ethel.

“What?” asked the King.

“It would digest the ivy and can be used to produce electricity,” Ethel explained.

“What’s electricity?” asked the King.

“I think if we concentrate on arranging the Christening, we can sort out the bio-digester later,” I said.

“So,” Ethel continued. “If we sketch out a plan, Enid can check it out to see if we’ve forgotten anything. And we can run it through our data base to see if anyone has been missed out.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said the Royal Princess, pushing a double pram into the hall.

“I do wish you wouldn’t keep pushing them around like that,” said the King looking worried. “We have servants who could look after them.”

“I don’t see why they should be given to someone else to look after,” said the Princess gazing over the handle. “I did all that hard work bringing them into the world, I’m not going to miss out on the fun part of it all.”

“I just wish we knew who the Father is,” said the King shaking his head.

“If I knew I’d tell you,” said the Princess. “But he didn’t have the manners to wake me up. The first thing I knew about it, I was giving birth, not the best of wake-up calls. It would’ve been nice if someone had explained something about that beforehand.”

“I didn’t think it was necessary, not before you were married,” said the King, looking somewhat sheepish.

“It would have been nice to know what the hell was going on,” she said.

“I wish you wouldn’t use language like that,” the King said wincing slightly.

“I could use much worse language,” she said.

“I’m sure you could,” the King sighed. “And I’m sure it would be very justified, I’d just rather not hear you say it.”

“So, the question is who to invite,” I said with the hope of focussing attention on the job in hand.

“Normally I would suggest starting with the guest list from my daughter’s Christening,” said the King. “But we’ve been out of circulation for a bit since then and we are only just beginning to get on top of the changes.”

“What do you mean?” asked Ethel.

“Normally I would have invited my good friends from the kingdom adjoining us,” the King sighed. “But two of them are ruled by the grandson’s of the Kings I knew, one is ruled by a distant niece whose Mother didn’t get on at all well with my old friend and three of them are republics, I hate to think what they did to the monarchs they got rid of. Then again, one of them, I could quite understand them wanting to get rid of him, I tried telling him that he wasn’t treating his people right but, he just said they were only peasants so it didn’t matter.”

“All people matter,” said the Princess.

“I agree,” said the King. “Any way, we don’t have to worry about him, he’s history.”

“We need to make sure that any Fairy who thinks they should be invited has been,” said Ethel.

“And any leader of any neighbouring country has an invitation,” I added.

“Even the republics?” asked the King.

“Yes,” I said. “If they don’t like it, they don’t have to come, but the onus is for them to think of a reason. You have fulfilled your part of etiquette by sending out the invitations. It doesn’t matter if you send out more than will come as long as you don’t miss anyone out.”

“Or at least not anyone who can cast a spell on anything,” the Princess agreed. “I don’t want anything hanging over my kids. The last one destroyed the home spinning industry.”

“Things have changed so much,” sighed the King. “Before all this happened you wouldn’t have worried about the home spinning industry, I don’t think you knew anything about spinning.”

“That’s because you outlawed spinning wheels,” she replied.

“I was trying to protect you,” the King replied.

“You don’t solve a problem by hiding from it,” the Princess replied.

“So what do we do?” asked the King.

“Check our data base, make out a list, send out the invitations and wait,” she said.

“We could create a web site for people who are interested in attending,” said Ethel.

“What’s that and what would it do?” asked the King.

“Well,” said Ethel. “Anyone who thinks they should have been invited can go on the web site and register their interest and we can send them an invitation if we think they should get one.”

“Sounds like a good safety net,” said the Princess.

“Let’s get going,” I replied.

By Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 40

“The war wont progress if we stay holed up here,” Tom snapped as the last of the wounded disappeared through the door and it closed behind them. I was half expecting the door to vanish, but it stayed there. Once seen it was not erased.

“What war, this is a game and we need to get out of it,” I said. “As far as I can see, we gain nothing by pushing the enemy back or even by engaging with them, all we do is loose more people.”

“Put that way,” Tom sighed, looking round to one of his men. “Get everyone in here.”

“Yes Sir,” he replied, leaping to attention and dashing out to carry out his order.

“It just goes against the grain,” he muttered.

“Sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture,” I said.

“But,” he muttered and then stopped and shook his head.

“This is the nearest I can think of to putting this on pause, whilst we work out a way of getting out of here,” I said.

“I could put it on pause, if you like,” said Ethel looking up from her laptop.

“Do so,” I said and suddenly it was as if everyone but Ethel and I were greyed out.

“Right,” I said. “Can you end the game?”

“I can,” said Ethel.

“But?” I asked. “There sounded like there was a great big but in there.”

“If I do, all those who have died will stay dead and all the injured, those who have lost limbs and stuff,” Ethel paused.

“They will stay injured?” I asked.

“You’ve got it,” she smiled.

“So what do you suggest?” I asked.

“If we complete the game and win, then all our people will return in a triumphant march at the end,” she replied.

“So what do we do to win?” I asked.

“We have to capture their HQ, or their leader who is in it,” she said.

“Sounds simple,” I said.

“It is guarded by elite troops, thousands of them, and they are all heavily armoured,” said Ethel.

“They are on hold, as well as our lot?” I asked.

“Yes, of course,” she said. “How does that help.”

“They wont be able to do anything to stop us,” I replied.

“No,” said Ethel.

“If we capture their person in command, then we’ve won?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said, suddenly realising what I was getting at.

“We bring them back here, they sign the surrender, game over,” I said.

“Yes,” said Ethel.

“So, lets get on with it,” I said waving my wand.

Two minutes later, I had Tom and the leader of the enemy in the office, signing a peace treaty. After I’d explained it all to her, she didn’t see much point in continuing the war, because it wasn’t a war, just a computer game. The ink wasn’t even dry on the paper when there was a march past of all the people involved, we watched as they walked on past us to their homes, the office faded out and we were in the library in Tom’s home.

“Is everyone out of the game?” I asked Ethel.

“Everyone,” she smiled.

“Can you close it safely?” I asked.

“Yes,” she smiled.

“Now delete it,” I added.

“With pleasure,” she said, pressing the DELETE key.

“Is it all over?” asked Tom.

“Good question,” I replied.

“This has taken things back to before you meddled with the program,” said Ethel.

“So, no one will remember what happened in it?” Tom asked.

“Do you want them to?” I asked.

“No, I wouldn’t wish those memories on my worst enemy,” he said, sitting down heavily.

“That’s OK then,” said Ethel.

“I can remember,” he said. “Well, most of it.”

“It will fade, like a bad dream,” Ethel explained.

“And the others?” he asked.

“Some will have already forgotten, others may take slightly longer, but they will all forget,” said Ethel.

“So, do you promise not to meddle with things that you don’t understand?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said.

“But?” I asked.

“The lad’s, they just sit there all day on that blessed computer, it’s a wonderful day and they are missing it,” he said looking out of the window.

“It is a shame to miss it,” I said, waving my wand.

“What have you done?” asked Ethel.

“Dad the broadband’s down,” came a voice from upstairs.

“What happened?” Tom asked.

“I don’t know,” said young Tom.

“The game crashed, then disappeared and after that the broadband went down,” said young Tom’s friend walking into the room behind him. His phone made some strange noises and he looked at it. “Seems there is a major broadband outing and we are in the centre of it. It’ll take them ages to fix it!”

“Now what are we going to do?” said young Tom throwing himself down on the nearest chair.

“Well, I was just going to go to the boat house to check up on the yacht , would you like to come down with me?” Tom suggested.

“Could we go out on the lake?” young Tom asked eagerly.

“I couldn’t think of anything better to do,” said Tom.

“I think we’ve finished here,” I said to Ethel waving my wand and taking us back to the office.

“Is this what it’s like?” asked Ethel as Tom’s library slowly changed into the office of the Head of the Fairy Godmothers. I was surprised at the similarities, of the two rooms, though Tom’s library had a better view and fewer books.

“It can be,” I smiled.

“Glad to see you took my instructions seriously,” Enid said looking up from her desk and whatever it was she was reading.

“I want to see a report from each of you, on this desk first thing tomorrow morning,” she said. “And don’t write it together, I will know if you have done that.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I replied.

“Neither would I,” said Ethel. “It would be like cheating in an exam.”

“Exactly,” said Enid.

“And it wouldn’t give you a full picture of what happened,” Ethel added. “Because we would be taking it from one perspective, rather than two, not that there aren’t more than two perspectives on any situation. I suppose there is one for each person there, it might be an idea to go back and ask a few of the people involved how they feel about it.”

“Go over there and get to work,” Enid told Ethel, pointing to a small desk on the far side of the room. “You can go back to your dormitory room and work there,” she said walking me to the door. “What have you done to her?” she hissed. “She’s said more in the last two minutes than she did in the whole of last year.”

“You were right, she needed to get out more,” I smiled. “See something other than a computer monitor.”

By Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 39

“You could have chosen something a little less dangerous Enid!” I thought as another explosion showed us with soil.

“Is there anywhere quieter that we could talk?” I shouted at Tom.

“I suppose we could go into my office,” he said looking round at the chaos.

“That might be an idea,” I said on the principle that the office must have a roof or something to stop the almost constant rain of soil.

“After you,” he said opening a door just behind him, the strange thing was that I couldn’t remember it being there until that point.

I walked through the door and found myself in an office, through the windows I could see blue skies and distant hills, but there were no explosions. I walked back out and the explosions continued. Tom cleared his throat behind me, so I continued into the room.

“So,” I said walking over to the window. “I hope you can explain this?” I asked looking down at a view of rural tranquillity.

“It’s difficult,” he sighed.

“Start at the beginning and work your way through, omitting nothing,” I said. “Without all the facts it is going to be extremely difficult to unravel this mess.”

“That is part of the problem, I don’t think I have all the facts,” he said.

“Meanwhile, they are hammering your people out there,” I said.

“I know that,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Yet we see none of that in here,” I added.

“Are you saying we should being them in here?” he asked.

“The wounded at least,” I replied.

“But this is my office, my command post,” he said looking stunned.

“To command you need followers,” I replied. “You are loosing them with every passing minute.”

“But,” he said as I opened the door again.

“I think the hospital is being targetted,” said Ethel, looking confused, not that that was any different from normal.

“Right,” I said turning to one of the people who were peering over the top. “We need to evacuate the hospital into here.”

He looked from me to Tom.

“Do as she says,” Tom sighed.

“Yes Sir,” he said, heading down the trench.

“And get everyone you see to help you with it,” I shouted after him. “The sooner this is done the better.”

“As she says,” shouted Tom.

“In here,” I said to Ethel.

“But they’ll need my help,” she said.

“I think you can help them more from here,” I replied. “Now, this game?” I asked Tom.

“When young Tom came back from school for the summer holidays, he brought a friend with him, his parents were on some archaeological expedition and he was going to spend the summer with us. I thought it would keep young Tom out of mischief, give him something to occupy his time at any rate.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“The lad had some computer game, they spent all the hours of the day and night on the thing, it didn’t seem right, so I thought I aught to do something about it,” he replied, stepping to one side as the first stretcher arrived, the lead person carrying it looked round as if to ask what to do next.

“This way,” said Ethel gesturing for them to go through a door which I hadn’t seen until then.

“Thank-you Miss,” he said and following her directions, the other stretcher bearers behind followed suite.

“What do you know about computer games?” I asked.

“They’re a bloody waste of time,” he muttered.

“So what did you do to the game?” I asked.

“I went into the controls of the program and changed a few settings,” he explained.

“Can’t you just change them back?” I asked.

“You think I hadn’t thought of that?” he asked.

“I assume you can’t, but I had to ask,” I replied. “What happened when you tried.”

“It asked for a password that it hadn’t needed when I made the changes,” he said.

“And you didn’t have a password?” Ethel asked.

“No,” he said. “And after three attempts at guessing I was locked out.”

“What were these changes?” I asked.

“I thought the characters in it weren’t very real,” he said. “So I input some photos in from the local fairs, from the local newspaper web site and it populated the game with them.”

“That’s a breach of copyright,” said Ethel.

“And they are all here?” I asked.

“Them, and any friends or family that weren’t at the fair,” he said.

“How did that happen?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “When I closed out of the program, they and I were here. I tried to get back onto the program to send them back, but it locked me out.”

“What else did you change?” I asked.

“There was a setting for safety,” he said.

“And what did you change it to?” asked Ethel, sounding somewhat more angry than I had ever heard her sound.

“It was a shoot-em up sort of program, but,” he looked at the ceiling. “When someone died, well, ten minutes later they came back. I didn’t think they were learning anything.”

“So, what did you do?” Ethel asked.

“I took the safety off,” he said. “I didn’t think it would have this effect!”

“So this is all your fault,” said Ethel, getting her laptop out of her bag.

“What are you going to do?” he asked.

“I’m going to try and undo the mess you have made,” she said.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” he asked.

“Find young Tom’s friend,” I suggested. “He might have some insight into how to tackle this.”

“Yes, he might and that would speed things up,” Ethel said, backing up my suggestion.

“A bit difficult,” said Tom looking a bit uncomfortable.

“Why?” I asked.

“He was one of the first casualties,” Tom replied looking a bit sheepish.

“I might be able to help,” said young Tom cautiously.

“Right,” said Ethel, putting the laptop down on a table that hadn’t been there a couple and pulling up a chair.

“Do your best son,” said Tom.

“Is this the last of the casualties?” I asked the last person in the line of stretcher bearers.

“Yes Miss, well unless someone else has been hit,” he replied.

“You need to get the rest of the people in here,” I told Tom.

“I can’t do that,” Tom blustered.

“Why not?” I asked.

“There will be no one manning the defences,” he replied. “You can’t leave the defences unmanned!”

“Why not?” I asked.

“The enemy will come in and take over,” he spluttered.

“From what I can see, if we keep them the other side of that door, they can’t get at us and we are safe,” I replied.

“The war wont progress if we stay holed up here,” he snapped.

“This isn’t a war, it’s a computer game,” Ethel snapped.

By Janice Nye © 2020

The Fairy Godmother Part 38

There I was, back at the office and the occupants were peering from behind cupboards, desks and doors all ready to do a runner depending on who it was that had just appeared and what mood they were in.

“It’s OK, I’m not going to bit,” I shouted, looking round the room.

“We didn’t know if it was going to be Enid coming back to tell us off,” said someone crawling out from under a filing cabinet.

“You’d be OK, Ethel,” someone else told her. “She’d never do anything to upset you.”

“She shouts at me sometimes,” said Ethel, looking worried.

“She shouts at everyone,” I told Ethel. “It would be more worrying if she didn’t shout at you sometimes.

“That’s true,” said several fairies, patting her and trying to get the dust out of her hair. “The ones she doesn’t shout at, they need to worry because she is obviously plotting something to get at them.”

“If you say so,” said Ethel, not sounding the least bit convinced.

“Is there anything for me to do in my pigeon hole?” I asked, looking round. As I caught sight of the pigeon holes an envelope suddenly appeared in mine.

“Looks like you’re in luck,” said Ethel handing it over to me.

“So are you,” I said as an envelope appeared in Ethel’s pigeon hole.

“No,” Ethel said, sounding flustered. “It can’t be for me, I don’t get envelopes!”

“It’s in your pigeon hole,” I said, handing it down to her. “You’d better read it and see.”

“I can’t she!” she said dropping it on the desk.

“It’s got your name on it,” I said opening my envelope.

I want you to work with Ethel on this, she doesn’t get out of the office enough and I don’t think it’s good for her.

Don’t let her see this, she may take it the wrong way

“OK,” I thought, slipping the sheet into my pocket whilst Ethel was still staring at her envelope as if it was going to bite her or something worse.

This is similar to a job you have done before, a small community is trapped in a computer game they have to fight off various enemies in order to survive only they aren’t doing too well. I think Ethel will be able to help you keep them alive whilst the two of you find a way to get them out of there. Normally I would say back to their own reality, but they have left it for so long, they don’t know where that is either.

Good luck

Enid

“There’s another sheet as well,” I thought after I had read the case notes several times.

GET HER BACK IN ONE

 PIECE OR ELSE

was written large on a third sheet of paper. I quickly hid that one in my pocket as well.

“Looks like we’ll be working together on this one Ethel,” I smiled.

“I don’t do going out of the office, ask Enid,” said Ethel trembling.

“I’m going to need someone who knows their way around a computer if I’m going to save the day,” I smiled. “And that means you, Enid says so.”

“You’ve got out of computer stuff before,” said Ethel.

“More by good luck than good judgment,” I replied, opening Ethel’s envelope for her. I got the impression that we would be waiting till dooms day if we left it to her.

There is a community trapped in a computer game, they have to fight off various enemies to stay alive, but they aren’t very good at fighting and their numbers are diminishing. You need to help keep them alive whilst the two of you find a way to get out of the game and shut it down or something. You know about this sort of thing, Ethel. The person you are working with knows next to nothing about computers, which is rather dangerous, I need you to make sure she doesn’t make a complete mess of this.

Good luck

Enid

“Nice to see she has so much faith in me,” I said, not that I didn’t expect it, but I thought she could have worded it better. Couldn’t have worded it much worse.

“Does she mean you?” asked Ethel.

“I should think so,” I sighed.

“What do we do?” she asked.

“We keep tight hold of the instructions and I wave my wand,” I replied.

“You’ve got it back,” Ethel smiled, looking very relieved, though I’m not sure why.

“Yes, Enid said she’d get it,” I smiled, wondering if I’d missed something important along the way.

“Right,” I said, gathering myself together. “There’s no time like the present,” I added and waved my wand, it seemed a bit rusty at first and I was beginning to wonder if I’d forgotten how, when the office walls began to melt and change into somewhere quite different and somehow, less real.

“Don’t just stand there, they’ll kill you,” a voice yell from behind where me. I grabbed Ethel, pulled her down low and headed in the direction of the voice. A moment later there was a creator where we had been standing and we were falling down into some sort of dug out, followed by a lot of the soil that had been blown out to make the creator.

“Did you two want to die or something?” the voice asked me.

“No,” stuttered Ethel.

“Really, you could’ve fooled me,” he snapped. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“We’ve come to help you,” Ethel replied.

“You! Help me! That’s the biggest laugh I’ve had in ages,” he said. “The best thing you can do, as far as I am concerned, is get the hell out of here.”

“That is what we intend to do,” I said.

“Good,” he muttered turning his back on us. Not a good thing to do, rule no. 47 a subsection 3ciii says you should never allow the person allocated to you to turn their backs on you and walk away.

“You are living through hell at the moment, we intend to take that hell away so that you can live peacefully once more,” I explained, pretending that he hadn’t turned away from us.

“What in all that is holy are you jabbering on about?” he asked.

“This is hell,” I said looking around as if to illustrate it.

“Get down,” shouted someone a few yards away to someone we couldn’t see. There was a loud explosion and someone came flying over the top into the dug out. I waved my wand to lessen the impact as they hit the ground.

“Shouldn’t you get a medic or something?” I asked when no one moved to do anything.

“That is the medic,” he said, looking at the body on the ground.

“Can you fix her?” I asked Ethel.

“I think so,” said Ethel tapping a few keys on a laptop she’d taken out of her bag. The medic seemed to consolidate and started to scream, a minute later they stopped groaning and the wounds began to heal, even the clothes began to get back into one piece. After a couple of minutes the medic gave herself a shake and stood up.

“I was told you had wounded, Sir,” she said looking round slightly dazed.

“Yes,” he said. “Young Tom here will take you to them,” he added and a young child stepped forward. I had thought that was quiet a spectacular mend, but no one said anything.

“You’d better go with them and see what you can do,” I said to Ethel.

“Two pairs of hands will be better than one,” said the medic as they headed off after Tom.

“And who are you?” he asked turning to me.

“I am your Fairy Godmother,” I said.

“And she?” he asked his eyes following Ethel.

“She is Ethel, a computer geek,” I said.

“Then she’s the one we need to get out of here,” he said. “My name is Tom, by the way.”

“Not old Tom,” I said without thinking.

“No, old Tom doesn’t get out much lately,” said Tom. “Not since they infiltrated his program with a virus. It keeps taking him to a gents toilets in the middle of a labyrinth on the other side of town. Every time he gets out of the labyrinth he wants to go to the toilet again, so he heads to the nearest one and gets lost again.”

“How long has he been stuck?” I asked.

“A couple of weeks at least,” Tom sighed.

“Then the first thing we do is break the cycle,” I said.

“And how do we do that?” he asked.

“We put a portable toilet on the outside of the labyrinth, so that he’ll use that when he gets out,” I replied, waving my wand.

“I hope Enid isn’t monitoring this,” I thought. “It’s going to be hard to explain.”

“Now what?” asked Tom.

“I think you need to get me up to speed about what is going on here, my instructions weren’t very forthcoming,” I smiled.

By Janice Nye © 2020