So, what’s the catch
“So
what’s the catch?” I asked myself as the smiling sales person
looked around the desk for a pen with which to sign on the bottom
line.
“Doesn’t
seem to be a pen here,” they smiled. “I shall see if one of my
co-workers has one.” they added, heading off.
“Don’t
worry,” I said looking at the document again.
“If
something looks too good to be true, it usually is,” it’s
something I was taught at Primary school, that and don’t sign
anything till you have read it and understood it thoroughly. Taking
that advice to heart, I reread the document looking for the catch and
wondered how I came to be there.
It
all began when a card came through the post, inviting me to a free
upgrade to my car, being as it had just failed it’s MOT, it sounded
like a good idea. Now, looking at my car through the window room I
was beginning to have my doubts. The timing seemed to good to be
true, especially as it passed the following day without any problems
or advisories.
“I
found a pen,” said the smiling assistant.
“Where
did you find that?” I asked.
“Actually,
I went next door to the newsagents,” they admitted. “They were
on sell off.”
“Useful,”
I smiled at the pen being handed to me. “I haven’t seen what my
car is being upgraded to.”
“You
haven’t?” they asked.
“No,”
I smiled. “I think, perhaps I should take a look, before
signing.”
“Of
course, it was very remiss of me, I do apologise,” they stumbled
over their words and ushered me towards the parking lot.
“Are
you sure this is it?” I asked, looking at something that was older
than my car and looked as if it was only the muck that was holding it
together.
“I’ll
go and check,” the assistant replied. “Could you tell me what
your objections to it are?”
“It’s
neither use nor ornament,” I smiled. “I can drive my car, this
would need a good wash before I could even see through the windows.”
“So
that would be a deal breaker?” they asked.
“Yes,”
I said.
“I’d
better talk to my manger,” they smiled. “Would you care to wait
inside?”
“It’d
be better than waiting out here,” I smiled back at him. The sun
might have been bright, but the temperature had failed to rise above
freezing for the last week.
“I
shan’t be long,” the assistant smiled, ushering me back into the
show room. “Would you like a drink?”, they added pointing to
the drinks machine.
“Thank-you,
but no,” I smiled. “I’ll need to be going in half an hour, so
if you can get some answers before then, I would be grateful.”
“Of
course,” they said, hurrying off.
I
was back at the sales desk, looking through the window at my car.
The MOT people had put it through a car wash to make up for not
passing it the first time. Some error in paperwork, they had
explained it. The result was that, with the sun glinting on the
windows, my car looked a much better prospect than their alternative.
“My
manager said that car was a mistake,” the assistant smiled
nervously, turning up without me noticing.
“That’s
one way to describe it,” I smiled. “So what are you suggesting
as a replacement to my car?”
“We
have several electric bicycles,” the assistant started to say.
“I
already have a bike,” I replied.
“But
not an electric one!” they insisted. “Just think of the energy
you’ll save!”
“I
ride my bike for exercise, to keep fit,” I replied, the smile on my
face beginning to feel rather fixed. “The day I need an electric
motor for my bike is the day I will put it up for sale.”
“I
don’t understand,” stuttered the assistant.
“I
was offered an upgrade on my car,” I reminded them. “What you
have offered me is not an upgrade.”
“An
electric bike,” they started to say.
“Is
no good for going to see my Father, it’s a 90 mile round trip and I
have to be ready to go at any time of the day or night,” I
explained.
“It
is possible to do 90 miles on a bike,” they tried to explain.
“Not
in the middle of the night and not when you may be responding to an
emergency and not when you are me,” I snapped.
“Have
you thought of moving closer to your Father?” they asked.
“This
is about an upgrade to my car,” I replied, standing up. “What
you have offered is nothing like an upgrade. I think that you have
brought me here under false pretences, so I am leaving, with my car.”
“But
you were going to sign this,” they said, pointing to the document
on the desk.
“That!”
I muttered, picking it up, taking it over to the shredder and feeding
it through.
“But!
But!” they muttered, looking confused.
“The
deal sounded to good to be true and it was,” I smiled, heading for
the door and my car.
“I’ll
talk to my manager again,” the assistant stuttered. “I’m sure
we can come to some sort of agreement.”
“I
don’t think so,” I smiled.
“You
agreed to sell your car to us,” a voice bellowed from a door at the
back of the car show room.
“No
I didn’t,” I said. “You offered to upgrade it and I said I’d
take a look at the upgrades. What your assistant has shown me can, in
no way, be described as an upgrade. You have wasted my time and
tried my patience. I am leaving.”
“We
have your signature,” the manager said, emerging from the office.
“No
you don’t,” I said.
“I
thought you got her to sign?” the manager said, addressing the
assistant.
“We
didn’t have a pen,” the assistant replied.
“Can’t
sign anything without a pen,” I smiled.
“On
the phone you said,” the manager started.
“I
said that I would see what you had to offer,” I replied.
“Yes,
you agreed to the swap,” the manager insisted.
“I
agreed to consider it,” I replied. “Having looked at what you
have on offer, I prefer to keep my car.”
“Is
that the car you promised me?” asked another customer. I had seen
him, through the window, looking at my car and getting more and more
excited as he circled the vehicle.
“No.”
I replied. “That is my car and it is not for sale.”
“But
you promised,” the customer said, looking at the manager.
“I
thought,” the manager said, looking at me.
“You
thought you’d sell my car,” I said.
“And
you might have, if you’d offered me something half way decent,”
I thought walking out of the show room and driving off. “Good job
they didn’t have a pen or I might have been caught out on that.”
by
Janice Nye © 2023
